Marriage in Real Life
Marriage in Real Life
🎙️ How to Protect Your Peace | Stop Letting People Drain You
How much of your peace are you giving away without permission? This eye-opening episode dives deep into the essential practice of protecting your mental and emotional space from those who would drain it without adding value to your life.
Lady P vulnerably shares a personal experience where her joyful day was completely derailed by someone who came in "pointing fingers and accusing." What hurt most wasn't the accusation itself, but realizing she had allowed someone else to steal her peace. Through powerful insights and real-life examples, she explains why boundaries aren't selfish—they're necessary for survival in a world that constantly demands our energy.
"Your peace is priceless," Lady P reminds us, sharing practical strategies for taking back control: shifting focus to what truly matters, quieting your thoughts through journaling and meditation, challenging negativity, and letting go of what you can't control. The episode features moving calls from listeners like Nikki, who shares how she's teaching her 11-year-old daughter about boundaries after a friend's hurtful comment disrupted her peace.
Whether you're the person who always ends up planning the entire party when you only agreed to "help," or you find yourself drained by friends who dump their drama on you, this episode offers compassionate wisdom for setting boundaries without guilt. As Lady P beautifully states: "Peace is my power and I won't trade it for anything or anyone." Ready to reclaim your power? This conversation is your permission slip to protect what's precious—you.
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We are back in the house. Thank you so much for joining us. For those of you who do not know me, my name is Lady P False Lady. I'm Eric Foss and I thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1:This is episode four. I believe Four or five, I think it's five and I want to thank you for hanging in there with me as I go and travel this journey. I'm learning and growing as well, so I feel like each episode gets just a tad bit better and I get just a little bit more comfortable. I'm so used to being in the back screen and just doing what I have to do back there, but I'm getting a little adjusted. I won't say comfortable, but definitely adjusted.
Speaker 1:So again, I am Lady P and you are tuning in to let's Talk About it with the girl. I want to just let you know that I appreciate you tuning in and joining. I don't take it lightly when I see you out there. It gives me a little bit more comfort to know that you're actually out there rooting me on and you're in the girl's corner. So I do appreciate it. I don't take it lightly at all. I send blessings and love to each and every one of you, If you haven't already like and share. Like and share. You never know. You might come across someone that just need a little bit of pick me up, or someone that just may want to share something. So, with that being said, we're going to roll.
Speaker 2:my Trying to be more than the test Clear to be an expert, and then clear to be a bunch of people Clear to be a member of the test. Provoking a star to the cancer Close. Clear to be a member of the test and then clear to be an expert.
Speaker 1:All right, let's get started. Oh, where have I been up?
Speaker 2:to.
Speaker 1:I've been up to quite a bit this last couple of two weeks A lot of resting as well, because you know that school has just started back and we got a whole bunch of new babies that we just loving on. For some reason lately we've been getting identical twins and being a twin mom it's so interesting that I can never tell those other kids apart. But I can tell my kids apart by their personalities and I'm pretty sure that their parents can too. So I'm always calling them nicknames. But the funny thing about it is, as young as they are, they just answer. So I enjoy that and getting caught up in that and playing. I got an opportunity this week to actually sit on the floor and play with the babies a couple of days, not every day. I get so busy with all of the management part of the job, but I had an opportunity to sit down and build blocks and listen to them and they're talking already. So these pandemic babies, they ain't wasting no time. They talking early and they transitioning and they know exactly what they're saying when they say it. It just brings me so much pleasure, although you know I think my time there is pretty much done. We did have the opportunity to have an in-service with the saints at our real life church and I just so enjoyed it and met with the saints when they lifting up the Lord together and worshiping, you know, and just giving Him praise. So I truly enjoyed it, seeing their faces and seeing that they're okay. You know, everything's not always hunky-dory with everybody. You don't get everything. However, when you're in the midst of somebody that you know that's serving the same person that you're serving, the same God that you're serving, it makes it so much easier for you to say if God can do for that person, god can do for me, you know. So I truly enjoyed that. I sing on the praise team, so my vocals wasn't the best. Since we haven't really been in service. I've been still laughing, so the vocals weren't the best. So I'm definitely going to be trying to focus on that and get that better.
Speaker 1:Also, girl, I have some news I'm going back to school. I'm excited about that. I will be moving out of early child care. I just think that my journey and my season in that is done. So I'm going to be moving into something else in a social work capacity, which will probably still end up dealing with children, but not the hands-on part of it, just the guidance and direction for parents or for moms. So I am excited about that, not about the study, but my kids. They're going to help me out, right, they're going to help me out, so I'm excited about that.
Speaker 1:So let's just go ahead and get into our topic tonight. Don't disturb me. You know, a lot of times we give so much to people and they take and take and when we, once it's all gone and we're there, the left to pick up our own not fair, and you know we don't realize the power that we get. Um, I just want to share. So I'll be a bit transparent and please, if you have any words to encourage me or suggest how I can deal with certain situations, I would love it. I would love it.
Speaker 1:I woke up on Tuesday morning and I was so happy it's six o'clock in the morning. I got music on, I'm dancing and singing and my husband coming around like, oh, you're in a good mood, I'm in a great mood. I was ready to hit the ground running, start the day and just enjoy myself. And I got to work and kids were good. I didn't have to rescue any of the teachers, everything.
Speaker 1:That was the day that I had an opportunity to sit on the floor and play with the kids and at the end of the day, lo and behold, someone comes in and just start pointing fingers and accusing and I just totally lost it.
Speaker 1:I totally lost it and I end up walking out and at that moment I had allowed that to steal my peace and I was so upset with myself because two nights I couldn't sleep behind it. But not that I was upset with what the person said, but I was more upset with myself for allowing it to happen. So in our lives, we have to be careful who we allow to come into our space and how much of our peace we're going to allow space and how much of our peace we're going to allow. Not that we're trying to control all aspects of situations, because that is not the way that we should be as human beings, but when it comes down to yourself, you have to take control or people will take control of you.
Speaker 1:So, with that being said, I'm going to roll this video. This young lady really encouraged me with her words, so I wanted to share it with my audience and please, if you haven't liked and shared, like and share and also if you want to call in and make you know some suggestions, or just you know share. The number is 754-222-19. Can we roll that video, sir?
Speaker 3:It's out on you videos, sir. So now you protect your peace. You walk away, not in anger, in wisdom. Stand where you're not respected drains the best parts of you. And the bible says in matthew, chapter 7, verse 6 do not give what is holy to dog. Do not throw your pearls before swine, or they would trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces. You are that pearl. Pearl, your love, your energy, your heart, all of it is valuable. And if they couldn't see that while they had you, then let your absence teach them what your presence could. If that spoke to some of your spirit, read the tears that taught me. This book helped me release what was breaking me and find peace without bitterness. It's not just healing, it's becoming Type. I am the pearl in the comments and send this to someone who's finally learning how to let go all right, all right, all right.
Speaker 1:I think you love that because in a lot of ways you, if you don't set boundaries you got to be okay with saying no. You got to be okay with saying no without feeling guilty, that you said no Because not every request deserves your time and you have to understand that even if you give people this time, are they giving you the value of your time? They're not. They're taking advantage, and not everybody, but you know the one, you know the one. It's okay to say no because at the end of the day, you're picking up your own and trying to put your own puzzle back together, and that's not fair. Life is full of ups and downs, but we have to control the downs that we're going to allow from other people. So at the end of the day, you have to put yourself down. Have you ever been involved where someone wants you to help with the party? You end up planning the party, cooking the dishes, driving the food around, and then, at the end of the day, what do you have left? You're exhausted, you're tired and probably didn't even get an opportunity to even enjoy that event, because you were supposed to be helping. But now it has all been dumped on you. But they say it's okay. You know, if you don't stand up and say anything, someone they're going to say, oh, don't worry about it, she can do it. It's so funny that I was watching this episode of Girlfriends it's Girlfriends back in the day. I think we were in the first episode and one of the characters on there, her name is Joan, and whenever something went down, she was right there. She was planning and she was doing it and she was pulling everything together. Well, on this one episode that I was seeing, she was trying to gather family members of people who were in iraq, because her fiance was in iraq. So she kind of like we all got the same thing in common we missing him. So why don't we get together? And, you know, do a cookout and let's do this. So as everybody get together to her house for this meeting, they she starts saying okay, so who's going to bring this? Nobody said anything. Okay, she said don't worry about it, I'll bring that. So who would like to bring this? Nobody said anything. So she said okay, I'll bring it. By the time she finished, she was doing everything. No one volunteered. You know why? Because they knew she would do it. They knew she would do it. And when people get comfortable with you saying, okay, I don't mind helping, I'll step in and I'll do, yeah, I'll help out. And at the end of the day, it's left on you.
Speaker 1:You have to guard your peace. Your peace is so important, your peace is power and you can't just let any and everybody dilly and dag into your peace, your space. You have to take it. You know they act.
Speaker 1:You know someone may ask hey, well, you know, would you like to go and do this? Perfect example. Back in the days I had friends that asked me hey, would you like to come do so-and-so with us? And I was like sure I'll come, only to get there and find out that I end up paying for everything. Wait a minute. I was invited, but because I was comfortable with saying oh, okay, don't worry about it, I got this, they are okay, inviting me to somewhere with no money and I have to pick it up because I'm there now. You know, and I don't want to leave anybody behind.
Speaker 1:That's how people take advantage of you, that's how people invade your space, that's how people invade your peace and it's not fair. And then, when you speak up on it, then you're the person that's causing the problem. But you're never, never, ever wrong when you're standing up for yourself. You have to stand up, so you have to do it in a manner where, if you're in a professional setting, you have to do it professionally and if you're in your family, you know how your family get down. You have to let them know and even sometimes with your best friends or your distant friends, you have to limit toxic influence. That's fine. You have to, and I'm a big media TikTok person. I rode through TikTok a lot, to the point where they say, hey, would, would you like to get paid for this? Yeah, I need to fast from that.
Speaker 1:Reduce the time with people that cause you, people that don't focus on what's important to you. You have to reduce that time, reduce time from social media. Any environment that's going to drain you is not going to help build you up. You need to like eliminate that, anything that's not going to take. Focus on the things that you need done for you. Don't put yourself to the side to satisfy other people because at the end of the day, would they do the the same for you?
Speaker 1:Now I have some friends that I know I could call my best friend in high school. We don't talk every day, sometimes we don't talk a year, but when we see each other, or if I call her and say, hey, val Val's going to drop what she's doing and she's going to come to me, no matter what it is, I can be wrong too. I saw another video where it said, hey, we're going to hurt some people Don't ask me no questions why this need to be taken care of. The vows are going to say you want to take your car or mine? That's a friend, that's a person that I can allow my peace to be disturbed for a moment, that I can allow my peace to be disturbed for a moment. You know so you do have those people in your life where, yeah, those are people that you're okay with.
Speaker 1:You also have people that will call you in the middle of the date and dump drama on you and you're saying wait a minute, wait, wait, wait. My day was going so good and now, all of a sudden, I feel like that kid from Charlie Brown with a big old cloud hanging over my head just raining. On my day when my day started out good. But I took a moment out of my day to answer my phone and this is the result that I ended up with.
Speaker 1:You have to be careful, you have to be careful. You have to be careful. Some people you'd be like you know what, it's fine, I'm going to walk away from my business, you need me, right? But then you have some people that just drop stuff on you about other people. You don't need that in your life. So you have to really, really be careful about what you allow into your space, and not to be mean or angry or anything like that, but just to have some boundaries, set some boundaries. So I came across this other video, which I thought was just awesome as well, because this is how things get misinterpreted and then we have to roll back and say wait a minute, wait a minute. This is not how I want this to go. So I'm going to go ahead and roll this next video. Can you roll that second video for me?
Speaker 4:With my peace. I will block your numbers Over my peace. I will mute you on social media. Over my peace. I will walk out of the ring. Over my peace. I'll let you think you won the argument. You win Over my peace. My peace is priceless right now.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. My peace is priceless right now. Absolutely, I love that. My peace is priceless. Your peace is priceless and no one deserves it. Unless you're willing to give it, it is priceless.
Speaker 1:You have to choose your battle when it comes down to your peace. Not everything you desire is a reaction and it's okay. You have to set that wall and not a wall that you want someone to break down. But you gotta be careful. You gotta guard your heart, your mind and definitely your peace and let it go. Let it go Because if you don't let it go mentally and physically, it's going to tear you down.
Speaker 1:And again, when you approach a person on a subject, an issue that they created and your response, you become the problem. You become the problem. It happens all the time. And let it not be any judgment. I'm not judging you. I'm not judging you. I just want you to understand.
Speaker 1:There's a limit to what I'm going to allow At this day and time. There's so much going on in the world. We really really limit to what I'm gonna allow at this day and time. There's so much going on in the world. We really really have to be careful what we allow, listen if anybody want to call in and maybe share a time or a moment where your peace was disturbed and just you know idea on how you got it back. That'd be 754-222-2219. Yeah, you got to be careful. You really, really do, Because at the end of the day, everybody wants peace and in order for us to have that, we have to set some boundaries. We just do and, like I said, when people call you and start tearing up stuff about other people, you have to determine if this is something that you want to allow. I remember when my girls was growing up and I would tell them don't let these little boys control your day.
Speaker 2:And they would go like well, what do you mean?
Speaker 1:by that mommy, and I would say, well, what I mean by it is if you just talked to him the day before and everything was wonderful, but now you guys get to school, and now he's not even speaking to you, and then he's been fussing over you all week and now all of a sudden, he's not speaking to you.
Speaker 1:And now you're feelingusting over you all week, and now, all of a sudden, he's not speaking you and now you're feeling bad because now you think you did something wrong. You haven't done anything wrong. That's how God's out. So really be careful. So really really be careful how you allow people to take over control. I have a caller on the line. Hello caller. How are you?
Speaker 2:hello, hello oh, hi hello, can you?
Speaker 1:hear me. I can hear you now. How are you? I'm doing great. How are you? This is Nikki calling from Tallahassee. Hey, nikki from Tallahassee, hello, I was calling in because just to to piggyback off of what you were saying.
Speaker 1:It's so interesting because I was just on my way to checkers with jisoo in the car and we were talking about givers and takers. She's got, she's in her second week of middle school and things are already happening, all the middle school things are already happening, and I was telling her about boundaries and how you not train, but you show people how to teach, how to treat you based on your boundaries and say this is a line and if you cross this line, which just starts with my peace, these are the consequences for crossing this line, and that consequence can be anything, but it could also be you not having access to me, you're not being my friend anymore and I think that what as a young girl, as a young lady going to be 12 soon? It was important for me to talk to her about that because she had a friend who called her name. It's this week and it really hurt her feelings. It caused her to cry and I said this person is disrupting your peace. Like you, you are so high. At the beginning of the day, you were so happy being in middle school and seeing all your friends, and that person said one word to you and called you one word. And now you're sitting in the car crying with me and I encouraged her to be strong but also to demonstrate to that friend what happened when you crossed the boundary and that boundary you're going to be my friend. Like you were saying, I need you, got you can't just take from me. You have to give because I'm going to be my friend. Like you were saying, I need you can't just take from me. You have to give because I'm going to give to you. And I'm kind of going through something similar.
Speaker 1:Like my piece is a little destructive, with the relationship that I thought was going to last longer than what I thought. But I had to ask the question about whether that person was serious or not. That person gave me an answer and so I have to draw the line. That means you don't have access to me. I am not going to be in these spots, you know, acting as a girlfriend to you because you made it clear that you're not ready and this individual is clearly very confused, still trying to see me, you still trying to treat me as a girlfriend. But I gave that as an example to use the answers to the callers about creating that line.
Speaker 1:My piece was very disruptive. I talked to you about it, I talked to Nat about it. I was very confused and you know, the Bible says, you know that God is not the author of confusion, so if there's confusion then he's not in it. And so, right, my teeth was disrupted, I wrestled with it and now I've got the answer, and now I'm clear about it. And so I have to move forward with consequences and the boundaries that I created. Because I'm valuable, like the, like the video, like I'm a pearl, so I can't. I have to really, uh, use, considered peace as something very precious to me and I can't continue to wrestle and go back and forth within somebody about whether they're going to be serious with me or not and just know that. Know, a rejection is not a rejection. You know it's God putting his divine timing into it. And so I just wanted to call in and say that my 11-year-old is learning about it and me, at almost 38 years old, is still learning about protecting my peace and creating boundaries with how people treat me. Thank you so much for calling in. I appreciate it and you gave your daughter the best advice that she could ever get Boundaries, boundaries. So give her my love and I thank you again for calling in. Have a great evening. Okay, thank you, you too, and I love this subject. It's very, very interesting and good. Okay, thank you. We all say bye, bye, bye.
Speaker 1:Let me give a shout out. There's some people that's on the line, of course, you guys. You heard nikki and how she encouraged her daughter and I, you know I really prayed about this. I said you know, lord, I have no idea what I'm going to do this week. I don't know. I said I'm just leaning on you and again, I couldn't sleep because I had that situation and he was just said you know what? Your peace was disturbed today. And I said you're absolutely right, it was so, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So this is how I came up with that, because it's just so important to me and I realized when I turned 40 that time is out for what people think about me, what people say about me. I have a life to live. I have some new grandbabies coming into my life that I want to share with them. Shout out to my sister girls, it's a click of me and my granddaughter, and it's just time. It's a click of human granddaughters, and it's just time. It's time I have a very special friend that is joining me tonight. I have Jackie Sinise, all the way from North Carolina. Thank you for joining me. We just had a new baby, y'all. I can't wait to see her. So congratulations on your little bump with Joy, and I love the pictures that you sent.
Speaker 1:Melissa is on the line. Hey, cousin, I haven't spoken to you in a while, but I'm going to read your comment. Her comment says this is a great topic and as she matures in life, she values her peace so much more, and that her piece is everything. That's what I'm talking about A copy type of everything we can't, just, we just can't let people have. People will dream and dream and draw and take, and you're sitting around like, oh my God, like how did I get to this point? I'm like, oh my God, like how did I get to this point? I love this topic, thank you Lord. I love it Because at this point I'm taking my peace back, I'm taking my joy back. I'm not going to allow anybody to walk, no more. And I'm going to do it in a professional setting. I'm going to do it with my family, my extended family. I'm not going to, I'm just not going to do it.
Speaker 1:Melissa also said she'd agree with Nikki. She also teach her that everybody is not your friend. You hear that. The earlier she understands it, the easier it will be for her to sit down and ask you mature. It's so true. We, you know, even with the baby, even in the classroom with the babies, if you don't set boundaries with them, they'll be up on top of the tables and swinging from the chandeliers. And you can start early setting boundaries with them. So you're teaching them how to set boundaries with others. And they don't have to be part of the clique, they don't have to be in the that used to say hip with the groove. They don't have to be. They can be their own person.
Speaker 1:And sometimes it's okay to be by yourself, and being by yourself is going to bring you peace. You're okay Because, truly, I used to think that, oh, I wasn't doing anything if I wasn't sitting at my house, or if I wasn't at this person's house, if I wasn't going here and I wasn't going there. But now that I'm older, I value, when I get off of work, that I come home, lay on the couch, roll through the net, value peace, my peace is so important it is and we can't allow people to take that and I know sometimes we don't intend to do it, it just for some crazy reason just happens. We let our guard down and before you know it, like this person is doing crazy. I remember this one pastor say if you really look at people, you realize people crazy and you probably wanted is crazy. I remember this one pastor say if you really look at people, you realize people crazy and you probably wanted to create people. But it's okay, you know. It's okay to draw back, it's okay to be you.
Speaker 1:It's okay to set those boundaries in relationships boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, husband and wife. You can still set boundaries with yourself girlfriend, fiance, husband and wife. You can still set boundaries with your spouse. You can set boundaries with your spouse. You have to. And I'm not talking about I'm not picking for him type of boundaries. I'm just saying you know, if you don't say, hold up, I can't do this right now, I'm going to do this on Thursday and they may want it done. Then you know what they can do. They can do it themselves. They can do it themselves, they can do it, just so. In other words, everything does not require every action. Just let some things go.
Speaker 1:People gonna talk about you. Oh yeah, they're gonna talk about you. They are, but you know what they talking about you. They thinking about you. They're gonna say stuff when you're up and they gonna say stuff when you're down. You cannot control what people gonna say about you, how they gonna judge you. It is what it is. I used to, my daughter used to say that to me. It is what it is, mom, and I used to say that's such a nonchalant response it is what it is, it's like it, I don't care anything about it, it's, that's just what's going to happen. But when it comes down to people judging you, yeah, let it be what it is, because they don't believe what they want to believe and guess what. You don't have to go to court. Prove them wrong. Whoever they talking to, if they know you, like they say they know you, they'll be like yeah, that ain't something she would do. Well, he would do. Yeah, that. That that's the key on that.
Speaker 1:How to take control of your feet. I have four things that I want to share with you on how you can take control of your feet. Shift your focus. If, whatever it is, it's not going to give you any attention, it's not going to give you any attention if not going to benefit you, let it go. Focus on the gratitude you have for yourself, the progress that you have for yourself, okay, and whatever solutions or goals that you set for yourself. That's one of the things you can do is shift your focus. I have a caller on the line. Hey, caller.
Speaker 2:Hi Cousin Patsy.
Speaker 1:Hey, it's my cousin, Melissa from Atlanta. Y'all how you doing, I don't know. It's been so long. I'm doing well, it's just been so long and I've been missing your show. I've been getting the reminders, so this is why I wanted to call in For all. I've been getting the reminders, so this is why I wanted to call in for all of you mothers to give to these kids. I understand we have these kids, but now I'm dealing with adult kids y'all. But these kids have had these threats now since July 31st and I'd say glance over their situation, flying all over the place to make sure that they're okay.
Speaker 1:And my husband said to me they are adults, let it go, send them home, let them figure it out. I just had to let it go and I said I'm letting go and I'm letting God.
Speaker 2:And everybody on this line.
Speaker 1:I tell you I was so stressed out to the point I started to feel ill. Going from New York, san Antonio, new York now I've got to go to Pensacola. It was just a little too much. So for you mothers, that's great. Kids and us to be here, that's great. Let's do what we can as mothers until they become adults and as adults, let's learn how to protect our peace, let's learn how to set boundaries and let's just learn to let go and let God it is okay with these adult kids. That's what I had to say. Well, thank you so much for calling in and I told them we agree with you and you know I got the back paddle on. Why are you making your kids move out? Why are you doing this? You shouldn't make them do that, and I wasn't making them because I felt like the tools was given for them to be out there in that world. Your goal is to get them out just so they can have their days now, if they fall down, amen.
Speaker 1:You know, mommy's gonna, mommy oh, I'll be like eric I got a kiss flight, hey. Hey. I tried to move to town Right and down the street from the college, but Jordan and I didn't want to let go. That was my baby. He was going to college at 17. Right, but I'm a big fan.
Speaker 2:I totally get it. I totally get it.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I know, cedric, I understand. I'm there with you, I understand. But basically you tell Ty I say hello and thank you so much for calling in. He heard you, he's listening. But thank you, you're doing a great job and congratulations on returning to school. My mom used to always say how smart you were. I'm so proud of you for making that choice and then having that trajectory for your career. So congratulations, thank you so much, and hi Ty.
Speaker 2:Thanks Teri.
Speaker 1:Bye-bye. You know, and I know so many parents that won't let their adult children be adults. It's okay to scoop in there and help them pick up stuff and get back on track. There's nothing wrong with that. Let me tell you, my kids know I made sure we had a guest room so, if anything happens, my babies can come home, regroup and get right back out there again. And we've had a few of them that have come home. All of them have come home with one another.
Speaker 1:I can't wait until I turn 18 18 I'm moving out of this house. Oh, on that 18th birthday. Well, guess what? You're 18, what are your plans? And? But my kids had a plan. I mean, I had one at first grade. She had already decided what college she was going to go to give them the tools that they need to get out there. When they get out there and they're successful, that's when you know you did a good job. That's when you know I gave them what they needed. And now they're out there and they're doing their thing. I love it. I love it. I'm proud of them. I can't take all the credit for it because they did right there in the same corner with me saying, hey, we got to encourage this and we got to do that and, with the help of the Lord, it was awesome.
Speaker 1:How to take control of your peace. Well, we've already finished. Give your focus. Give attention to what helps you develop. Give attention to what helps you grow. Give attention to what brings you satisfaction. Walk away from whatever is not going to be beneficial in your leisure time. Take a moment, like I just started journaling. That's something that I forgot to put on. I did. The pastor had encouraged us to journal and I used to a long time ago, maybe 20 years ago. I just started back journaling and I've been going back and reading from when I first started up until the present day and I realized that I have so much growth in what I feel about me which, the more I write about it, the more I say you know I need to go to school, I'm going to go to school, so I'm excited about that. But that journaling really, really, really helped, helped me focus on me.
Speaker 1:I try meditating on what I read, my word, I pray and I try, you know, meditate on what I've read and my prayers, and I try. I was just telling someone in Bible study last night sometimes I'll be praying so much, I forget to pray for myself. I don't know if that ever happened to any of y'all, but I get so caught up in the prayer of other people and the Bible center and seeing your angels to protect them, protect us. I get so involved in everybody else that I totally forget about. And oh yeah, lord, let's not forget about passing, but that meditating, releasing clutter from your mind. You know first episode.
Speaker 1:On a second episode, we talked about self-care. Do self-care every single day. If you are a career person and you get a paycheck every two weeks, go buy yourself something. I don't care if it's underwear, mascara. Buy something for yourself to show you that you appreciate you and you deserve to be appreciated. And not only that, how Nikki said, you have to set the tone on how you, you deserve to be appreciated. And not only that, how Nikki said, you have to set the tone on how you're going to be treated. And if you don't, you'll be walked all over.
Speaker 1:So try meditation and journaling. Journaling is so good I never. I just realized how much I enjoyed it back then. I'm really and truly enjoying it now. And take all that clutter out, like melissa was saying, she was so busy about everybody else's business that she started to feel sick. It happens, and we don't even think it's happening. Until that body is shut down on, you Say hello, we need to do this, and you'll be stuck home and won't be able to do much of nothing. So quiet your thoughts, your thoughts, meditating, praying, journaling, and just an Ustah moment.
Speaker 1:This next one is one of my favorite out of the four Challenge and negativity. If someone is bringing something negative to your era and your space, ask yourself two questions Is this what this person is saying is true? And if this is worth my peace? If it's not worth my peace, it's not worth me even wondering if it's true or not, because if it's going to destroy this little unit that I got going on here, I want nothing to do with it and that's how we have to be. And I don't hope I sound like a mean girl, because I'm not trying to sound like a mean girl, but it's been too many walks in life where you have allowed people to just enter in and then they just walk away and leave you holding it back and you're thinking what really happened here. I was giving my all, I was supportive If you needed a ride, if you needed groceries. I was doing everything like a friend should do and all of a sudden you're gone. And now here I am trying to wonder what I did. You didn't do nothing. You didn't do nothing. People will take advantage of you if you allow them to. If you don't set the boundaries, like the caller said, people will treat you how they want to treat you. Yeah, that's the challenge of negativity, is it true? Is it worth my peace? Is it worth my time? And if it's not, let it go. Let it go. People are going to be mad at you either way. That's just the way it is. They're just going to be that way the way. That's just the way it is. It's just going to be that way.
Speaker 1:The fourth one is control what you can and what you can't. Let it go, no matter the outcome or how things have been done in the past, no matter how you have done things in the past. Control what you can in your life, and I think the most important thing that we can control in our lives is our peace and who we want to allow to give a little bit of that to. It's so important. If you have grudges against people, let it go. It ain't worth it. Because sometimes we'll hold a grudge against a person and they'll be over there living their best life and we think how can they be so happy after doing what they did to me? They don't care what they did to you, because if they did, they'll be trying to fix the situation and not be living their best life until they fix it.
Speaker 1:I remember when I first started working at my school there was a plumber At that time I think I was a, I was a classroom assistant and there was this lady there that she just made all of the teachers was just miserable with this woman.
Speaker 1:She just made life miserable for everybody. And so we came then we figured, hey, we don't want to, we're going to walk on eggshells and we're just going to stay out of her way, which nobody wants to go to work like that. And I remember one day she asked one of the little girls, asked me this little two-year-old baby, and I'm pretty sure she was probably saying what is going on with this lady. But you walked in and I said hey, keelani, how was your weekend? And she said good, I said. And she turned to me. She said how was yours? And I said you know this joy that I have, the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away, and I refused to let this happen again. And then I kind of caught myself and looked over at her and she was looking like can I get that cookie?
Speaker 1:Like how did we get here? But that's how I felt and at that point I went to work my head. You know, I want to know the smile and if her foot was stepped on, it was stepped on. Good morning everybody. I had a wonderful weekend.
Speaker 1:This, that and the other People will do that. This lady trained, drained the entire department and my friend from North Carolina. She can vouch on that. But when you take back that power and when I took that power back and became the director, she quit Because she didn't want to be underneath me. However, when you allow people to take that power, you've got to be in that place. Where you got to get it back, you have to get it back. So I never held a grudge against this person, but I remember it was a valuable lesson that I was taught and I use that a lot. I share that with people a lot about how you can't give, give and then you're not getting anything back. You give until you give out and then you're left to pick up your own pieces. So, with that being said, that kind of wraps things up. Just have, don't put unrealistic expectations on yourself and don't try to please everybody either.
Speaker 1:I love people. I love hanging out with my girls. Y'all know I'm crazy about babies. I love hanging out with my family, but at the end of the day, if I can't love, who else is going to love me? Well, eric will Eric's going to love me. He's going to do it for me. But Eric will Eric's in love with me. He's hurting me for years but I gotta love me. I'm important and we have to be important to ourselves.
Speaker 1:So one of the things if you guys have those sticky pads or sticky notepads, that's something that you can write on and put it on your bathroom mirror so in the morning you can read this to yourself. I want you to read this Peace is my power and I won't trade it for anything or anyone. If you put that on your mirror when you're in the morning, after you get your stuff together, say that to yourself my peace is my power and I'm not trading it for anything and anyone. I'll choose who I want to share my peace with and if it's not going to bring me joy, if it's not going to be beneficial to the way I'm trying to go, the goals I'm trying to reach, then you can't have it, you can't have it. The Lord gave it to me not to just give it away and just throw it and toss it around. I'm going to say that again my peace is my power and I won't trade it for anything or anyone. All right, I like that. I like that.
Speaker 1:So, listen, I have about oh, I have about 13 minutes. If anyone want to call in and just share with us, even if you have an idea as to how you set boundaries with therapy, I am going to ask you guys a question and hopefully someone can either put in the chat or call me and let me know. I am headed into a meeting sometime next week. I'm very passionate, but when I get to talking, people always feel like I'm yelling or I'm angry. So if you can just give me an idea, maybe some breathing exercises I can do when I'm in that meeting, because I have to get these things off my chest. It's just going on long and you know, even if you just want to, if you have my personal number, you can text me and let me know, and that would be great. Again, if you want to call in, the number is 754-222-2219. So give me a call if you can. If not, you can put it in the chat and I'll go ahead and I'll read it off again.
Speaker 1:I want to thank you guys for tuning in with me. I appreciate it. I really really do, and the calls were great. It really encourages my heart to hear that I'm not the only person that's having issues with saying no, yeah and then saying no and then feeling guilty of it. We can't do that. We have to be on the up and up. We have to be able to say yeah, not today, I'm busy, even if you ain't busy.
Speaker 1:I remember my daughter called me one day and she said hey, mom, are you busy? And I said yep. She said what you doing? I said nothing and she was like so you're not busy. I said yeah, I'm busy doing nothing, this is what I want to do, this is my busyness, and she was like crazy. She was like this woman is nuts. But if I went into control of that, she probably had me running an errand, going to do this, going to do that. So I'm busy doing nothing and it's okay to be busy doing absolutely nothing. It's where you get the rest. It's where you get the rest. Thank you, ty.
Speaker 1:Ty said hey, cousin, great topic. Thank you, Ty, I appreciate it, but you know, okay, I'm not going to get any phone calls. I'm trying to hold out a little bit. I don't want to shut you guys out, but I also just want to know, you know, this has really been so therapeutic for me. That moment, really, it really took my joy away and this was just. I guess this was a lot for me and I'm grateful that I that I was obedient and did the research on it and got information that really helped. I kind of scrolled through TikTok and got a few calls, got a few videos and a few words of encouragement. I know that book that young lady said about tears of pride. I going to definitely go and get that book. Oh yeah, natalie, put in the chat.
Speaker 1:Rest is essential. Let me tell you everybody, from my job to my church and my church itself, in the summertime, when I'm out from 2 to 4, I'm taking a nap. And now this time is the right. You can't ask it in between those hours. I'd be like, hello, how you sleep? Well, no, I'm not sleeping if I answer the phone, but everybody know I get my risk. I really, really need my risk, and Natalie also put in there. By the way, hang that deep, deep belly breathing, okay, my, while I'm in the meeting when I start to feel my temperature rise, just okay, I can do that. I'm going to be working on it because it's next week so I got time to work on that. I'm just.
Speaker 1:When it comes down to children, I'm just so passionate I'm actually going to argue. The fact that there's a two-year-old that's in the room with babies, that told us the other day, told the teacher the other day when he wanted to leave the circle time. Come on, man. I was like this child is not, he doesn't like to be here. It's nice to be here and I find it is a lot with, you know, a lot of the minority not minority children Hispanic, black, asian that you know they'll do that too, but in this particular program it's pretty much centered around a lot of the minorities. We don't have a lot of non-minorities in there. But it's an excellent program, I think, you know, with a good curriculum and teachers. I think the sky is the limit. So yeah, I'll definitely try that deep daily breathing and I'll make sure I get a good night's rest the night before. I can either wake up professionally and handle this All righty then.
Speaker 1:Well, we are coming to a close and again I'm gonna leave you guys with a video and I want y'all to really listen to it and take in what this young lady is saying. But again, I'm gonna thank you. Thank you for joining. Even you can also share this after the podcast, because it will run again on youtube, as well as our other outlets I believe Spotify, apple I'm not sure with all of them, but the same outlets that we have for the Marriage in Real Life podcast, which is coming back in September. I'm excited about that. We got some good stuff going on.
Speaker 1:So, with that being said, I thank you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for tuning in. You guys made me so happy. I feel so much better, felt. Said I thank you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for tuning in. You guys made me so happy. I feel so much better. Felt like I got a lot off my chest, and the encouraging calls was just on top of it, and I just want to give a shout out to everyone who have been here. And again, I thank you and you have a good night. Roll that last video for me, dave, sir, a good night.
Speaker 3:Roll that last video for me dave, we protect your peace and don't apologize for it. Some folks thrive in chaos, but that don't mean you got to invite it to your doorstep.
Speaker 2:I'm going to find them in the post office. Bring them to the cancer Counts and maybe I'll make it. I'm here for the animals. They're gone.
