Marriage in Real Life
Marriage in Real Life
Can You Be Both Classy AND Sexy? (Spoiler: Absolutely!)
Ever wondered why that outfit in your closet makes you feel unstoppable? The connection between what we wear and how we're perceived runs deeper than we might think.
When you dress with intention, you're not just covering your body—you're crafting a visual story about who you are. Our clothing choices influence first impressions, professional opportunities, and most importantly, how we feel about ourselves. As women, we often face contradicting messages about appropriate attire, leaving us questioning if we can be both respected and admired simultaneously.
What's fascinating is how clothing becomes a powerful tool for self-expression while simultaneously building confidence. That favorite outfit isn't just fabric—it's armor that transforms your posture, your voice, and even how you interact with others. The right clothing fits your body type, reflects your personality, and makes you feel authentically you without breaking the bank. Your signature style doesn't require designer labels—it requires intentionality.
The most compelling insight? The false dichotomy between "classy" and "sexy." These qualities aren't opposing forces but complementary energies that stem from self-awareness, confidence, and authenticity. True sex appeal radiates from within—it's about energy, not exposure. A woman who carries herself with poise and grace creates a magnetic presence regardless of how much skin she shows.
Next time you stand before your closet, remember that your clothing choices represent not just fashion preferences but your values, your self-respect, and how you wish to engage with the world. Join us in two weeks as we explore "What Men Want" and continue this conversation about authentic self-presentation in a world of mixed messages.
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so Thank you, welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you so much for joining me. I am so, so excited to be back. Thank you so much for joining me. I am so, so excited to be back. Thank you so much for joining me. I truly, truly appreciate it. If you don't know me, my name is Patsy, lady P, and I am so excited to be here. So let me share with you what I've been doing for the last couple of weeks.
Speaker 1:Doing for the last couple of weeks Outside of grandparents' sitting, I went to a convention, a black multicultural convention in Orlando. It was really nice and relaxing. I got a chance to sleep in and do a little you know R&R for myself, which I so desperately needed. So I did get the opportunity to do that. Outside. I got some churching in, you know, a little bit of hand clapping and toe stomping, as my grandmother would say. So I got an opportunity to get in there and do that as well. So I was completely, completely relaxed, got rejuvenated with my spirit in the Lord and I'm ready to go. But I do have school coming up soon, so it's coming, it's going to happen. So I'm just going to take my opportunity to relax, get my mind ready before I head back to school. So I am kind of excited about having something to do versus not having anything to do.
Speaker 1:But for the most part I've just been laying around doing absolutely nothing, and I am loving all of it, loving it. I am cooking. My husband's complaining that I don't cook that girl don't know where the kitchen at. But since I've been home and he's been working now in the daytime, I try to have a little meal or something prepared for him when he gets home. Try and do my little wife duty, you know make sure my man's taken care of and make sure he's good to go when he comes through the door. So that's kind of what I've been up to. So you know, I'm going to ask him. Go ahead and roll my footage for me. Thank you, okay.
Speaker 1:So thank you again for joining me. If you haven't liked and shared, please like, subscribe if you haven't, and share. Thank you so much. I would appreciate it. I see Malika's on the line. Let me give a shout out to her. I hope you're feeling better, love. She wasn't feeling too well yesterday, but I'm hoping she's feeling a lot better today and as time goes you'll get better and better. I'm just praying for you. I pray that God just you know, heal your body, and I see we have seven other people on the line, but I would love to give you a shout out If you just type in there, hi, so I can see your name and that way you know I can give you a shout out.
Speaker 1:Ok, so I'm not going to prolong the time, because I'm really excited about this particular topic. I kind of went through some different ideas as to how I wanted to come, because last week, two weeks ago, we talked about self-love and what do we do to make ourselves feel loved and make ourselves feel, you know, make ourselves feel good, pat our own self on the back, you know, and I had some great, great comments and suggestions, which goes off to you, ladies, because some of the things you suggested I even tried as well and it worked out. So thank you so much for participating and feeding back to me. Hi, brother Daryl, thank you for being on the line. Hi, tamron, Hi, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1:So I want to talk about what we should wear as women. I can't really come up with the exact topic, as I wanted to do, but it says there's reasons why what we wear matters, and it's so important because at this day and time, we see all types of things, no matter where they're going grocery store, airport, conferences at the school. It's getting to a point where we're not really presenting ourselves as being taken serious. So our topic tonight is going to be like what women does dress matter and as choices, dressing do matter because it gives the influence of perception, it helps with our confidence, it even helped with our career opportunities and, while we have our own personal style and our own way that we express ourselves in the way that we dress, it could definitely help influence our social interaction and also it builds our self-esteem. So I was like, yeah, I can roll with that, but we're going to go through a few things here. We won't. You know, I want to. If you have anything that you would like to say, in the comments please, and I can respond to them. Or you can call in, which would be great at the number 754-222-2219. So if you want to call in, that's fine and give us some ideas on you know how you're feeling and what you think about the topic would be great, because this is an interaction. It's just not. I don't know it all, so I'm always learning and we can learn and do these things together. All right, okay.
Speaker 1:So first impressions and perception how you present yourself as a woman, a lady, a young lady, a girl, how you present yourself, it matters. You have to be mindful of the attention that you're trying to grasp. Even if you're not trying to grasp the attention, dress prepared to the way that what you're going to receive is how you put out, if that makes any sense. People often judge you by what they see you wearing. Is it right? No, you can't. You know, my mom and my girl used to say you can't judge a book by its cover. So no, sometimes it's not right.
Speaker 1:But when you're dressing to present yourself, you want to present yourself in a manner where you're taken serious, you hold confidence about how you feel and you're holding your head high about you. You're okay with what you got. And if you put on something and you got to cover it up because you feel uncomfortable, maybe you shouldn't have went with that Perfect example. Like I said earlier, we were at a conference in Orlando and we were all having breakfast and you know everybody's trying to get their breakfast on before they go to the final service and a young lady walked in and I guess when she got dressed she felt okay because whoever she was with was like hey, cool. But once she got in the presence of other people she started to try and pull her jacket closed, which wasn't big enough to close and cover. But if you've got to question yourself when you get dressed, do it, because chances are, if you've got to question it, you shouldn't be wearing it, and that's how I feel. When you're dressing professionally wearing it. That's how I feel. When you're dressing professionally, you want to enhance the perception and the competence of your trustworthiness.
Speaker 1:When I go to work, I try to dress like Patsy. I don't try to dress like anyone else. I try to be confident in what I'm wearing. I try to be professional in what I'm wearing. I spend a lot of time like I go from room to room to check on the teachers and the babies, so a lot of times I'm on the floor. So I try to wear stuff that I can get on the floor with the kids with, which means I'm not going to be showing anything that's going to show parts of my body that shouldn't be shown. I try to be professional in all manners, but it also depends on the type of work that you're doing. Like I say, I'm constantly on the floor or hanging out with the baby, so I try to dress appropriately for that and just to have respect for myself and respect for the other people that is around me as well. I try to do that. Hey, nisha, thank you for joining.
Speaker 1:When I'm in a social environment, I try to wear something that's appropriate, something that's going to how would I say, make me feel positive about who I am, what I stand for, what I believe. So, if I'm, if so, if I am going to let's say I'm going to brunch with, with the ladies or with the girls I'm hanging out and I'm doing brunch, I'm going to do my best and make sure I'm conservative but comfortable and that I look good. I'm going to dress appropriately to what I'm wearing when I wake up in the morning, one of the things that I always share with my husband. When I wake up in the morning, I already know no, I don't, I don't already know. Sometimes I do, because I'll set it out the night before. But when I wake up in the morning, based upon how I feel and how you know just how I feel, what color I want to wear.
Speaker 1:All of that plays an important part to help build your confidence and your self-esteem as to you know how your day is going to be going, how your day is going to continue. So it's important to always have your mindset as to how I want to be presented, how I want to be received and how I want to look. I want to be received and how I want to look. I try to make sure also that my confidence and my self-esteem is in line with one another, like I don't need anyone to tell me oh girl, you're looking good today. Because when I wake up in the morning and I look in that mirror, I tell myself girl, you look good today. And half of the time I'll be looking like a hot mess, but that's okay because I can build it up. But if I wake up and say I'm tired and I don't feel like this today, that's how my day is going to go. I'm going to go to the job, I'm going to go clock in because I got to get my coins, so I'm going to go clock in. But I really go clock in being confident in who I am and what I am.
Speaker 1:And it all starts with on the outside. It all starts with how I'm. How I feel on the inside is how I should feel on the outside. I should feel the same way. If I'm feeling happy, then I should dress accordingly. You know, if I'm excited, dress accordingly. You know, build your wardrobe to a point where you can. You can use that to exuberate from the inside out if that makes sense. Okay, so the next one I'm going to is confidence and self-esteem. We already spoke on confidence. I mean, we already spoke a little bit on confidence and self-esteem, but let's talk about well-fitting, stylish clothing that can help you build your self-esteem.
Speaker 1:Now, if you're going to put on a sweatshirt and you're going to put on clothes that's not going to be flattering to your body type, then you're going to run into a problem because you're not going to be confident in what you're wearing. Because you're not going to be confident in what you're wearing, you're not going to, you know, unless you just run into the grocery store, because there are times when I'll throw on a pair of sweats or leggings and a sweatshirt and I'll go to the grocery store because I'm just running in there and running out. But usually, if I'm going to leave my home, I leave my home representing my husband, my children, my family, myself. Because I don't want him to say well, you know, pastor, I saw Patsy in the store. Is she all right? Because that's just not my style, that's not how I roll. I want him to say oh yeah, I saw your wife at the store. Oh, I saw Sister Patsy at the store. Lady P, you know, whichever one they call me, I saw her at the store, but you didn't see me at the store in no bathrobe. You didn't see me at the store in no bonnet. You didn't see me in the store in no pajama pants, because those things are supposed to be worn at home and that's where I wear them.
Speaker 1:So, making sure your clothes are fitting you, make sure your clothes are stylish. When you're buying clothes for yourself, always buy a signature piece, something that you can build around. It don't have to be nothing expensive. Trust and believe I don't buy expensive clothes unless I save for it. So, and it's not a lot of expensive stuff in my closet, I don't need it, it's not what you have, it's how you wear it. So it can come from family dollar, it literally can come from family dollar, and you can just build it up, build it around it, find a signature, something signature and build out from it. And that's what I share, you know, with my friends. I'm like no, there's like oh, you always dress. I don't pay a lot for this stuff, I do not. And also, when you have on nice fitting clothing, it helps build your self-esteem, make you feel good.
Speaker 1:You'll be like girl, you're looking good today. You know, I saw this one little video about this little girl. She had to be about six. She said when I wake up in the morning I look in the mirror and I say, girl, you is cute, she's six. And if a six-year-old can look in the mirror and say that to herself, come on, ladies. We got to look in the mirror and say, girl, you're looking good today. Hopefully he lets you out the door to go to work. You got to make sure you build yourself up. And not only that if we merit ladies, we want to keep our spouses attracted to us. We want to keep his attention directly on us so we don't need his eyes wondering. That's why we got to stay in the game and we got to make sure that we're doing exactly what we're doing to keep his attention, and not only just to keep our spouse's attention. But you know to build ourselves up, pat ourselves on the back, let us know that we are looking good and feeling good. Right, can I get a clap for that, babe? Okay.
Speaker 1:So the next one is self-expression and personal style. This article says fashion is a powerful form of self-expression, allowing women to showcase their personality, creativity. Allowing women to showcase their personality, creativity and individuality. That just hit the nail on the head right there. Because when you you know, like I said I can't really stress it enough how you have to know and you have to have confidence within yourself, you just have to. You got to be creative with the things that you have.
Speaker 1:A lot of times people think, oh, I need more clothes, I need to go shopping more. No, you don't. You just need to take everything out the closet, put it on the bed and organize it and say, okay, I can wear this with this over here and I can wear this with that over there. You got to be able to be creative with the things that you have. You don't necessarily have to be at the outlets all the time, or at the mall. You don't have to be. As a matter of fact, you can do some thrift stuff too. You know A lot of nice stuff at the thrift store.
Speaker 1:I've gotten a few items myself which I visit. I haven't in a while, but I do visit the clothing choice that you have, the clothing choice that you choose. It should it should reflect your cultural background. Now, you know, come Black History Month, everybody get the business, they doing the things. You know they got oh, they got to have the African attire. I got a whole like back section in my closet is geared to Black History Month, because that's our culture. Have I ever been to Africa? No, I haven't, but I did get a chance to see Nikki walk down the streets of Africa, which I will never forget that.
Speaker 1:But you know, you want to bring that into it. You also want to bring just the culture of what's going on today, the modern daytime, like what's really happening. You want to make sure that you have a few pieces that goes with the flow and a white long sleeve shirt that you can roll up and wear in the spring. You can roll it down and wear it in the wintertime. That's something that you could put with so many different things.
Speaker 1:Make sure that you are being creative and make sure you're also being an individual. You don't have to dress like somebody else. You have to establish your own style, establish your own thing, because your style is basically your personality and your character. So be careful with that. Don't try and follow the trend of everyone. Try to create your own.
Speaker 1:I remember my oldest daughter was in high school and she was like, mom, I really want something different for school. And I said, yeah, like what she was like. Oh no, I can't think of anything. I said I'll tell you what, bring me those jeans. And I think that was when flare jeans had came out and we took those flare jeans and put them in some bleach water from the knee down and we dried them and they turned out so good. I was like okay, so you're going to wear this and wear a white top. She wore it to school, came home, she went back to a football game and it was so many different girls wearing the exact same thing.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you have to start your own thing to get things going and you just have to be creative in that process of what you're doing. Hi, nat, natty in here. Hey, nat, watching us from Chicago. Okay, so the next one is women can dress and feel empowered, comfortable and or stylish, depending on their preference Again, your preference. You have to determine what you're feeling that day, how you feel, what you feel like doing. If you're feeling flirty, if you're feeling, you know, even if you're feeling sexy, you know. Dress according to how you feel, okay.
Speaker 1:Social and cultural influences. Throughout history, women clothing has been influenced by cultural, economic and political factors. So true. Social norms and expectations can shape a perception of appropriate tire for different situations. Understanding the social and cultural context of clothing can help women, can help women make informed choices about their wardrobe. It is so true.
Speaker 1:So if you're going to a brunch, you're not going to wear a church suit with a hat. You're not going to do that. You want to dress according to the event that you're attending. So that way you know you won't feel out of place or you know you won't feel a little uncomfortable when you walk in the aisle dressed up for Sunday's best, when in fact it was brunch or lunch, or even if you're going on a date. It was brunch or lunch, or even if you're going on a date. Dress according to how. Whatever the event that you're going to be participating in, keep your social and cultural context of what you're wearing to express how you're going to go about that event, if that makes sense. So I have a little video, I'm going to run and when we come back we'll talk about it. You roll that video, babe. I'm going to stop calling him. Oh no, okay, the video is not playing, so I'm going to move on, okay.
Speaker 1:So the next thing is I want you to answer this question. You can type it in the chat or you can can call in 754-222-2219. The question is is classy sexy? Call? And let me know the content states that, yeah, some people find it classy. It's not just about the physical appearance, but it's also about how someone carries themselves, their behavior and their overall presentation. Do you guys agree with that? Hit me up in the chat, let me know. Hit me up in the chat, let me know, because sometimes there's a cross between being classy and being sexy.
Speaker 1:Some people think that it can't go together. Some people think that it can't go together. Some people think that it shouldn't go together. You know, and some people are like you know, it is what it is. It's how you present yourself, how you feel at that particular moment. If you feel sexy, you can feel sexy and not be trashy. You can be classy and sexy at the same time. But if you try to come off with being a little bit vulgar in what you're wearing and you're exposing a lot, it kind of draws attention from you honestly, because if someone's looking at I read this article today where this guy say if a man say to you you're pretty, then he's looking at you're out of appearance. If he says that you're sexy, then chances are he want to sex you. But if he tell you that you're beautiful and classy I mean he looked past all of that stuff on the outside, look directly into your eyes and scrape to your heart because he knew for one you have class, you have character, you you're going to carry yourself in a way that is, in his eyes, was presenting. You know you're going to carry yourself like a lady.
Speaker 1:And I think a lot of times we get caught up in the misconception of you know you can't be. You can't be both, but you can. It all depends on what you do. You got to have confidence, you got to have poise about you. You got to hold your head up high. You know. You got to make sure that you know you are who you are. Again, last week we talked about self-love, and a lot of self-love comes along with having confidence in yourself. Also, people that are classy, those individuals they display that without even trying. They just display that you know when you ever walk into a room and when you walk into a room, it's like everybody in the room just turn to look at you and you go like what, like what's wrong what did I do?
Speaker 1:That's because that's what they see in you. You didn't do anything, you just walked in the room. You carry yourself with such a presence that you know, not that it demands attention, but it draws attention. So when you're classy and you're confident in who you are, it's easy to be. You know, with me I have an issue. When people tell me that I'm pretty, I'd be like OK. But if they, I'd be like OK, well, thank you. But if they kept saying, oh, you know, it's just so beautiful, I start to feel a little way about that. I don't know why I feel uncomfortable. I don't know why I feel uncomfortable when people tell me that. But if they say, hey, you look nice, I'm like OK, cool. But if they start to elaborate on my appearance, then I start feeling a little weird. It's crazy when I feel a little weird, you know. But again, it depends on how you carry yourself, how you're going to draw that attention.
Speaker 1:Not being classy is not just about what you wear. You know, it's kind of like you got to have grace and you got to have some type of sophistication about yourself. Good manners, you don't want to be out and loud. I used to be out and loud not that loud, I wasn't ratchet loud, but I let my voice be heard. But I've learned as I've gotten older that my voice, if I bring the tone down, then whoever I'm speaking to it lowers the chemistry, or should I say the atmosphere, in the situation that may be discussed, or should I say the atmosphere in the situation that may be discussed. So, you know, being confident and poised and having good manners, all of that comes along with being classy. It's just not about that. You got to know who you are. You got to know what you're doing and how you're gonna do it. Just the sound, okay. So we're gonna roll this video, we will. Actually we're gonna play the audio for the video.
Speaker 1:Okay, this sounds not working either, but in the video the gentleman was talking about, um, how men feel from their perspective. I can't really go in detail because I don't. I don't. I know a few things on there that he said. I think I wrote.
Speaker 1:Oh, he said on there about what we wear, we can cause people to be judgmental of us, how we present ourselves, how we're looking. If you dress, if you dress vulgar, you're going to get that type of attention. If you dress, you know sexy, you know, you may get some attention, but it depends on what you're wearing, if you're trying to dress sexy. He stated that women men most like a woman that has class and a sex appeal. So that was one of the things he says. You got to dress in a way where you don't feel like the person is getting a different perception of what you're trying to present. So that was one of the things he said. And he said provocative is a big fat. No, men don't like women that are provocative. They want to smash the women that are provocative, but they're not trying to take the women that are provocative home to meet the mom. So I was like OK, I thought that would be OK.
Speaker 2:Let's be real, people are going to maybe draw certain conclusions or perceive you a certain kind of way based on how you're dressed, and I think it's good to just be aware and understand that. And I don't think we need to be mad if people want to jump to certain conclusions because of how we're dressed. And this is why it can get become a sensitive topic because, let's be real, there are some men out there who can be very judgmental, right, and if you're wearing and not just men, other women, but if you're wearing provocative clothing, right, some people are going to jump to certain conclusions. Okay, they're going to perceive you a certain kind of way and that might dictate, if they do approach you, how they will approach you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, All right, I have a caller on the line. Go ahead caller.
Speaker 3:Hello, can you hear me?
Speaker 1:Yes, I can hear you.
Speaker 3:Hi, this is Natalie Richards from Chicago. Ma, how are you?
Speaker 1:I'm well, thank you.
Speaker 3:Good, good, good. I wanted to talk about or give a comment about, like what sexy and classy is. I remember, like a long time ago I remember it being hot, we were out in Daddy was Station in Okinawa when we sat down and it was a long conversation about the difference between what sexy is, difference between what you know pretty is and beautiful is, and one of the things you said about sex and sexiness and sex appeal is that you could. That sex appeal is really a feeling. It's more of like your energy, who you are, and one of the um examples you used was like holly berry, holly, you said holly berry could wear a haynes foot suit with a top and a bottom and she would still have that sexiness or that sex appeal to her, no matter what she's wearing. Um, and so when I think about you know that conversation, that we had it, it reminds me that you know you can.
Speaker 3:It just says that you can be modest and still be um a sexy woman or have that, that sex appeal.
Speaker 1:But it's like a modesty that a lot of I feel like a lot of men really appreciate or a lot of people really appreciate you know, I actually I still agree with that, as I was, as I went down the rabbit hole today and I just kind of put in, you know, my little like what do men, how do men feel about modesty, being sexy, being classy? And a lot of them, a lot of them say that's what they prefer. They prefer, they don't want to see nothing. That's going to leave no imagination, you know. And then you know so. They want to see a woman that carries themselves with poise and confidence. And you're so right, sex appeal is an energy and you can tap into that energy because you know I'll tap into that energy and then the next day you'll see me in a pair of sneakers and a ball cap, you know but I'm still feeling.
Speaker 1:I'm still feeling like I felt yesterday. I just changed the narrative for the next day and that's, I think, being different and being able to flow back and forth between the two, or between the three, should I say, is good. It's good and it's easy, and even with in modesty. I even looked at that and I was like, wow, there's so many outfits that you could wear that are still modest but still sexy, still classy. You know right, you know. So yeah, I agree, I totally agree with you. I'm glad I, I'm glad I was able to impart into you guys. Trust me, I pray to ask God for wisdom when it came down to talking to you girls, because I did not want y'all in the same boat that I went through when I was your age, so I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:It and look at you, lord, you bring things back full circle. Thank you so much for calling in.
Speaker 3:I appreciate that, of course. Well, thank you so much for having me, ms Richards, you and your brother and sister.
Speaker 1:Bye, nat, bye, you and your brother and sister bye, matt, bye, okay, I got this.
Speaker 1:I got a text message from my. Thank you, lomp, appreciate that. Um, yeah, so we go back. So now we, so now we're talking like hey, you can be modest and not be and still have a classy, graceful, poised, confident look and still and have sex appeal as well. As, as Natalie said, it's definitely an energy. Energy and sometimes I can just see it exuberates off my daughters when I'm just kind of watching them from afar. And it's so funny because the last time they were here they were tearing up my, my cereal they were, they was getting it. I happened to stand in the kitchen and I happened to just look over at them and even in the process of them eating like they were, and just not paying attention, that I'm paying attention to them, I see that I have instilled in them that that energy, that confidence, that grace, that poise, and I'm, you know, and it's all through the grace of God. I do not hold credit for none of that, because if it wasn't for him on my side and teaching me how to show and set an example of how a lady should be presented and how a lady should carry herself, it's only by the grace of God, only by the grace of God.
Speaker 1:The next one is self-awareness. A classy person is often self-aware and mindful of how they present themselves. You see, this thing keep going back to how you present yourself, and when I think about it I always go right back and piggyback off of self-love. We don't love us. We can't expect for somebody to love us like we love us. So we got to love on ourselves. We got to have confidence, we got to be aware of what we do. We got to be aware of where we're going. We got to keep our heads up high and look around and make sure we're in the best of company. That's important too, the type of company that you keep If you can't be dressed. You can't be dressed one way, and your girlfriend got a Tata's falling out of shirt Because guess what? What did it say? Birds, birds, birds. That birds together will flock together. I can't remember that statement. My grandma said what she used to say Birds of a feather flock together Even if you dress one way. If a gentleman walk in that room and he see you in the presence of this particular company, he's going to automatically assume that that's how you roll. So you have to be careful with that. And not just a gentleman, anybody they're going to be like. Oh okay, she with them. So learn how to carry yourself like a lady. Learn how to be confident in who you are. Hold your head up high, because you are a queen, you are a jewel. You are a jewel, you are beautifully and wonderfully made and you might as well tap into it. You might as well tap into it. And if I'm going to tap into it for you, tap on in there. Okay. So dressing.
Speaker 1:Well, while dressing is not the only factor, dressing in a way that is both stylish and appropriate for every situation, every situation, it will contribute to the perception of your classiness. I get dressed to go to the pharmacy. Don't hate me on that. I just don't know who I'm going to run into while I'm out there and, mind you, the pharmacy is three minutes from my house. But if I'm going to the pharmacy and I get dressed, I'm going to go somewhere else. I'm going to probably go up the street to Ross or Publix or something like that. I just make it a fact, and I make it a fact not to leave my house disheveled or, you know, just looking a mess. Bottom line, I don't want to be seen out looking a mess. Now you come to my house, you might see me looking all kind of way. That's my house, I can do that and, as a matter of fact, my husband is now working during the daytime. So since he's not home at day, he used to work at night, but since he's not home during the day, I can walk around and do whatever I want.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I'll be in my pajamas at 3 o'clock Don't hate, babe, don't hate, but I'll be in my pajamas at 3 o'clock. But I know he coming through that door by 5.15. When he come through that door, my hair is done. I might have some gloss on, I might have did a little eyebrows, I'm dressed. So when he walk in the house, he ain't got to say well, dang, you been in your pajamas all day, which I'm on vacation. I think I should be able to be in my pajamas all day if I want. But you know, so, yeah, so, and that's what I do. But I don't want. I don't even want him. We've been married 33 years. I don't even want him to see me looking raggedy all the time.
Speaker 1:I have my days, though, and sometimes he'll be like yeah, you're not feeling it today, are you? No, I am not. You have a problem with that. Oh no, no, no, I'm just, I'm just saying, and that's okay. But at the end of the day, if you say, hey, we're going to go out for dinner or let's go for a ride, I'm going to go. I might not put on a full face of makeup, but I might put. I'm going to put on enough where I'm presentable when I'm out there with my man. That's what I heard and I think you know us as women.
Speaker 1:We have to, we have to be mindful, especially if we're in a relationship. You know, we want to continue to make sure we look our best. And I'm not saying jumping up at four o'clock in the morning and putting on a full face of makeup before he walk out the door. That ain't happening. We just ain't the 60s and we ain't crazy, you know. But make yourself look presentable, make him desire you, make him want you, and even if you're not in a relationship, if you're not married or you don't have a, make yourself want to be with. Look in the mirror and say, is that a girl that I want to hang out with? You know, is it?
Speaker 1:I saw another article the other day which was like I follow this lady on TikTok. Her name is Dallas and she always be dropping little nuggets to me, dropping little nuggets in her thing. And you know she's remarried. I think she's remarried almost as long as Eric and I have been married. But she said you know a woman that enjoys her own company and her own peace, a woman that is okay with being alone, is she good to go? She can take herself to a concert, she can go hang out this place by herself. That's a confident woman. That's a confident woman and the man that's going to come along in her life, if she chooses to have one, he's going to appreciate that because she won't be the clingy one. Say I'm going out with the boys, see you later, I'm going to go hang out with my brother. All right, baby, careful, call me on your way. You know that woman has confidence and she don't feel like she won't be clingy. And men don't like clingy women, even clingy wives, trust me, over time they get sick of us, we get sick of them.
Speaker 1:Oh, and so Malaika put in here about a little mystery goes a long way. That is so true. That is so true. A little goes a long way. And it's so crazy because one day I was at work and that's in almost every situation too, malaika I was at work one day and I was telling my teachers.
Speaker 1:I said, hey, I ran out of makeup. I know I ran out of foundation. I ran out of makeup. I can't remember if I said foundation or makeup, and they looked up and they was like you wear makeup. And immediately I was like, oh my god, does it look like it? It was like, no, we, what's wrong? I'm automatically thinking something wrong. And they were saying, no, we didn't we. We, we didn't know you wore makeup. No, like I've been wearing makeup since I can remember they were like, no, it just blends in so well and, trust me, it's a little. It's a little bit. And even the same way with my appearance. You know I'm not trying to draw attention to nobody. I got my attention right here at 1721. But when I leave his house, I'm trying to represent him. I don't walk out of the house with my hair a mess. I wear a scarf, with a bun in the back or a baseball cap. I try to, you know, present myself the way. He would be proud of me as well as me myself. Okay, my last point, y'all, and then we're going to take some calls, some work calls.
Speaker 1:Ultimately, whether you ultimately, whether or not someone finds you classy or to be sexy, is subjective and varies from person to person. However, many people find the combination of confidence, poise, good manners and inequalities are associated with class. Can I get a round of applause with that? Again, this all goes back to self-love and how we take care of ourselves and how we feel about ourselves. We got to be able to walk in a room. I hate to say this, but this is something that I said to somebody and the Holy Spirit convicted me of it, but I want to share it with you guys.
Speaker 1:I went to visit a friend's. I went to visit a friend at church and when I walked into the church, I just kind of felt like all eyes was on me. I went and I sat down immediately and started like oh my goodness, what's wrong? Is this dress too bright? What's going on here? This is too much, and I just felt so weird.
Speaker 1:Okay, so later on I was talking to my teachers again. I didn't tell them I didn't share that situation with them or how I felt, but we were talking and talking and then just the pat from the hood, just kind of bust out and said you know, when I walk into a room I want to look my best from head to toe. When I walk in the room, everyone should take notice that I'm in the room and they kind of look at me like what I say? Yeah, men and women, children, boys and girls they were like how stuck up I guess I can't think of the word, but that particular, and when I tell the whole story it comes into me so quick about that, but it kind of made me.
Speaker 1:I said that because of the way I felt when I walked into that church. I felt so out of place and I felt like I shouldn't be there. But it was a church, so I had a little issue with these people. So I'm like you know what, if that's how they're going to be, then whatever. When I'm like you know what, if that's how they're going to be, then whatever. When I walk in, I'm going to be like this. That is not the way to be. Yes, we should walk with confidence, we should hold our head up high and we should know we should take note If someone noticed, smile and nod your head. That's you know what I've learned over the years. It's just okay, they notice me, smile. I don't like when people look me up and down and don't say nothing. I end up saying, hey, how you doing you know, and forcing them to speak back. And sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.
Speaker 1:I get a lot of up and down from women instead of us encouraging one another and fixing each other's crown. It's like we're in competition. I ain't in competition with nobody. I got what I need right here. So I'm not trying to go for your man. I'm not trying to lean towards you. I'm not trying to do anything. I'm just trying to keep myself confident, poised, graceful and classy. I try to make sure my manners are good and I think that's where we have to be. I try to keep. I try to make sure my manners are good, and I think that's where we have to be. We have to make sure that our manners are in check, because you know us and we get such a stereotypical thing about you know, black women and they shaking their heads and all that. The reason when they started saying that, I stopped doing that. I was like OK, this is stereotypical of what they see us as, so I'm going to stop doing that. This is stereotypical of what they see us as. So I'm going to stop doing that.
Speaker 1:But you got to be able to know who you are and who you stand for. I got a comment. You just say I'd be so sick, wait a minute, I'd be so sick, it'd be hard to look pretty. Oh, I know. But you know what you can be pretty on the inside. I know you go through a lot with your health and all that, I know. But you know what you can be pretty on the inside. I know you go through a lot with your health and all that, nisha.
Speaker 1:But let me tell you something that man married you because you are the apple of his eye and you just keep on smiling and when you can be pretty, be pretty. You know. But you know, remember you know he chose you to be his bride. You got to be his bride. You got to be his bride and he's going to love you. He's going to love you regardless. But if there's anybody want to call in and say hey, my time is winding down, but I just kind of wanted to share that with you, because sometimes we get in a crossfire or we get in the misconception of do I have to show all my skin to be sexy, or do I have to show all my skin to pull a man?
Speaker 1:Well it depends on what type of man you're trying to pull, and that's going to be the key there. But remember, if you pull him like that, that's what he's looking for. So even once you get him and you start throwing on your sweats and your sweatshirts, he going to be over there looking at Sally Sally, showing the skin. You want someone that's going to that. You can build a foundation with, someone that you can build up and grow from the bottom up, and I think that's important to have a relationship that you can build up from or you can build up from the bottom can build up. And also, you know men, we have to look at them too, because sometimes they be looking a little messy. You know I I'm constantly buying um Eric clothes. I buy him clothes because I know how I want him to look, I know what I want to see, so I sometimes give him the opportunity to choose his own stuff.
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 1:But for the most part I make sure I buy him what I want to see him in, because just as much as I want him to see me looking attractive and sexy to him, he kind of wants the same thing. For me it goes two ways. And again, when it's just you, you know I'm not single, but if I was yeah, my peace being by myself, my confidence would rocket through the room. But what I know now, because when I was younger I felt like I had to be in a relationship. But for the most part, just keep it simple, keep your confidence. Wear clothes that are going to fit you. Wear clothes that's going to be appealing to you. Oh, natalie put in a comment. She said getting pretty boosts. It does, does it not? When you get yourself together perfectly.
Speaker 1:I used to get my hair done. I used to go to the salon. Whenever I went to get my hair done, you know where I went to go. I went to go hit the club so I could turn up Because I felt pretty, I looked good, I was ready to go check a tail feather and sweat it all out, which is usually what happened. But when you feel good, you look good. You know, james Brown said I look good, I smell good. You know, he was feeling good in that interview. He was feeling good. He was feeling good, I smell good, you know he was feeling good in that interview.
Speaker 3:He was feeling good.
Speaker 1:He was feeling good. So if he can do that and feel good and look good about himself, james Brown, a sweaty mess on stage, gave the best concert they say they've ever had was James Brown concert was lit, sweaty, messy, but he gave his all. But if he can say I look good, I smell good, hey, that's why the ladies love him, that's why the ladies love him, so, okay. So, with that being said, since I don't have any callers, okay, thank you so much, natalie, for calling, and we're going to go ahead and wrap it up for the night. I'm so excited about our next topic coming up. I won't share that with you just yet, but you know, actually I am.
Speaker 1:The next topic is what do men want? Hopefully we can get some guys, hopefully we can get some guys to call in so they can, like, tell us what they want because, like they say, women are from Mars and men are from Venus. Yeah, I think that's about right, because we don't know what they want. They don't know what we want, so they say so we got to figure out what each other want. And what exactly are we looking for? What are you looking for in a wife? What are you looking for in a husband. So that topic would be what men want. And hopefully some men will listen in and they they'll say that's not what we want. So they can correct us, they can call in and tell us no, that's not what we want.
Speaker 1:that's not what we're looking for, you know. So that's what next topic is going to be what men want and, with that being said, I'm going to go ahead and bid you guys a good night again. Thank you for joining me. If you, please like and share. If you haven't subscribed, subscribe, and I look forward to seeing you guys in two weeks. Oh yeah, another thing Someone said to me that because I switched, thursday night they can't be on. I can't meet the need of everybody, but if you know someone that's available for Thursday nights, someone that can watch us on Thursday night, please like and share and let them know we'll be back on in two weeks. Thank you, I love you guys. Thank you so much for tuning in and have a great, great, great evening music. Thank you.
