Marriage in Real Life
Marriage in Real Life
Let's Talk About It with Lady P - Embracing Authentic Self-Worth in Love and Life
Lady P steps into the podcast world with refreshing candor, creating a judgment-free zone where women can discuss life's real complexities. Drawing from her 33-year marriage, experience raising six children, and personal journey from difficult beginnings to fulfilled womanhood, she offers wisdom that feels like advice from your most honest friend.
This premiere episode dives into finding balance between independence and partnership, maintaining your authentic self in relationships, and identifying partners who will value rather than diminish you. "If he fears God, he's not going to do anything to damage you," she explains, highlighting how spiritual values translate to respectful treatment. Lady P tackles domestic violence with particular sensitivity, reminding listeners that "your self-worth is worth more than having a man" and challenging religious contexts that sometimes enable harmful situations.
For single parents, she offers practical guidance on introducing potential partners to children and setting healthy boundaries. Her approach emphasizes self-love as the foundation for everything else: "You cannot lose yourself trying to be somebody else's it girl. You got to be your own it girl."
What makes this podcast special is Lady P's willingness to be vulnerable about her own mistakes and growth. From teenage motherhood to finding her way through difficult relationships, she shares how faith provided direction without imposing limitations. Her storytelling weaves together practical advice, spiritual insights, and hard-earned life lessons in a way that feels both accessible and profound.
Join us biweekly for conversations that promise honesty without judgment, wisdom without preaching, and community without competition. Send in your questions and topic suggestions—everything except politics is on the table!
Watch the live show on Youtube.
Follow us on Facebook & Instagram at @marriageinreallifepodcast
Hello, hello, hello and welcome. Welcome to. Let's Talk About it with your girl, lady P. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm a little bit nervous, so work with me on this. In the meantime, we're going to roll that theme music Hello, hello and welcome again. And thank you so much for joining me. I'm so excited. This has been a long time coming and now we're here. So today I just kind of want to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about who I am and how this idea came about.
Speaker 1:My name is Patsy Richards. I'm also known as Boss Lady Boss Lady to my husband. I've been married to my wonderful, wonderful husband for 33 years. This has been such a journey that we have been on for these 33 years. It's always been some ups and downs, but hey, we still together. Like they say on the Living Color, we still together, but we still together. So I know there's a purpose and a plan that God has for us to journey in this life together. So I'm so grateful for him. He has really encouraged me and helped me to become who I am today. He's in my corner, he's my biggest cheerleader, so I'm so grateful for that man of mine, my Mr Mister.
Speaker 1:We have six wonderful, wonderful children, four gorgeous daughters and two handsome sons. Our oldest son transitioned back in 2006. It's been 19 years. We truly, truly miss him. He definitely made sure his sisters was in check, so we miss that. And then we have our baby boy. God has just truly blessed our children. I am so grateful to what he has done. When I look at them I'd be like I can't believe that I'm a product of that. And they are successful children, never really caused us any problems, you know, other than the normal bickering that siblings do. But for the most part it has definitely been a joy being a parent to them. My bonus kids was always just a plus to add to the clan, you know. So that was great. I'm definitely grateful for that.
Speaker 1:My daughters that I had hand in raising, you know I was I was 14 when my oldest was born and I was just a kid myself. So a lot of the times I was pretty much growing up with my children, you know, learning how to be a mom and learning how to be patient and understanding. You know learning how to be a mom and learning how to be patient and understanding. And they, they I mean I'm sure I gave them a hard time. I'm certain I gave them a hard time and I gave them a hard time because I didn't want them to go through what I had to go through and so growing up and them being patient with me and me being patient with them and us growing and learning together, we have such a wonderful relationship now as women. They're still my babies, but I know they are women, so I am, you know, indebted to encourage them and talk with them whenever they need me, whenever they want my undivided attention. So that part, you know, I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 1:Also, I am the oldest of almost 200 plus grand and great grands. I am the oldest. I'm in my 50s. We can just leave it right there. I have so many cousins just underneath me, so many of them that I mean they look up to me and I can only pray to God that I give them something encouraging. Sometimes I look at them like they're crazy, but of course, growing up that's kind of what we do. A lot of my younger cousins call me auntie. Now I used to say, well, why are they calling me auntie? I'm your cousin, you know I'm your cousin and they'll be like it's just the respect. So we know that that's still going on these days. People are still showing respect. So I truly respect and honor when they call me their auntie, although I'm their big cousin, and I enjoy being in this place. You know my grandmother had 13 children of her own and each one of those children developed children. And it's just so many of us.
Speaker 1:I stopped counting. Every time I try to count, I lose count. So I know we're somewhere and we're not at 200. We might be very try to count, I lose count, so I know we're somewhere and we're not at 200. We might be very close to it 196, maybe 204 or something like that but we have a tribe. We have a tribe. So when you mess with one, no matter how angry or frustrated we've gotten with the other, you mess with all of us. So if you don't want the tribe coming out, we come out like Indians. You don't want that because we will come out and we will do what we have to do.
Speaker 1:I also have one brother and one sister. Being a big sister has always been a challenge for me because well, as my brother must have probably say, she was a little selfish. But you know I have their total respect from them. You know, I put them in place and told them what to do. There were a time when my mom wasn't available for us and I had to step in and parent them. I think I was around 12. I had to step in and parent them and I think, doing that process of parenting them only with the skills that my mom had given to me at that young age it was I was able to kind of guide them. And do you know what mom couldn't do at the time? Because she, you know, she was sick and I stepped up and I had to do what I had to do for them. So I do love them dearly and I would have rather been a kid than to be trying to raising kids. But I knew that at that particular point in my life it was time for me to step up and be the big sister and take care of what mommy couldn't take care of at that time, and I'm also grateful I have a great mom. I was a horrible kid but I have done more than what I could do in the last 40 years to make up for the problems and the issues that I created and caused, because I'm pretty sure I did. So, yeah, so that's about mom.
Speaker 1:So the reason for this platform is my daughter-in-love came to me and said she had a little tickle and that she feels like this is something you know that the Lord had laid on her heart that she should express to me. And I was like no, no, no, that she should express to me. And I was like no, no, no, not me, anybody but me, I'm not going to do that. And she was like no, I think you could do it. And I was like, oh, okay, we'll see. And I thought about it. So it was eight months ago. So I kept pushing it off and pushing it off. I thought about it and I just didn't know what it would, what I would talk about. So she spoke to me and she encouraged me. And you know, for those of you who don't know, my husband and myself we do a marriage retreat. We have such a great time Hilarious, we laugh, we cry. It's amazing the ground that we cover. And some of the ladies from that retreat said you know you should do this and actually told my daughter-in-law you need to push her in the right direction. So that's how we landed up here. So one of the things, that that's how we landed. So shout out, you know, to the ladies just speaking with my daughters they encouraged me as well say, yeah, mom, you can do this. So, yeah, I want to just give a shout out to them as well. So thank you, guys so much.
Speaker 1:One of the things that I don't want to talk about on this platform is politics. I don't want to talk about politics, and my reason behind that is it's a lot of that going on already A lot of negative, a lot of politics, just too much. It's a lot of that going on already A lot of negative, a lot of positive, just too much. And I feel like we can have a space where we can just kind of talk, vent, if we need to just get some answers from one another. I don't have all the answers, don't claim to be. I'll pray and pray that the Lord gives me as many answers as I can, but I just want to be here to make suggestions and just to encourage you to, don't, you know, throw in the towel.
Speaker 1:Some of the topics that we will be discussing in this particular platform will be first of all, I want you to know that this platform is non-judgmental. However you feel is how you feel. Your opinion is your opinion. Nobody's going to point their finger at you. No one's going to shake their head at you. If someone puts something in the comments that I feel is inappropriate, I'm taking them out. I have my sound guy take them out. Either way they're coming out.
Speaker 1:We're not here for that. We're not here to spew negativity toward one another and telling people what they should do and if I was you, I would do this. No, we're not going to do that doing. If I was you, I would do this. No, we're not going to do that. We're going to come together as women and we're just going to have a little discussion about life. Life is hard. It's hard Either way you look at it. You can be in Christ, out of Christ, whatever. It's hard, but the focus of it is to stay rooted and grounded and know who you are.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to run a few of the questions that I send out a little text message and had some of my people hit me back with some of the things that they would like to discuss and if you're out there and there's some things that you would like to discuss, just please, you know, don't hesitate to let me know. Let me give a shout out to some of the people you know. Don't hesitate to let me know. Let me give a shout out to some of the people. Hey, mommy's on the line. Hi, mommy, thank you for joining us. Mommy Michelle is on the line. Cousin Melissa, natalie, my daughter-in-law. Hey, nikki and Jordan is here. Good evening. Thank you so much for joining me. I really really appreciate the support.
Speaker 1:Um, so some of the one of the questions that was sent out to me it was um, why what? I give a shout out. Okay, let me shout out to Melissa. Hey, cousin. I'm sorry, cousin, I thought I said your name, but I want to get special. Please tell Ty say hello, ok. So one of the questions was how long should you date before marriage? How do you not lose yourself in relationships? That's a good one right there.
Speaker 1:Why does it seem like the roles of men and women have changed? I don't know the answer to that. What value do you look for in a man when you're looking for marriage? I'm going to pause right there. I had a recent conversation with someone and I began to say to her I said you know, when you're looking for quality in a man, you want to look for a man that fears God. You really do, and I'm going to tell you why I say that If he fears God, he's going to do whatever he can to please God. You really do, and I'm going to tell you why I say that. If he fears God, he's going to do whatever he can to please God. He's going to make sure he don't have no bumps in the road when it comes down to his relationship with God. And when he fears God, he's not going to do anything to damage you, to break you apart, to hurt you, because he knows that he has to follow God, and that's not what God wants for us as wives, for any wife. So for that particular thing, definitely, if he fears God, if he fears God, he's going to respect, which means you will respect. If he fears God, he's going to lead, which means you don't have a problem leading. I mean following, I'm sorry following. You know, if he loves God, he's going to, he's going to lead, which means you don't have a problem leading. I mean following, I'm sorry, following. You know, if he loves God, he's going to be submissive, he's going to submit to you. You're going to have a problem being submissive to him Only if he follows God. And I used to tell Eric all the time you know, as long as you follow God, I'll follow you. But the second you start leaning to the left or to the right, I'm out. I'm out. I'm not going to hell with you. I'm not going to hell with you. So I used to tell him that you know, and not just to be, you know, I guess, blunt about it. We have to be in a unit where we're trying to reach a certain destiny and we can't reach it separated. We have to be able to reach it together. So that's you know. As far as marriage is concerned, that's what I would say. Only, definitely, if he's following God and he fears God, he's not going to do anything to damage you, and we know that a damaged woman, we can't move like we need to. We can't move how we should move, because we're so focused on the brokenness and what has happened and what has taken place that we can't move forward and even think about it. Even as a Christian woman, if my focus is on all the stuff that you're doing to me, I'm not focusing on God because I'm so busy trying to figure out how I'm going to get out of this nightmare. So I put God on hold because I got to figure out how I'm going to make sure the kids are taken care of and all of this other stuff. So you have to be careful, you know, when you choose. You know a mate and choose someone that don't know God. Because you know God and they don't, they don't know God. It's going to be hard for you to pull them to to know God, especially if they're the type of person that say I'm the man and I run this thing and I do this.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, be, be, be careful with that. Another question was what value does a man look for in a wife? I'm not a man so I really can't answer that question, but what I can give you is my opinion on what he looks for. I think a man looks for someone who he can build a future with, not his mom. He's not looking for someone to tell him what to do, how to do it way to do it way to go to do it. No, he's not looking for that. He's looking for a partner. And again, I'm not saying he has to be a Bible-thumping, holy Ghost-shouting, speaking in tongues. If he fears God this much, if he fears God, then he wants somebody that he can build a future with, somebody, he can pray with, somebody, that when the goings get tough, that we can get on our knees and we can pray together and we can get through this thing called life. You know, again, I can only go back to what I said in the beginning Life is hard. It's hard, you know. It's not always perfect, it's not, and it's not all. How do the kids say sunshine and skittles, or rainbows and skittles, but you got to go through some things so you'll be able to look back and say, oh man made it through that one, we made it through that one. So when the next thing comes, it don't look so challenging because you know you can make it through. You can make it through that. So not trying to be his mom, that's going to be the go-to he, he gonna. It's not not always what you bring into the table. What you bring into the table Some men, you know some some.
Speaker 1:I also said in this conversation that some men are intimidated by independent women. Mm-hmm, they are. They don't know how to say that they aren't, but some are. And my question is when that independent woman has been taken out of the trash and taking the kids to school, picking them up from aftercare, taking them to basketball players? She's taken on that role. I got to do this. So when he comes in, when he comes in, it's like now she got to start releasing those things.
Speaker 1:And it's hard to release those things when you've done them all the time, when you've been. This is your routine. You know summertime, you got to find where they're going to be while you work. It's been your routine. You've been doing it for years and it's hard to let go. But you can let go one step at a time. One step at a time, especially if he's showing that he is ready to take on the responsibility for it, and that include bonus kids when they come, you know, or your kids being his bonus kids. You know he's willing to take on the responsibility and be the man in a relationship and, slowly but surely, ladies, we can let our God down, just a little bit at a time, until you know, until we're comfortable enough to know that you know he could possibly be the one. And so, yeah, yeah, that that that would be, um, what he would want, not not anybody trying to be his mom. So I think that's very important. Um, and remember, you know, I'll also when, when, when.
Speaker 1:The do's and the don'ts of dating that was another one. Um, so, and I want you to remember, the do's and the don'ts of dating is, um, opposites attract. And I'm going to tell you something my husband computer technology all day, all night. Yeah, me, me, check my email, do a little tick tocking, maybe a little Facebook. That's it for me. I don't want to know how to put in a plug, I don't want to know how to add in this, I don't know how to add in that.
Speaker 1:I'm not. No, no, no, no, no, no, that's not for me. What we do have in common is the Lord and of course, you know, raising our children came along with the strategy that the Lord provided for us. But opposite different music, he's a diehard Prince fan. I can only take a measure of Prince After his Father's Day concert we were halfway through it, I was about ready to pull my hair out. I can only take a measure of that when I am a complete diehard Whitney Houston fan. Nita Baker, I like that, neil. So you know he'll listen to it now. And that's one thing we do we compromise, we compromise. I'm going to listen to his Father's Day concert. He's had it every year for 33 years, so I'm going to listen to it. I'm going to listen to it. I'm going to be right there in his corner make his favorite dessert. I'm going to do that. But when we're riding and going on our little Sunday drives, he let me listen to what I want to listen to. So we compromise. So that's something that I just kind of want to put in there.
Speaker 1:About opposites really do attract Do's and don'ts of dating. When single, I would say when you're single, be very particular about who you bring around your children. Yeah, you know, get to know them, get to know their, their, how they feel about children. Do really small, many introductions, many dates Do allow, if this is the one, do allow them to get to know your child on, I would say, basically on your terms, because at some point, as that child get older, they're going to want you to themselves and they'll put you in a situation where everyone comes along. They're going to want you to themselves and they'll put you in a situation where everyone comes along they're going to shoot them down because they don't want anybody to take their mommy or from them. They don't want that, so they'll make they'll. They'll make it difficult for you, um, to date. But remember this, and this is something that eric and I talked about a lot when the kids were growing up one day these kids gonna kids are going to go past me, and then where that's going to leave us, you know, and as a single parent, one day that kid is going to go and you don't want to be in your you know you don't want to be in your 60s trying to find true love because now your child is finally established.
Speaker 1:You know, set boundaries with your children when it comes down to you dating. You know, set boundaries with your children when it comes down to you dating. Let them know that you deserve to have some time to yourself and you deserve to have. You know I don't know if it's based upon the age of the child. You deserve to have a friend or if they're older, you deserve to have a romantic interest. You know, if you get older, you deserve as they get older, you deserve to have a man. You know, and this is the guy you like now. You know.
Speaker 1:But talk to your children, be open with your kids, and that's one thing that I really learned with my children is listening to them and just really talking to them and giving them the platform to open up and talk to me. One of my children had a situation right before we moved from Japan and I found out about it years later. I was so broken because she felt as if she couldn't talk to me about that particular issue because I was so wrapped up in, you know, getting moved and getting settled and getting back to the United States that it really broke my heart that she felt that she couldn't share that with me and that kind of broke me up, that kind of broke me up. So and I have a husband, so open the doors, make the platform available, communicate. Nothing is too, you know. Nothing is. There is nothing that your child should not be able to speak to you about. Now I have to tell you some of the things that my kids came and asked me about. I would die laughing and they would be like, well, mom, it's not funny. But that was my way of coping, like thinking while I'm laughing, like how am I going to answer this question without making them go ew, oh no, you know, and making sure that it was on their level.
Speaker 1:Every child has a stage that they go through. Every single child has a stage that they go through. So you have to meet them at their stages and answer their questions accordingly to their level of maturity, and it'll be easier if you go that route, by communicating with them and letting them know that you hear them and you understand where they're coming from, but also giving them a direct as to where you are at this particular time, in this situation. So I am going to go to the comments and I have some questions in here. I will have some statements in here.
Speaker 1:I'm going to start with Nikki, a man that fears God, is disciplined and has morals and values. Yes, my baby girl, they do, they really do. Hi, sexy girl. Melissa said we are a super blended family and while dating I didn't introduce Ty to my son until after six months. Hey, I mean six months. That would be based upon how your decision, and I think that's great. I remember when I was dating I didn't introduce my kids to who I was dating right away. I think I kind of felt like I'm dating him, he's not the one, so he don't really need to know. Know my kids. But then there were times when I were dating and I introduced my kids and it was not good, you know. So, yeah, hi, pastor Bar, how you doing Compromise is key.
Speaker 1:How you doing, um, compromise is key compromises. You know, in relationships, in any type of relationship, you have to compromise. You know, not all time. You don't have to bow down all the time, but it just come a time where you have to say you know what, um, I'm a foe right here. My girl used to say choose your battles, choose your battles. My girl used to say choose your battles, choose your battles. So sometimes you just have to choose your battle and be like you know what. I'm not going to deal with this right now. I'm just not going to deal with it. So you know, I don't know. Another thing that we will be discussing mom says you talk to me about everything. Yeah, some stuff you told me, pastor. I don't want to hear that right now, but I needed to know.
Speaker 1:I needed to know I remember going to my mom when I was about 12 saying mom, what a birth control. And she was like what Girl go sit down? Mind you, I had a Barbie doll in my hand when I asked her, but I had overheard my friends talking about their sisters was talking about it.
Speaker 1:So I wanted to know what they were. So, um, yeah, I would talk to her about anything. I wasn't shy to open up my mouth and ask about anything. I talked to my mom about sex. I talked to my mom about boyfriends. I talked to my mom about baptism. I talked to her about everything. I and I would just shoot it right out my mouth and no filter, just say, hey, what is this? And you know and I thank God that you know he gave me a mom that loved him and served him, so she was always trying to meet me where I was, and I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1:But back to compromise. Compromise is key. You know, we don't have to always bend and fold, but there are times when we have to choose what's going to benefit this situation right now. Is it going to be worth it or is it not? So we have to really think about those things. So those are just some of the topics that we're going to be talking about.
Speaker 1:One of my pet peeves and it is also absolutely sexy. Girl says compromise and should go both ways, and it is also absolutely Sexy. Girl says compromise. It should go both ways and it should. It should not always fall on one person, and I think you know, and I've always dated, so it's been very limited time where I've actually been single. I've always had a boyfriend or someone chasing after me and me slowing down enough for them to catch. So, yeah, so, but with Eric and I, it's always a balance. It's a balance. There's some things he has to compromise and some things I have to compromise too, and that goes with any relationship, With a relationship with parents, with siblings, cousins, grandparents. It's always going to be a moment where you may have to compromise and say, OK, you know, I can remember my grandmother making me and my aunt clean chitlins one day. We wanted to eat them, but we didn't want to clean them.
Speaker 1:And she was like well, if y'all don't clean them, I'm not cooking them. And we were like so I told my aunt. I said well, you go ahead. I tried to convince her to do all the work until finally my grandma was like no, no, no, no, no, this is how we're going to do this. You're going to do this bucket, you're going to do this bucket. So she kind of kept us in the kitchen and I had to bow down because if I wasn't going to do it, my mom was going to pop me anyway.
Speaker 1:I think the last time I got an actual belt on my bottom, I was 24 and married. She, she, I opened my mouth and said something really slick which I got from her, and she actually put a belt on me and I couldn't believe it. I was a married woman with children, but I deserve it. I deserved it. So, yeah, yeah, that part, yeah.
Speaker 1:So those are some of the things that we're going to be discussing and I keep I don't know why this keeps slipping my mind, but domestic violence is definitely going to be something that we talk about. I'm not a clinical therapist, but am a survivor and it's something that I I felt like. I feel like a lot of women that's in the church goes through it and people tell them, oh, just pray for him and oh, you know, he's going to get better. And that's something that I just cannot. I cannot stand on. I always say that you know, if the church is God's bride, god don't beat on us, he don't. So why would it be okay for a man to be his wife and he's holding a position as deacon or elder or bishop or anybody like that, and not just them? Domestic violence is all over the place. So I also want to make this a platform for people to come and share, and if you know they feel like they want to share what's going on with them, then we can just encourage and pray for them and pray with them. Yeah, so I see my mom says, yes, you have to choose your battles. And, pastor Bar, you are so true, that's right. No one is a doormat. You are not a doormat. I looked at it when I was in my little domestic violence situation. I was like I feel like a punching bag, like that. I don't know if it's ever last or ever, I don't know what they put on them punching bags, but I began to feel like that.
Speaker 1:And, ladies, we have to remember that our self-worth is worth more than having a man. Now, I know that Betty Wright say having a piece of man is better than having a man, and no, no, having a piece of man is better than having no man at all. I beg to differ. I beg to differ. I really not have you If I got to sit back as you beat on me.
Speaker 1:Another question was relationships. How do you not lose yourself in relationships? You have to know your birth. You really have to know your worth. And when I was in my thank you for that when I was in that domestic violence relationship, I didn't know my worth. I didn't know my worth because my abuser was telling me that I wasn't worth nothing.
Speaker 1:You're from the hood, you're this, you're that. Ain't nobody going to want you, you lucky. I want you. Yeah, know your worth in a relationship. You know, ladies I mean, I can only imagine being single how hard it must be. But you know, take yourself on trips. You know, love you.
Speaker 1:I tell you one thing A man loves to see a woman loving on herself. That's key, because if you're loving on you, you're loving on yourself. It's going to make it even easier for him to love you. You know, don't say why don't nobody want me. No, it's not that sometimes, when you're doing your thing and you're handling your business, you know it's me and I'll be like, okay, well, she's not going to date me, she's not going to date me, she's not going to date me.
Speaker 1:And I was also telling my daughter to date. I said, you know, when I was coming up, the guys that I thought was cute, they never would approach me and I couldn't understand, like, why they didn't approach me. I was like, you know, maybe I'm just ugly, but the guys that was so pleasing to the eye would be knocking at the door hey, it's Patsy, and I'll be like, oh boy, you know. So those guys are really bold and they, you know, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna just go talk to her, I'm just gonna go talk to her. Hey, miss Burke, can I see Patsy? Or whatever. But you know it was mostly, you know, the older guys. And as I got older and, of course, married, now I get that, oh, I couldn't approach you because you was there. Oh, that's okay, because I'm married now.
Speaker 1:I got a ring on it. But now it's like no, that was it. And sometimes we feel like we're not attractive and that guys aren't looking at us. But really it's just, sometimes they're just a little bit intimidated and that's okay, that's okay. So Sexy Girl just said when you lose yourself, it's because you think if you this way or that way, the man will love you more and do. Can we give a hand clap for that one? That is awesome, right there, that is so, so true. You start standing.
Speaker 1:The young lady that I talked to today say I started losing myself because I'm trying to meet the need of what society say that I should be doing, and then I lose me in the process of it. I'm not happy, I'm not happy. Huh, you cannot lose yourself and you cannot transform yourself to be somebody else's it girl. You got to be your own it girl. You got to do that. And you know, I saw a step when someone said they just went on a cruise by themselves. And it's so funny because I'm a TikToker, I be on there a lot. I just saw a young lady just board a cruise ship by herself. She said I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know nobody on here, tiktoker, I'd be on there a lot. I just saw a young lady just board a cruise ship by herself. She said I don't know what I'm gonna do, I don't know nobody on here. But by the end of that cruise ship she had met some people. She had said she had a blast. You know, um melissa says uh, my mommy always taught us self-love, self-respect, self-worth, self-knowledge awesome lesson I pass on to my daughters and my sons. That is awesome. That is awesome. I that is awesome. I love that Because, at the end of the day, if you don't respect yourself, how do you expect somebody else to respect you? If you don't love you, how do you expect for somebody else to love you? And you have to show yourself that love.
Speaker 1:I used to work at this call center and I used to tell when I would go and sit in there I would turn around to my, my friend, cynthia. I would turn around to Cynthia and I'd be like girl. This morning when I looked in the mirror I said girl, you are looking good today, hello, gorgeous. And she'd be like you know what, get to work, put your phone on. But I had to do that. I was like like. You know what I had to. I had to love me. You know, in the process, I mind you, let's not. I wanted to.
Speaker 1:I have an awesome husband and he's always telling me I'm beautiful and, um, I'm sexy and you know all that stuff. And he, he always encourages me and and I love that. But I have to encourage me. I can't lose who I am because I'm a mom of six. I got a grandmother of 10, two great-grands. You know, um, out of all those, we got two boys, rest of them are girls. You know I can't lose myself as to who I am because of this legacy that's following, you know, that's following behind me. I have to know who I am and respecting yourself and loving yourself is going to be the ultimate key, you know, and you don't have to settle. You don't have to settle, but what you want to do, you want to pray. You want to pray that don't know crazy people coming your path. They don't have to settle, but what you want to do, you want to pray. You want to pray that don't know, crazy people come in your path.
Speaker 1:They don't come your way. You want to make sure that you know that God is in control of your destiny and your purpose. You know I don't know. You know who walks with the Lord and who doesn doesn't. But what I do know is, in the journey that I've been on, I came from a neighborhood where every other house was either a drug dealer or there was a crackhead. Every single one in this neighborhood. If your house and I hear you, if your house didn't sell drugs, the house next to your not the house next to that house there were crackheads in that house. I'm gonna even call them. There were people addicted to drugs. The house next to your, the house next to that house, there were crackheads in that house. I'm not even calling them. There were people addicted to drugs in that house. And then you had the house where people went to church. So you had, maybe out of full neighborhood, I want to say maybe 15 people that was church goers, and we had quite a few churches in our neighborhood that people had made in their homes.
Speaker 1:But coming from that to where I am today, who would have thought I didn't? I didn't. So you know you have to set your mind on where you want to go, where you're going to be, how you're going to end up. But I knew, if it wasn't for the grace of God on my life, I'm grateful that I was taken to church. I'm grateful that I learned to know the Lord for myself. You know, I'm grateful for my mom. You know as much as I didn't want to go. Sometimes she still said, oh no, you're going to church. Even if you came in at 2 o'clock in the morning from the club, you're going right to church and you're sitting right next to RJ where he's going to beat them drums like a maniac. You know you're going to go and I'm grateful. I'm grateful that she did and what she instilled in me.
Speaker 1:I took my kids and you know, I kind of did it a little different, you know, with my kids. Okay, now I'm going to make these kids go to Bible study, choir rehearsal. I little different, you know, with my kids. Okay, now I'm going to make these kids go to Bible study, choir rehearsal. I'm going to make them do this. But I did tell them that they had to sing in the choir. If I had to sing in the choir, they had to sing in the choir. And they alternated their Bible study nights and they stayed home with the baby, you know. But I have instilled in them that it's going to be God first At the end of the day.
Speaker 1:We can, we could talk about, you know, the role of a man and relationships and all this dating, but I promise you, ladies, if you put Jesus in the center of this, he will send you someone that will Worship the ground you walk on. You will come secondary to Christ and that's OK. That's OK. You know so, yeah. So, with that being said, know, so, yeah. So, with that being said, oh yeah, I'm almost done with this. Um, if you have any questions, if you want to chat them in the box and we can talk about it right, quick. Um, you, oh, somebody said all church men are not true men of God.
Speaker 1:That true, not all of them are. But when you find someone that fear God, if he can tell you out of his mouth that I'm not doing anything to disappoint my Lord and Savior, anything that's a good one, that's a good one, yeah, yeah. And likewise, and it goes vice versa, If a man found a woman, you know you're sold out. If you're sold out, if you're willing to walk with Christ and have. You know, have Christ walk with you. You're good to go and you're right, not all of them are.
Speaker 1:There was a situation growing up Well, my kids was growing up in church. We had a young lady in our church that cried all the time and we always thought she was under the Spirit, that the Spirit had fell upon her and and she was so holy and it was wonderful. Only to find out that there was trouble in her home and it wasn't in a good way. You know it was, it was, it was a violent way. So you know, and this particular person, he was one of the deacons in the church but nobody knew until later on. But yeah, that is so true. You just, you know.
Speaker 1:Moms say, you just have to be who you are and you know Christ will take you under his wing and he will. He will give you, he will give you the desires of your heart. And a lot of people get it mixed up when they say oh Lord, you can give me the desires of my heart. Well, when our desires line up with what he desired for us, then we get the desire of our heart. We have to line up with what he has in store for us and, honestly, when you give yourself to him, he will transform you to the desire that he wants for you and you'll be saying, oh, I didn't even realize I wanted this or I needed this, but I'm grateful and I thank God that I have. So, yeah, yeah, so, yeah, so, anyway, that's some of the topics that we'll be talking about. That's some of the topics that we'll be talking about. We'll be talking about so many different things, even as far as fashion and perfumes.
Speaker 1:No topic is off limit. The only thing that's off limit is politics, because it's enough of that going on, like I said before. So, if you have any questions or if you just want to call in and just maybe you have a question for me or maybe something that you just want to share, the number's on the screen 754-222-2219. I would love to hear from you. And, yeah, just give us a call in, let's see what's going on. And I just want to thank you guys again. You know I really really appreciate the audience.
Speaker 1:Um, again, like I said, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm new to this, so I'm hopefully it's going to get better as it goes along. Uh, I may end up having to have a guy actually come on and tell us exactly what it is that they're looking for in a wife. But I just feel like that was just my opinion from the outside, looking in and with the relationships and the values. Like someone also said, what should I value? And again I mean I don't. I'm not trying to Bible beat anybody, but God, he is the answer, he's the key. At the end of the day. You can jump, jump through hoops, you can jump through hoops, but you're going to come right back full circle If you're trying to. You know, serve the lord um.
Speaker 1:Another story that I can share, um the um. How eric and I um ended up together is um eric went to the military after the twins were well before the twins were born. And no, we broke up and I went to my mom when I found I was pregnant. When Eric and I broke up and I went to my mom and I'm crying, I'm like, oh my god, mom, I'm having, I was 20 and I was going to have another baby and I was like, oh my god, mom, what am I gonna do? What? What am I gonna do, crying to my mom like this is this is crazy. And um said you know, you just gotta let him go and I was like, okay, but you know, you gotta let him go and that was one of the hardest things to do.
Speaker 1:She say, if it's meant to be. She say it'll be. And I'm looking at her like, are you, are you mad, it'll be. And I'm looking at her like, are you, are you mad woman? I'm about to have a set of twins and and I have a four-year-old and I'm only 20, this, this, this was like I didn't think I was going to be able to ever get past that.
Speaker 1:And Eric went to the military and I went on about my business. I was like once, once those babies drop, I hit the club scene, business. I was like once, once those babies drop, I hit the club scene. I was doing what I was doing and having a good time. I worked, but on Friday and Saturday I was trying to be out, but Sunday morning mom made sure I was at church.
Speaker 1:So you know I did that and, um, just a full circle, eric and I ended up. I think the twins were three when we ended up back together. By the time the twins turned four, eric and I was married, and I said that to say this that sometimes you don't know the plans that God has for you and I honestly feel like, had we gotten married at that time, we probably would have divorced. But I think God set it up. He's so divine that he set it up where it would work out behind, when he was working behind the scenes. That's a good guy. He's always working behind the scenes and he was working behind the scenes and we ended up back together.
Speaker 2:This call may be recorded or transcribed.
Speaker 1:And we ended up married and now it's 33 years, so I am grateful for that. So there is someone there. It's someone for everyone. God has your path chosen for you. Don't go out If you go to the club to find a husband, where your husband going to want to go on Friday nights To the club, and not to say that if you find him in the church, he's going to want to go on Friday nights to the club, and not to say that if you find him in the church, he's going to always want to be in the church either. You just have to have a balance of what you're looking for and which direction God is guiding you. So, yeah, okay, I got a caller. Yay, go ahead caller. Hey, cousin Patsy, I'm a caller. Yay, go ahead, caller.
Speaker 2:Hey, Cousin Tati, I'm so proud of you. Hi, Cousin, hey Tati and everybody, hey, Tati and everybody. So look, girl, I'm calling in from New Orleans. I told my husband to say hi to everybody, but I just have to let you know I love you. You've always been a wonderful example for all of your younger cousins all of you. Even though you bullied us, you're a wonderful example. You turned out to be a wonderful woman with wonderful kids all of them and I'm just so proud of you. So, wishing you the best always, I love you and I just know this is going to be a wonderful, wonderful podcast, so keep doing your thing, Kevin, you know I love you girl.
Speaker 1:I love you too. Thank you so much. Thanks for calling. I don't have a question.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just. I don't have a question or anything. I just want you to know how proud I am and you know, just say hi to Cause I know she's on and just tell you I love you girl and you doing your thing. I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. Cause then I love you too. Thanks for calling in.
Speaker 2:Of course I'm still tuning in. Love everybody, love you too.
Speaker 1:Bye, cousin, all right, bye, bye, oh. Oh, that's so awesome. You know what I had? To bully them because they didn't listen. They didn't listen, so I had to give it to them but that's okay.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for calling in. You know I love you. This one's a real traveler here. I'm gonna be like her when I grow up, okay, well, if we don't have any more, if we don't have any more questions, we're just going to go ahead and wrap up and we'll be tuning in in two weeks. Let me see the date on that. Thank you so much for joining. I really appreciate that. Okay, so we're looking at.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is one thing. If you are interested, I was told that Monday is at the beginning of the week and people just really trying to get back into their mojos for the work week. If you guys would like to do this podcast on another day, the only day that I'm not available to do it will be Wednesday because it's Bible study night, but Thursday may be going into the weekend. Friday night is date night, so it would have to either be Monday, tuesday or Thursday. So hit me up in the chat box and let me know what works for you. If monday is good for you, monday is good for me. Um, until we get a marriage on podcast going up and if you haven't, if you know anyone there thank you so much for joining me.
Speaker 1:I really appreciate it like that's a good podcast um to watch so great ideas on um ideas and suggestions and make sure you like and share. Thank you.
