Marriage in Real Life
Marriage in Real Life
When Love Listens: 33 Years of Growing Together
Thirty-three years of marriage reveals truths that no honeymoon phase could ever predict. In this heartfelt conversation, Eric and Lady P pull back the curtain on their marriage journey, sharing the beautiful, challenging, and transformative moments that have shaped their relationship over three decades.
The couple discusses how their understanding of love has evolved beyond flowers and grand gestures to appreciate the profound intimacy found in everyday acts of service—keeping the gas tank full, helping with household chores, and simply showing up for each other. They vulnerably share stories of financial hardship, including times when they nearly faced homelessness or had to pawn precious jewelry to make ends meet. Yet through these challenges, their faith deepened as they witnessed provision arrive at their most desperate moments.
Forgiveness emerges as the cornerstone of their enduring relationship. As Lady P powerfully explains, true forgiveness isn't just saying the words but actually releasing the hurt—a lesson that transformed their ability to heal and move forward together. The couple also emphasizes the vital role of laughter, recounting water gun fights through their home and Sunday drives filled with uncontrollable joy that helped them maintain perspective during difficult seasons.
The episode takes an unexpected turn as they address a viral video promoting toxic relationship dynamics under the guise of spiritual "grace." Eric and Lady P offer a powerful counter-narrative, emphasizing that God never calls people to enable sin or endure abuse. Their passionate discussion reminds listeners that healthy marriages reflect Christ's love for the church—protective, nurturing, and never abusive.
Whether you're newly married, navigating relationship challenges, or simply seeking wisdom from those who've walked the long road of commitment, this episode offers both practical insights and spiritual encouragement for the journey. Connect with us on social media to share your own marriage experiences and insights as we continue building stronger relationships together.
Season 3 intro done by Carolena
Season 3 Outro done by Carolena
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Well, welcome to Marriage and Real Life.
Speaker 2:Welcome, welcome.
Speaker 1:All right. Thank you that you are with us, and you know you could have been doing something else, but you decided to join us and we are so glad of that, aren't you glad I am, I'm glad to be back.
Speaker 2:I am so happy to be back. I miss the audience. Yeah, you miss the audience Life started lifing a little bit more than usual and we got caught up in things, but I'm so grateful and so happy to be back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I am too.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna give another another hand clap hey um, if you're watching with us, we want you to, um, please like and share, like and share. Please make sure you like and share. If you have not subscribed, uh, our YouTube channel, please make sure you subscribe so you, and make sure you hit the bell notifications. You want to hit the bell notifications so you can make sure that whenever we go live no matter if it's a church service or whatever that you will get a notification that we are live. Please, let us know where you are watching from. Let us know where you are watching from. Well, we are back, for you know, we almost finished with season three.
Speaker 1:Yeah, almost All right, we almost finished with season three, so we need to bring that mic over or something, because you're not even speaking into it. Yeah, there we go, there we go, oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, there we go, there we go. Oh, yeah, yeah. So what'd you say? What you were saying?
Speaker 2:How many episodes we have left.
Speaker 1:We've only got one episode left.
Speaker 2:Oh, and we're in the roundup season three yeah.
Speaker 1:Yay, that's all right. Roundup season three so yeah, so, yeah so that was good.
Speaker 2:So what's been happening these last two weeks?
Speaker 1:what's been happening, oh my goodness, these last two weeks yeah, we did last three weeks really, because it's been a minute since we've been here. Um, um, I can know one thing is that, uh, we, uh, auntie missy, we had a good time in auntie yeah, to give a shout out to Missy.
Speaker 2:Yes, they celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary I host.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you did a good job. You did a great job, it was amazing.
Speaker 2:We had a wonderful time. It's like it's up there.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You did a great, great job and you did some centerpieces and everything like that.
Speaker 2:So yeah, great, great job, and you did some centerpieces and everything like that.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I'm very proud of you.
Speaker 2:You did very, you did very good, very good. I enjoy every moment of it.
Speaker 1:Oh, we danced too yeah we had a good time.
Speaker 2:We had a good time and the crazy thing about it is her anniversary is on the 26th of april and ours was the next day, right Right. So then I said to her I say, well, you know, my anniversary is going to be like at midnight. I'm going to have to leave up out of here and leave y'all in here partying, but we ended up shutting everything down right before midnight, yeah. And we actually got home right in time to say happy anniversary.
Speaker 1:All right, yeah, yeah, so, yeah. So we got that, you know. So we celebrated our anniversary, the following weekend the following weekend yeah.
Speaker 2:We went away and we had a great time. Yeah, we had a great time.
Speaker 1:Great time. We're going to talk a little bit about that tonight. I know I went to our granddaughter's graduation.
Speaker 2:Yes, one of the grandchildren graduated college.
Speaker 1:She got an AE in education. She did a heartfelt thing on Facebook about she just had a baby. As a matter of fact, she just celebrated her first. Mother's Day. And you know, she had a chance that she had to pay for the class and the teacher was saying, yeah, you got to pay. She said, no, I don't want to pay for it, you know. And so she finally said you know, I'm just going to pay this money and get my degree. And now she's getting ready to go to Berry University.
Speaker 2:The way to go Tierra the way to go.
Speaker 1:Tierra, the way to go. And a juicy, oh man, she.
Speaker 3:And a Juicy. Oh man, she's a genius. She's a genius, I told you guys.
Speaker 1:She's a genius. She's a genius.
Speaker 2:From the day she was born, I was like this kid is a genius. Juicy scored in the top 25% Something like that in the United States.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she did her thing Reading and and math, wasn't it?
Speaker 2:Was it science and math or reading and math? I thought she did her thing, Reading and math wasn't it? Was it science and math or reading and?
Speaker 1:math. I know she did it in reading, yeah, and she does science this week, so we'll see. Yeah, we'll see. Hey, wow, Wow, so we're so. So you know, so proud, so proud, so proud, you know. And yesterday was Mother's Day. Yesterday was. Mother's.
Speaker 2:Day and, let me tell you, the men really took care of us, ladies. I mean, we had this brunch. That was just simply amazing. We were being serenaded by saxophonists.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir it was amazing. We did, I thought Y'all did y'all things.
Speaker 2:Y'all set the bar really, really high. So we're going to have to figure something out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, y'all going to have to come with it.
Speaker 2:We're going to bring it.
Speaker 1:Y'all going to bring it.
Speaker 2:That's why y'all bought Chazza, because last year we set it high Okay so that's what we're doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we had a little saxophone player that was amazing you know, I love.
Speaker 2:Keenan. The food was amazing.
Speaker 1:We got your shrimp and grits. Baby, I had my shrimp and grits. Yes sir, yes sir, it was good, yes, sir. And then yesterday after service, you know, you had your steak and eggs. I did.
Speaker 2:After service Eric took me for steak and eggs and potatoes and I got to take a nap. I think I went to sleep at 2. I woke up at 7.
Speaker 1:7, yeah, a nap. I think I went to sleep at two.
Speaker 2:I woke up at seven, seven, yeah, at eight and went right, but I think, at most of the time, what we mothers want is just a little bit of peace, you know just the rest you know and uninterrupted dress. Yeah, yeah, I don't know if the cell phone went off.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I didn't hear it usually I take your phone, so you know. But this time hey. But you say, you don't know if it went off or not I don't, I was done, done, so kudos to you for that.
Speaker 2:So we just want to give a shout out to all the mothers all the mothers day, yeah give a shout out to all of the mothers.
Speaker 1:We we just want to say happy birthday.
Speaker 2:Especially when we feel unappreciated. You know we always go the extra mile, but you know what? Hang in there, ladies, you're doing an awesome job. Yeah, yeah. And keep doing what you do.
Speaker 1:That's it. That's it. Keep doing what you do. All right, so we're ready to get into. We're just going to talk about 33 years, years, you know, celebrating 33 years. Um, you know, I forgot to upload some pictures so, you know, those who who could, uh, see it visually, they would see the pictures, but we went up to fort pierce right and um. I planned everything.
Speaker 2:He did he planned everything? Air, airbnb, a little romantic thing on the beach that just blew my mind. Blew your mind, baby. Honestly, I was ready to just kind of lay down and just do nothing. You were like no, we're going to the beach.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, like okay, I just told you, hey, come on, you just got to follow me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I was like okay. When we got there it was all set up, yeah, and I was like, okay, when we got there it was all set up. It was so romantic with roses and chocolate-covered strawberries, a nice little tent right over the little ocean. It was so sweet. I really appreciate that. I really appreciate you taking the initiative to do it, because on the other side I was planning something. Right, right, right I was like okay, so we can do this and we can do that.
Speaker 2:And then when you told me you know we can't do that. I was like, well, I guess we'll just be laying around the house. I was thinking of a project or something.
Speaker 5:I could do.
Speaker 2:Because you know me and my projects. Yeah, I know you and your projects, so I was like you know what, maybe I'll do this, I'll take stuff out of my closet. You know I had plans, but you surprised me because I was like ready to have a cup of coffee and hit Netflix and he came in and said, hey, we're going to go out of town, Pack a bag. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, he had to say that twice. I said, oh OK, well, let me, let me get moving, because I'm like I'm ready to go Right right, right.
Speaker 1:I needed a, I needed a break yeah. Yeah, you needed a break. Yeah, you needed a break away, yeah, so I wanted to plan that.
Speaker 3:You know it was a good time it was a great time.
Speaker 1:It was a good time, so I wanted to make sure you know I love you baby.
Speaker 1:I know I love you 33 years and still got 33 more to go. All right Again, for those who are watching with us, we want to make sure you like and share. Like, like and share. Make sure you let us know where you are watching from, let us know that you are online and let us know where you are watching from, because we just want to give you a shout out while we're here, so we forgot to do our introductions. What, yeah, we forgot to do our introductions.
Speaker 2:And so yeah, we forgot to do our introductions. I'm Eric. I'm Lady P.
Speaker 1:All right, boss, lady, p, boss, lady, boss, lady, boss, Lady. All right, so can you believe it? Baby 33 years.
Speaker 2:I can believe it 33 years.
Speaker 1:I bet us being married is we are older being married than some of our listeners yeah yeah, you can say that, you know.
Speaker 1:Uh, you know I thank god. You know I thank god for our children. You know, yeah, all of them are doing it, and I mean even my oldest, you know oldest. Our oldest daughter is, you know, going back to school for RN, you know, and so I'm just so proud of you, know all about. You know one thing I, in these in the marriage time, I'm proud of all of our kids. I'm very proud of them and what they're um doing so, um, so, how, you know, let's, let's look at how, how we met. You remember that. You remember that. I know you done told the story so many times, you know. But you know what I want to tell a lot of times.
Speaker 2:I've told the story of how I said you were going to be my husband. I tell that story and I've told it quite a few times, but I don't, I can't quite remember exactly how we actually met up. I know it happened to be at church, but I can't remember if I approached you or you approached me. I'm not really sure you know. I can't remember either how that came about.
Speaker 1:You know I can't remember that either I can't remember Did you approach me or I approach you. You know I can't even remember. Or did you approach me or I approach you. You know I can't even remember. Because one thing, like you said, we kind of knew each other from the church. We knew of each other, but that was it. I think my grandfather's funeral, that was another, you know, bringing us closer, but you know us coming over on the weekend and then me staying, and you were even in the chorus, right? Yeah, he was in the chorus and I didn't even know.
Speaker 1:You was in the chorus in high school, in high school, yeah, I sang then with second soprano yeah, you did, you did, yeah, and so I'm not, because I you know that's so funny how that happened, that we don't remember that.
Speaker 2:But I remember the story of how you were going to be my husband.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Before I met you, before you met me, right, so that's kind of you know, that's kind of weird, but that's kind of how it went down.
Speaker 1:All right, hey Samson. We want to give Samson a shout out.
Speaker 2:Hey Harold.
Speaker 1:I know Harold watching, I know his mother is watching, so we want to give Ismetha a shout out as well. Yes, ismetha so, but you know I was a bad person, though I don't, I mean I would tell you this. Oftentimes, especially during our anniversary, I pray to God and I thank God that, because of some of the things that I did to you, um, while we were dating man, I just look back and say, lord, you know, she forgave me for that. It's almost like you, jesus, forgive me for my sins because you know, uh, me, uh. When I tell somebody, you know me. When I tell somebody, especially guys, when I talk to guys and you know, and tell them about how I was a dog, I remember the time that I brought my ex-wife, you know, to the picnic while you were pregnant, and that was bad, that was bad. So I thank God that you forgave me for that, you know I hope you forgave me.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, well, you know I have now, oh God, I'm, like you know, growing up. You know, I think when you're in a marriage, a lot of people think it's going to be like rainbows and daisies, you know, but you grow up in that marriage. You really do, if you are one to want it to work, because I can remember saying Wow. Go ahead Tell the story.
Speaker 1:I can remember saying Wow, go ahead, tell the story.
Speaker 2:I can remember saying yep, I'm married, and then I'm going to sweet with all his friends.
Speaker 1:Ooh, every single one of them. I can't even give you no claps on that.
Speaker 2:One Can't give you no claps on that one, that's what my mindset was Like okay, yeah, he did this to me you know, but okay yeah, he did this to me, you know, but I'm going to do a get back a payback.
Speaker 1:Right, right right.
Speaker 2:And I was thinking, yeah, this is what I'm going to do as soon as we get settled. You know, in my mind I'm thinking I don't know I was young and I wasn't really thinking.
Speaker 2:I was thinking more on the lines of revenge versus you know, making this thing work. You know making this thing work. But as we grew together, I really in looking for a church I think looking for a church for us and the girls to go to really made a difference to me made me say you know what. You know, if God brought us to this, god can bring us through this Right right so there was no need for me to do the get back or the payback.
Speaker 2:It was more or less like you know. I want to try and work this thing out and see where it goes.
Speaker 1:Right, right right.
Speaker 2:And in the process of not, in the process of not of just seeing where it is going, growing and developing a relationship with God and understanding the actual dynamic of the husband and of the wife, it made a difference. Here I am, I'm 24, and I'm, like literally, the mother of five children. Right, right.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I'm thinking like I'm still thinking like a kid, you know, but I'm also thinking like I got to grow up. But I'm also thinking I got to grow up. So I would say, in the process of being together over the 33 years, we have literally grown up together. Yes, you know. I used to tell the kids. Now I've never been a parent of a 16-year-old.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And you've never had a mom at my age, so we got to figure this thing out together. We can do this together, but we can't hold stuff behind each other back. We have to be open, we have to be honest, right, and I think that the process of being not just committed but being honest, right, right and vulnerable it made a difference.
Speaker 1:We want to welcome Malaika and John Russell to the conversation tonight.
Speaker 2:Hey Malaika.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:He is so right. Revenge is mine, says the Lord. You know, I guess you're right. You're right, Mr Russell. I just gave it to the Lord, honestly, I had no pattern. Right, I just gave it to the Lord, honestly, I had no pattern. Right, I had nothing to go off of. So most of the stuff that I learned about being a wife, I learned it through the word of God and I learned it through experience and things that you taught me, because your parents Right.
Speaker 2:Your mom you know what I'm saying, your sister, but a lot of the women in my family weren't married, so there was no blueprint. Right, right, so to speak Right. So that's where I was going with that. I was like, oh yeah, I'm going to get them. I'm going to get them Wow, wow, wow.
Speaker 1:So I mean, we moved, we moved.
Speaker 2:We moved.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we moved I don't know about four or five times while I was in the military and then we moved, you know, after we get there. So we, you know we live through moves, we live through ministry, we made it through ministry, thank God, yeah, because we often tell I mean, I often tell the story, man, that's, that was divorce time there. But thanks God for Bishop Banks.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And you know what I was doing. Again, it's like you say we were growing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were growing and learning, and you'll never know someone until you live with them. And then you still don't know them.
Speaker 2:You still learn stuff. I learn stuff about Eric every single day. As I do you, you know it's like I'll catch it and be like, hmm, okay, I get where you're coming from with that. But you know you just learn stuff and that's the foundation of the marriage. You know you learn what to say, when to say it, what not to say, right. You know when to let you know, let it go and let God. Right right.
Speaker 2:You know, and you have to be in that form of forgiveness, like you know. Okay, no, really forgive. Got to really forgive you know a friend of mine. God bless her soul, she. She is no longer here. Eric and I was going through some things before we left Japan and she asked me she said did you forgive him? And I said yeah, I think so. She say no, she say if you forgave him then you got to let that go.
Speaker 2:You can't forgive him and hold on to the hurt. You have to forgive and let go, because it's just going to make you bitter, it's just going to make you angry. And every little bitty thing, every little bitty thing that he says you're going to nitpick and this and that, next thing you know you'll be right down there in Manassas where you say you got married and now we're for a divorce and I was like wow, I say social forgiveness is so important.
Speaker 1:It is and that's a word for somebody today. You know, maybe somebody in their marriage, and they're holding on to, holding on to something that maybe happened and you, your spouse, talked about it and you have said that you forgive, but your actions don't show that you've forgiven, right, and I think that's a word. Uh, you know, from what you said tonight is that you know, like your friend said, if you truly forgive him, then you got to let it go. You know you got, you got to let it go because you know you got to let it go Because if you don't, like your friend said, it's going to sneak up and bitter and remind you, and it's not that it's not going to come back to remembrance, but we're Christian, based with the Holy Spirit. You know you can say get behind me, satan.
Speaker 2:We know that the enemy comes in like a flood and he hit us at our most vulnerable parts.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And that vulnerable part could be that part of unforgiveness.
Speaker 1:Correct.
Speaker 2:And just bring it right back to you. And I remember telling a young lady that you know if you're, if God has brought you two together, then this is worth the fight.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:This is worth the fight. Either you fight for it or did God really bring you together, right, right, did you bring yourself together? Because that's a whole different ballgame right there. Yes, if you did it, you know we don't know the plans that God has for us. And when we step in just like your rear said today, you said on Sunday when we try to shortcut God and go around and say, okay, god, I'm going to help you out a little, he don't need our help.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he don't.
Speaker 2:And the rear says what I have joined together Right Me, not Patsy, not Eric. You know what I, he says, have joined together and you know what I, he says, have joined together. And if he's joined it together, it is worth the fight. I'm telling you guys, it's worth the fight. Our reward is in heaven. But they have a good marriage. You know, not perfect marriage, but they have a marriage where you know you can go and you can be open and say, hey, this is how I'm feeling about this situation and and nobody's trying to say, well, you know I'm the head of the house and and no, no, no, no, no, we're helpmates. He put us beside you guys, not at your feet and not above your head. Right.
Speaker 2:Because he want us to think that we can rule over you. He didn't want you to think you can rule over us. He didn't want you to step on us. He didn't want us to step on you. He wanted us beside you. We could do it beside you. Right, we can do it beside you, you know.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so we got some people here. We got Peaches, hey, peach, hey Peach. We got Rob. Rob is there. Hey, we know Rob is there. We know Janelle is here, hey y'all. Hey, john Russell said true, forgiveness is very powerful. It is, it is.
Speaker 2:Because you have to really put in your concept that I'm going to forgive this person and I'm going to move on. That's hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially when somebody has really really hurt you. That is hard, dog walk you yeah.
Speaker 2:Cheating on you. Just, you know, really, just totally Don't be saying that People might think I cheated on you. Just totally disrespect the very essence of you and you trying to hold on, hold on, hold on, and you're fighting, you're fighting and you're in the ring all by yourself. Got nobody to tag you out. Got nobody to go down on their knees. When your knees are sore, you know. Yep, yep. So, yeah, so forgiveness is powerful, but it works, it works. It works it, does it, works it works.
Speaker 1:You know, I guess we had this definition of what love is or what love was when we got married, and we know that love changes over time, you know. So when we first got married, you know, I thought love was, you know, bringing you flowers all the time, or candy, or doing this. But now I know love is also keeping that gas tank full. It's more than flowers.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:It's more than flowers. Love is helping you. Fold the laundry, not the towels Not the towels, not the towels, but love is helping you fold the laundry, love is helping you wash the dishes, or love is cooking sometime. That to me is love more than the flowers and buying diamonds Also. Diamonds are good, diamonds are a girl best friend. But I would hope that doing the other little things show you how much I love you and that's you know. Know, that's what I think.
Speaker 2:True love is right yeah, I agree with you on that. It's like a, you know it's a balance yeah, it's about you know you, you. You see something that needs to be done, do it, don't wait. You know, if I see something need to be done, I'll do it.
Speaker 1:I'll take out the trash, don't have a problem with that I mean when you last time you took out the trash yesterday okay on mother's day, I give you a clap on mother's day that you took out the trash but I don't have a problem doing that.
Speaker 2:I don't have a problem putting gas in my car.
Speaker 1:You don't want me to I would have to be very, very, you know down.
Speaker 2:They listen here. The light is on I'm about to get some gas and you'll say we'll only put about five dollars in there to get you home. So yeah, but yeah, I think it's give and take. I think, in order for it, like I say, in order for the unit to, to, to be balanced together, you, you have to make it, you have to join forces.
Speaker 1:Right right.
Speaker 2:To make it good. So I totally agree with that and it's more than you know a lot of people get the misconception of is just this little white picket fence, and the cat dog and the three and a half children are high over there. Three and a half, but it's so much more that you have to put into it, and when you're first starting off, it's wonderful.
Speaker 2:You know you're in the early stages and you're getting to know each other, so you know. That's key right there. But you don't know each other until you know each other. That's right.
Speaker 1:And that's why I say love, listens right right, you know, uh, yeah what, what? It was after easter that I preached a message.
Speaker 1:What love got to do with it you know, and I was going through, really, um, first corinthians 13, uh, you know about, love is action. Yeah, right, love is is not. Is not a knot, it's action. So it's something that we should be continually doing to show our spouse that we love them. I mean, look, jesus constantly forgives us, you know. He just don't do it one time, he does it all the time, so he shows how much he loves us. So we have to show our spouse in little ways, you know, um and again it goes back to what you said earlier, it's not that I'm the man and you got to do everything I say and all this kind of stuff, that toxic masculinity that's. You know that's going around, um, that even some men want to want to take a women's votes, even now votes even now, right, it's not.
Speaker 1:It's not all about that. It's. It's all about working together to achieve a common goal. You know that you have a vision and both of y'all sit down and let's work together to make this thing happen. And that's what love is right. That's that's what you know. As you said, love forgives, love listen and um, you know, we don't get. We don't get love right all the time. No, we don't.
Speaker 2:The love does not hold the grudge.
Speaker 1:The love doesn't hold the grudge, and that's why we keep practicing that. That's why, we keep practicing, yeah, we keep practicing love man, because, uh, we just can't get it right all the time. All right, so you know what about the hard years? Now we've had some hard years, man. We've had homeless, almost homelessness, yeah, you know, um, you know, we had the man. One of the saddest parts of of of our marriage was one of the times that we had to pawn jewelry. Man, that thing hurt me, boy, boy, I tell you.
Speaker 2:It was time when money was tight.
Speaker 1:now, yeah, that's when money was tight, man. I mean, you know, even growing up, it was some things that we wanted to do for the kids that we couldn't do, and I think we were talking about it just this year, you know, with the twins. You know that we couldn't give them the proper, what we thought was the proper prom, graduation, you know, um, because money was tight, everything, everything was tight. But God, you know, god brought us through, um, but we had some hard years, and so some people may look at us now and say, whoa man, I want that.
Speaker 1:and I would tell people, no, you don't you, because that mean you would have to go through the hard times that we got through in order to get what we have and I, I don't know that and so but I, I thank god that every time we thought we were, you know, we was homeless, there was a check in the mail, jesus, right. Every time we thought there was no food, there was a check in the mail, right, um. And so that shows god's faithfulness, you know, to us. And so that's why, you know, I just thank god all the time and I praise him and I worship him, because I look back over my life, I look back over our marriage, and I see how faithful he's been to us, how faithful he's been to our family, and and I could just, that's why I gave him praise. Yeah, you know, we prayed. You know you remember the time when we went down, we went down to Miami. Right, I'm a, I'm a veteran.
Speaker 1:We went down to Miami to get help to get help Right and they tell you and they ask you.
Speaker 2:they separated us yeah.
Speaker 1:They separate us Right, they separate us. Yeah, they separate us right, they separate us. And they say to you you know, they ask me the questions. You know, are you suicidal? Are you an alcoholic? No, I ain't all that, I just come to get out. But they ask you the same questions.
Speaker 2:They ask me say you know, is he on drugs? Because if he's on drugs we can get him some help. Let me tell you, we was in a place where we needed help. I almost said yeah, he on drugs, he's in crack. But, I was like no no. That's the only way we can get help. Yeah, and I was a veteran, it's for my husband to be on drugs and he's a vet, you know, and that's what they were saying.
Speaker 1:but you know, um, that was great because we got up early in the morning to go down down to miami yes, you know that, and it was like when we we left there like wow, you know this, this is not good, but god was still faithful in all of that yes, he was he was still faithful in that and and so I just.
Speaker 1:You know we've been through some hard times and I just want to encourage I think we want to encourage any couple that's going through, but maybe it's your season, now that you know, to go through that. But don't believe the lie that you know that it's over. Don't believe the lie that your marriage is over. Don't believe that you're done. Just put your trust in God and he will work it out. He will work it out. He is faithful. He is faithful. That's why we have to be faithful to him in the lean times. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Right, because we go through things and we want to see, you know, a lot of times, people, when they're going oh God, when they're going through things, the first thing, they do is stop coming to church.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, you know, folks just don't want to be around in church, People talking about well, you know, God got it all in control Because when you're going through you're in a state. You know what I'm just saying, Hear me out.
Speaker 1:Okay, let me hear you out.
Speaker 2:When you're going through, you're in a state and you, like, you don't want to hear, although you know what God is able to do, you know and you know his works. You just don't want to hear that right now, at that moment, and I think that's why people say you know what, I'm just not going to go to church. I ain't blessed and highly favored right now. They just want to be there. Me, on the other hand, I find no better place to be than to be there.
Speaker 2:Because if I'm not there, that word that was going to be preached, I miss that, that word of encouragement. I miss that because I'm home in my pajamas watching it on TV Watching online service. You know, I miss that because sometimes it helps to gather together with the saints, with the same believers, the same ones who know that God will never leave you or forsake you, those same people that is trusting in the same God you trusting in. I want to be in the midst of that.
Speaker 1:You know, oftentimes people don't. People don't understand. They think they're the only one going through something. You know what I'm saying. So they stay at home and say, well, nobody's not going to understand. And, like you said, they say, you know, I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it. Well, you're not the only one that don't want to hear it, you know. Even sometimes, even when you things are all right, you still don't want to hear where God is going to work it out. God is going to work it out, but that is what you need to hear. You need to hear that God is going to work it out. And look, when you go in there. You don't have to go. This is one thing you got to understand. You don't have to go to your church where everybody knows your business. You can pray and go to a church where nobody knows your business and you can sit there and get a word.
Speaker 1:Again, the first thing people want to do, they want to stop going to church and stop being around people. And you just can't do that because you'll get depressed, life will depress you. So you need to be around people. There's statistics out there say the more times you're around people, the longer you live. When you try to do this thing alone, when you try to as a married couple and you try to do this thing alone, when you try to as a married couple and you try to do it alone, you try to be hidden from everybody, you try to just do things by yourself as a couple and you're not reaching out to your mentor or people to pray with you. You will mess up. You will mess up. So I would say just you know, you know, go to church, call your mentor, you know, and say hey, let's pray through this thing.
Speaker 2:And it's very important to have someone that you could call as a couple.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Another couple that believes in the same God that you believe in.
Speaker 1:That's right, that's right.
Speaker 2:Trust the same God, Because sometimes you just you know what I got to talk to somebody, yeah.
Speaker 1:At this point, you know I gotta talk to somebody at this point.
Speaker 2:You know I'm about to lose it all. You know right right there are times when I get overwhelmed with I just get overwhelmed. I'll be like I need a break, I need to step back. You know I, I need to talk to somebody, or you know? Or every time we're on this I always say I need to call my therapist. I haven't called that lady in two years.
Speaker 1:You better get on it.
Speaker 2:Whenever I you know what God is. The Holy Spirit, thank you. Whenever I say I need to talk to her, the Lord intervenes and I'm like bounce that, like none of that ever happened. I move forward. So then it's like okay, so now I don't have to call her Right right.
Speaker 2:But, um, somebody, talk to someone you know, someone that you can trust and don't share your if, if your business is around the church, you didn't share it with the wrong person in that church. Always lean on the Lord to direct you to someone that's going to keep your business to themselves. Your business is going to be between you, them and the Lord, and that's it, that's it yeah. Because if it's going around the church somebody I said something. Somebody done spread your business and that's not a good look for the body of Christ.
Speaker 1:No, Teron M says Pastor Eric, your wife is beautiful oh.
Speaker 1:Thank you says pastor eric, your wife is beautiful. Thank you, yes, yes, welcome, welcome, welcome, um, you know, please help us create more programming. You can um zelle at marriage in real life, at real life, sflchurch. Or you can do cash app at dollar sign mirror, a marriage in real life, um, you can also go down there to where the money sign, um symbol, is, and you can go a super chat and um, you know, uh, you can just, you know, put in whatever you want to put in, uh, and and, and you could pin how you know you do the super chat. You can say it'll last up, uh, you know, five minutes, two minutes, and it'll stay up there. And we will have to, we must, we must, uh, acknowledge the super, uh, super chats. All right, and so, um, one of the best things that we kept in our marriage is laughter.
Speaker 1:What are the best things we usually up? It, you know, is and I mean we laugh all the time, all the time you still crack me up. I still crack you up, baby, let me tell you, today he called me oh. Lord.
Speaker 2:I was laughing so hard. My teachers started laughing because they thought they was like oh my God, whatever is happening is so funny. You know, he called me and he was telling me what was going on with him and I was like okay, I'll call you back. Well, I got busy and I didn't call him back. He called me back, I said hello.
Speaker 2:He said, babe, you said you was going to call me back. I said, oh yeah. I said, well, you know, I was consoling someone which I was not consoling. I was well, you know, I was consoling someone which I was not consoling, I was just, you know, hearing her out, you know, being supportive in the situation that she was dealing with at the moment. And so, finally, I had to be honest and I say well, you know what I really. I forgot. I forgot to call you back.
Speaker 2:He went on to share his issue with me and while he was sharing me, I was laughing. He was getting mad because he was like it's not funny with me and while he was sharing me.
Speaker 2:I was laughing, he was getting mad because he was like it's not funny and I was like I understand, I understand, but just to see him need me like that, I felt so needed and I apologize a million times. I'm so sorry, babe, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it, but I felt needed and you know, like when the kids grow up and all of us are growing up and gone, Right.
Speaker 2:You know they don't need me as much. You know, when I get a call saying, hey, mom, what you doing? You got a moment. I know they need me and it feels so good to be needed. But I wasn't laughing at you, I was just intrigued by the fact that you actually needed me and you needed my undivided attention in the middle of the day, which you never do Right right. And I forgot to call you back, so my apologies.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm glad you apologized and I give you a hand clap for that.
Speaker 2:But we do laugh all the time. Yeah, you know, and I can remember just a whole family. We all laughed together. Right. We used to do water gun fights in the house. Yes, yes, yes, the house would be slipping and sliding up and down the stairs just laughing and carrying on meeting each other outside with the gun on the ground. You pick it up almost soak it yeah, soak it yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:So we've always tried to keep laughter in the house, you know. You know we had our moments when it wasn't, but we always bought God back in the center of it, which would bring back that joy and that peace, you know, to the home. So definitely enjoyed that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely. I mean the times that crack me up. Sometimes we'd be on our Sunday rides and that man, when we'd be cracking up, laughing, that boy that gets me boy, we'd just be laughing and laughing. I mean, sometimes, you know, I'd be laughing so hard that I don't even know how to drive, so you got to keep laughter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you have to keep laughter Even in the bad times. You, if you want to last, if you want to last 33 years and more, you got to be able to laugh. And now we can laugh at the bad times, right, and because and I know it's hard to laugh when you're going through it, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and then, if you can catch hold to God, you can say man, this thing here, you know, I remember elder hurdle, um, when we were, we were in Okinawa and he was, he was driving his car up to new covenant and he's, and he was trying to get there, trying to get there, and he, he gave this testimony. He said he had to pull over to the side because his alternator not alternator, but his radiator started messing up. I remember that, right. And he said he just got out the car and just started laughing and said this is all you got, devil, you know, because he was trying to get that to church.
Speaker 1:And we were like you know again, we were like where you at, because he was a musician or whatever. And he said this is all you got, you know, come on now, you got to give me something more. And he began to laugh at the situation, you know, and sometimes that's what we got to do. When we know that the enemy is trying to divide our marriage, right, and we recognize that he is trying to do that, we just got to laugh at him and say, no, this ain't going to happen. You know, you trying to crack a joke, like you. You know, this is a joke, come on now, right. And so we got to keep laughter.
Speaker 2:Definitely In the marriage and encourage others to laugh. Yeah, we have a couple that were going through some things and very early in the marriage and we were counseling and then we hung up the phone and we laughed. We said, oh boy, they think that's something that ain't nothing. Nothing right, right, they're going to look back and they're going to laugh at this. They're going to be like do you remember that time? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:You know? Do you remember that? Yeah, and so you know it's like it may be rough now, but if you sit back and allow, the enemy to laugh at your situation. He's going to be more than happy to get right in the middle right of the situation. Yeah, and it won't be no completion, no, you'll be walking away. You'll be like I'm done with this, throwing your hands up, you know, but that's why it's so important for God to be the center.
Speaker 1:It's very important.
Speaker 2:What I'm doing again.
Speaker 1:Let no man put his hand up. That's right. So you know before we get into the video.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, the video, because you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we want to really talk about that. You know I sent it out. When I see that video, I tell you you know, yeah, we want to get, we want to really talk about that. You know I sent it out. As man I see in that video, I tell you, you know, we, you know, we want to say thank you to everybody who has stood with us. Again, we want to thank our kids. Give a shout out to all of our kids.
Speaker 1:Richest clan, richest clan's, our little tribe yep, that is our little tribe to the, you know, to our grands, and now we got great grands. So we just thank you know, thank you know, thank them for just sticking around with us yeah right they helped us grow up, they helped us grow up, they helped us get to 33. They did you know, they did, they worked it without, couldn't did it without, couldn't did it without our kids. We thank god for our church, church family. Uh. We thank you for our marriage, retreat family. Yeah, yeah, you know we need them y'all.
Speaker 1:Keep us grounded yes, uh, because know, sometimes, because of us being in a leadership role, it forces us to pray more, pray more. Study more. Yep, and it forces us to say, okay, we need to talk more and get this thing, because, again, when you're in a leadership role, you know that people are watching you.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Right, leadership role. You know that people are watching you, right, right, and so people. You don't want people to say, well, if they didn't make it, I don't know how I'm gonna make it. Right, you know, because they're the ones that's supposed to be teaching us, they're the ones that's supposed to be went through and all of this and all of that, and if they didn't make it, then some people will say, well, how am I going to make it? You know, and so that's why it forces us to, you know, to to laugh in order to make sure that we stay together. We're still together, right? Hey, nikki, how you doing? Give a shout out to Nikki.
Speaker 2:I know my grandbabies watching too, too. So Juicy is so tall, she's growing up.
Speaker 1:Juicy is so tall, she's beautiful, yeah, she's beautiful, man she's, and she's so tall, and so I thank God for that. You know, even though you know we saw Sugar Mama and them, you know, you know they look all they're just growing up.
Speaker 2:They're just growing all up, man, so we thank god I have to say it's made the picture of sugar mama. She gonna be like oh my goodness yeah yeah, yeah because you, you know she was around when she used to be with us a lot yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah she gonna be like? Is that sugar mama in lipstick? Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's, that's, that's, that's what's going to be said. All right, so we thank God for each and every one of you. All right, so we're going to get into this video.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:We got anything else.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, we do have a few that watch us on the podcast. Um, there's, um. This is from Melissa in Texas and she says that after 20 years of marriage that her and her husband make it a point to say I love you, even on the hard days and I thought that was you know, on the hard days is the hardest time to say I love you, you know, and mean it. I'll be like yeah, yeah, yeah, I, yeah, I love you, but no, those are the hard days. And then we also have Troy in North Carolina say they have a rule thank you for listening, troy and Melissa they have a rule where they have no arguing before coffee. Now, that's important because before that coffee it could take you in a different direction.
Speaker 2:We also have one, and this one is really dear to our heart. It's Janelle from Maryland and she said our podcast had helped save her marriage. And she says thank you for being honest. And, like you know, if that can reach one person, then our job is done. We're here to help save marriages, to help build marriages, to help people grow in marriage. So I just want to say I give a shout out to them and tell them thank you so much for tuning in to the podcast or wherever you're getting it from, if you're listening or if you're actually watching. We appreciate you as an audience and thank you so much for joining with us, because we are truly just here to try and keep the community community of marriage and family together as a whole. So we thank you so much for um tuning in to us thank you for joining real life.
Speaker 1:Real life issues hey, we getting it together alright, so here's the video you ready for it? Well, you know this was a. This was a viral video. Yeah, this was a viral video. Yeah, this was a viral video and it went around. It was just I couldn't understand it. You know I couldn't understand it, but I don't know. What do you want to prep them to?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I just kind of want to hear both sides of this. I want to hear, I want to prep them to Well. You know, I just kind of want to hear both sides of this. I want to hear, I want to be listening to it. I want to hear from the ladies and I want to hear from the guys. If you want to type it in or call in, yeah. Let's just go ahead and roll it. I'm pretty sure pretty much everybody's seen it, you think so?
Speaker 2:I don't know how they couldn't have, it was everywhere.
Speaker 1:All right, here we go, here we go.
Speaker 4:I had a radical heart shift from that moment. I got in my word under my word. I just completely changed as a person and I realized that God loves me, that God has a purpose and plan for my life, that God chose me, that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made so he would call me out my name, it wouldn't bother me because I allowed God's voice to be louder than his. And when I was going through transition of him not coming home on the weekends, not being there, telling me I hate you, I'll never love you, I wish I never married you.
Speaker 4:I knew that life and death is in the power of the tongue through the word of God. So I would say you will marriage one day. And although he would go out for weekends, I would literally help him get ready to go meet a side chick by ironing his clothes and getting them ready for the night. And these are all things I was graced to do. I would not encourage anybody to do that, unless you are graced by God to do this. But once I knew who I was, I realized that's it.
Speaker 1:That's it. I don't know if I want to give a shout out. I don't know what I want to do with that. Let me ask you this when you first heard this, when you first heard that video and we can play it again when you first heard that video, what was your initial reaction when you first heard it?
Speaker 2:I guess I was like what Grace by God to do? What Grace by God to do? What Grace by God to fix his clothes and iron his clothes so he can go be with another woman.
Speaker 1:Oh Jesus.
Speaker 2:Grace by God to be treated like trash. I honestly felt like this man couldn't have loved this woman. I literally went and watched the full clip and he even said that she wasn't his preference, but she said she was graced by God to do all this stuff.
Speaker 1:So you know, I want to ask a question to all, especially to all of the women that's there, especially to all of the women that's on there how many of you all believe that you are graced by God to iron your man's clothes and do all that stuff, as you said, in order to put him to go and sleep with somebody else? If that's you, you chime in. You know it's type of no or yes.
Speaker 2:I can't type what I want to type in here. No, I'll be graced by God to go to prison, because I will not be your second choice, I will not be your afterthought, and God didn't create me for that, you know. And now, now they're. Now they're in, now they're in ministry and he's a pastor. But they had been going back and forth through so many different stages in life where they were brought together. But she wasn't his first choice. And not only that, when he, when he did choose her, he continued to cheat on her.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, wow. Well, we got some in here. Samson answered. He was like bruh, you know. Like I said, I don't know if I have this grace, all right.
Speaker 2:I don't even think I want that kind of grace.
Speaker 1:Oh geez, izzy just put a little confused face up there. All right, he just said no ma'am, no ma'am, but, like I said, those clothes will be on fire.
Speaker 2:You know what, if I would have did it, boy, I would have put some itching powder in there by the time he finished scratching. Scratching his doodads would be good, and red, don't touch me no.
Speaker 1:Yes, so, so, so it says so. God gave her grace to allow this man to sin. Please leave God out of this. This was her insecurity speaking.
Speaker 2:I agree with you. My sister let me take some claps up in here she wanted him so bad. She was desperate, more or less like having a piece of man is better than having no man at all. So I'm going to take what I can take what I got and work with it. No, ma'am, be gone, be gone. I was. I was disgusted, but but I was speaking to Nick and Nick was like mom, did you see it? I saw a few clips. I was. She was like mom, go watch the whole thing. I went and watched it and it's on YouTube and it's on some Finding your Wife podcast or something like that.
Speaker 1:Wifey I forgot. He has a major platform. He has a major platform.
Speaker 2:And it's something about Finding your Wifey or something. But then, not only that, another one came right in behind this one and did the same. This was a younger couple and did the same thing. He said, no, she wasn't my preference, but she my everything. Now, no, you're not going to tell somebody that I'm not your preference After 33 years, I'm not your preference. If I'm not your preference, you don't have one Izzy.
Speaker 1:I agree Not all the time that you need to share something as leaders. You know you hear people say you know the young people want you to be transparent. They want you to be transparent, but there's some things that you need to keep to yourself because you will. You don't want to be transparent on everything, right? It's no way that I as a person, uh, would say God gave me the grace to allow my wife to sin. That doesn't even make sense.
Speaker 2:It doesn't.
Speaker 1:What kind of God you serve, that he would give you grace in order to for somebody, when the scripture says he don't tempt us to sin he don't tempt us to sin. We may go through tribulation, but God does not tempt us to sin. So how in the world can you say that God gave you grace to allow somebody else to sin? That?
Speaker 2:doesn't make any kind of sense. That means you're part of that.
Speaker 1:Of course You're part of that, and you as a leader and as a preacher, right. So now you're a pastor of a church, so that means you're not gonna even preach sin.
Speaker 2:You're not gonna preach against sin, because god's giving you the grace to allow your congregation to sin and not only that, after listening to a few members from the church say, on any given sunday, he'll say something like this about the same situation and she'll sit there with a smile on her face no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She said she went to some of the elder ladies in the church and they was like girl, you know, you just gotta pray for your husband, he gonna get it right. You know he's gonna be a pastor someday and I am so over that. I am so over that, oh, you can't get a divorce because of this. You can't get a divorce, but because of that you can't get a divorce. Because of that.
Speaker 2:God does not expect for us to be stupid and have no common sense. If this man is not treating you as Christ treat the church, then you need to bounce, because your self-worth and your peace is way more important than his ego. Peace is way more important than his ego. So if you feel like you're in a situation like that, take it to the Lord.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes Take it to the Lord. All right, we got. Peter says do not deal with the treachery of the wife of your youth. He said again no man.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. That's my baby girl right here.
Speaker 1:I used to say she did like you. She says I watched the entire interview. This woman knew this man did not want her. He settled for her because he knew he could manipulate her, have his cake and eat it too.
Speaker 2:She gracefully gave it to him.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:Desperation. That's it you deserve better.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. I don't want my daughter selling for nobody. I don't want, you know, that's no, uh-uh, no man, no, no man shouldn't be doing you like that. No man should be doing you like that, and even vice versa. You know, no woman should be doing a man like that. I just, again it made me cringe, as a lot of people, because you, as a leader of a church, is saying these things and again, sometimes we have to keep things to ourselves. If god gave you the grace for that, you should pray and say you know, should I say this? No, god would say no, don't say it. He was. Speak to you. No, don't say it, he was. He'd speak to you and say, no, don't say that, you idiot.
Speaker 2:You know, are you kidding me? Yeah, and even if she did forgive him and even if he's this upstanding guy right now, like you said, she gave him everything that he wanted, Everything that he, he, he, she gave it to him for years. So you know, that was kind of. And after the second couple that I saw, I said you know what, I can't watch this guy Because if the tables were turned and the wife was coming out and the wife was cheating, will he wash and iron her clothes so she can go hang out with that guy? I doubt it?
Speaker 1:I doubt it.
Speaker 2:He wouldn't.
Speaker 1:You know how men are. He would not, you know how men are.
Speaker 2:He would not. You think he's going to be like babe, you should wear that red dress and put on them high heels. You know you're going to see Tommy tonight, no.
Speaker 1:You know, and the thing because Jordan said isn't adultery one of the things you can get a divorce for? Yes, it is. Yes.
Speaker 1:And you know, and this is the thing she did this weekends, you know, she knowing, Knew he was going to spend the weekend with these women. And not to get. How can I say this Because I know you too. I don't want you to take this down. You mean to tell me this woman was satisfied knowing that this man was out kissing somebody else and doing God knows what. Then come back to her and kiss her and do come on, man Well no, she had babies in between all of that.
Speaker 1:Oh man, come on man, come on man, uh-uh, no, uh-uh.
Speaker 2:We just have to be really really careful.
Speaker 1:Paul said this. Paul says there was a thorn in my side and God gave me the grace to handle that thorn Right. That was not a thorn, that was completely sin. That God. Yes, she contributed. Yes, sir, yes, sir. Okay, malaika says bring along is. I guess being alone is not this bad, at least for me. I spend time loving myself instead, all right, Absolutely, absolutely. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:It took me a long time to learn to love myself, because I jumped ahead of the game and started having babies at a very young age and I was always trying to figure out, make sure my kids had what they needed, and I was always second to that, you know. But I realized you know as they were getting older that if I don't, if I don't learn to enjoy my own company, if I don't learn to enjoy my own peace Like you know, just go hang out by myself If I can't learn to be with me, how can I give the best of me to him now that the kids are gone? So I had to learn how to accept my own self and enjoy my own space and my own company, cause you know, I'll hop in the car and go ride in a heartbeat.
Speaker 1:Hey look, we got about five minutes. If you want to call in, 754-222-2219. Again, 754-222-2219. If you want to call in and kind of like you know, tell us your deal, how you really feel, I think we know how they really feel. I'm telling you. You know, but just to hear it, I know because sometimes typing is it. But if you want to call in, you can do that.
Speaker 2:Well you know, next time there's this guy that be on TikTok every single day.
Speaker 1:The name of this podcast is Dear Future Wifey.
Speaker 2:Oh, Dear Future Wifey. That's it, and he's always on there talking about divorce. Mm-hmm. I don't know why he's on there talking about divorce, but I always skip over it. Every now and then I'll hear somebody say well, you can't get a divorce if this and you can't get a divorce if that.
Speaker 1:You know abuse comes in many forms other than physical. Izzy, call on in me. I want to hear you I know you're right.
Speaker 2:I know you're right. It got me, so I was. I said I was like eric, I send it to him. But the crazy thing about it is nikki came about it, uh-huh and she asked me and she asked me and I was like what? And she was like you got to go listen to the whole thing, and the worst part about it is young adults like them that are coming up. This is what this man is spewing out. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:That you let these men treat you any kind of way. It's okay because he going to be a pastor one day. If he make it to be a pastor, don't stick around to the point where somebody have you spending years in prison behind them. Pack your stuff and be done.
Speaker 1:And that again. That's it, Because I think we talked about it. So what happened? Her, she said, I think she said her mother or somebody told her His mom, yeah, you know, my son is going to be a pastor one day, right? So now they have a daughter and the daughter goes through the same thing and now she tells the daughter well, you know, your dad did this to me, and so just stick around and I see a man of God in him. And so you stick around and be abused, Right. And so what's going to happen? Now the daughter is going to have a daughter and she's going to say you know, your grandfather did this, Right, and now my husband. So let's know that God is in. So now they have generations and generations of women being abused because they're saying that their grandfather, great grandfather, did this and now he's a man of God. That is not right. You just created a whole type of women being abused and that is not right. You know you can't do that.
Speaker 2:He said his father did, his father's father did, his father's father did. Now he's doing it, and now he has a son who most likely is going to do it as well.
Speaker 1:All right, we got to call in, we got to call in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we got to call in, hey, hey.
Speaker 5:Who we got, I don't know why y'all why Watch that video again, how y'all doing.
Speaker 1:Good evening, hey Good, how are you?
Speaker 5:How you doing Now. I'm mad because I had to relive these people all over again. They really did piss me off. I feel like not only did the husband prey on this woman, not p-r-a-y, p-r-e-y absolutely his mother did and the whole congregation of elders did.
Speaker 5:They knew that this man had a problem, a cheating problem, from when he was a teenager, just just like his father did, because his father told him he's just like him and his father's a pastor too, and his father's a cheater too, and his father specifically told him that this is what we do. This is what we do. You will never be better than this. So everybody knew that he had a problem and they pushed this girl to stay with him because they knew that she was insecure.
Speaker 5:And I'm I'm wondering where her family at, when the people that was supposed to be supporting her and telling her what's the best thing for her to be doing?
Speaker 5:in the situation because there's no way. I don't know this. I'm all over the place, but they pissed me off. They preyed on this young lady. They pushed her to stay and made her to believe that she's the golden one. She decided to stay. They were not saved. When he first started cheating on her Wow, on her she wasn't even going to church. So the way that they're putting this story is as if they were already saved, already in leadership. He was cheating on her and God gave her the grace. God ain't give her nothing.
Speaker 5:She was the idiot to stay and she wanted to stay. And there was something else that she said about his money. Oh, I'm not not gonna let nobody else have all this money oh, yeah, when the girl came to collect her job. Yeah, so you're sitting there to collect the money so you can have this big cushion lifestyle because they are mega pastors. She wants this cushion lifestyle and she allows him to do whatever he wants to do. That has nothing to do with guns.
Speaker 2:Not at all.
Speaker 5:I don't even know why they came on this platform. First of all well, that's another story because their future wifey, they like all that toxic stuff. They do stuff for ratings. He also has a big platform and he's also connected to a lot of people in the in the mega church world in the industry, so they like it and he has a huge following of women. Women follow him wow and he knows that and he preys on those women too, black women specifically.
Speaker 2:Wow, they eat up all of this mess and it pisses me off oh yeah, I can hear it I know I typed something in the in the comments. I was like this is foolery. I put in there. I said you, this is foolery and you need to stop you. You gotta be held accountable for the upcoming young adults that are trying to get married. And sir, you need to.
Speaker 5:I was running the host.
Speaker 5:The host cheated on his wife and his wife left him and now his whole he built. First of all, he stole someone's idea for the platform, so he built this platform on, dear future wifey I am am born again, I am going to do something different. I'm not going to do what I did in my first marriage. So that's what that's what this whole platform is about. He already cheated on his wife multiple times. His wife left him, so now he built this platform to his future wife. I don't believe that man trying to get married OK.
Speaker 5:Nah, nah, I mean cause he's not trying to get married.
Speaker 1:If you're sitting there and somebody says something like that especially it's supposed to be like a godly thing too, because he's it's no way I would have been like, hey, what do you mean? Hold on? What do you mean by that? I mean, can you show me Bible verse that God did that for you? I mean, come on.
Speaker 5:Well, that's the thing, pastor Eric. They manipulate the Word because they know how to spit out the Scripture. Because if you watch the full video, everything that this man did, he justified it with Scripture. Sure did, but people don't understand. Scripture is there for guidance, not for you to follow what this person did and to provide excuse for you to do what you're doing.
Speaker 1:That's not what it's for.
Speaker 2:But the devil can spit them out too, that man was spitting out scripture left and right, Left and right. I was like just look at the devil.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and I said the same thing, Sister Patsy, Everything she say.
Speaker 2:but the first John, and so and so and so and so. First second is Ephesians. I'm like man shut up, you, spit up all. You got all this scripture in you and you still treated that woman like trash.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, don't?
Speaker 2:get me started.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, people use the Bible.
Speaker 2:Y'all got me started. See, you got me stirred up again.
Speaker 1:People use the Bible. We know that people use. People have used the bible to to justify their own sin. They have used the bible right, you know they used it for slavery.
Speaker 5:For the new christian it is, it's very, it's unfortunate for people who don't know and people who are seeking god and people who want to be married. So they're thinking, oh, they've been married, oh, they've been through some things, or someone who's in a marriage that's suffering. So they're like, oh okay, so I'm supposed to be seeking out God while he's beating me.
Speaker 5:I'm supposed to be seeking out God and asking God for grace while he's cheating on me and I know that he's cheating on me. And then you go to the church and then the elders say hold on tight, baby, just pray for him. What guidance is that you?
Speaker 2:gotta give him to the Lord enough is enough, enough is enough, and I'm like I can't when I can't take no more, when I had enough. It's a wrap. It's a wrap, it's done.
Speaker 5:The first time you say that I'm your second guest Not enough.
Speaker 2:It's a wrap. It's a wrap, it's done, it's a wrap? You ain't going to push me the first time you say it, I'm your second guest, deuces.
Speaker 1:You know, so that's why.
Speaker 5:And you can tell he's not into her because she's trying to hold his hand and that man did not hold that woman's hand. The body language, the body language, body language. She was like trying to get his attention. He kept cutting her off. So whatever they're selling, I'm not buying it. I hope nobody else buys it All right. And they better keep the Lord's object Amen.
Speaker 1:This is what Malika said. Malika said well, peaches said wages of sin is death, all right. Malika said it's a dangerous trend, honestly, of women tolerating men cheating because they all do it, and she put it in quotes yeah. There's this mentality of why would I let this other woman trick me out of my man? And the issue is say it again, sister girl, what's the man?
Speaker 1:All right. Then Jordan says this reminds me of Abraham, sarah and Hagar a little bit. We see how they only brought conflict. You know, and, and, and it is it's generational.
Speaker 1:It's generational, it brings conflict and it it brings conflict and you know that's why I would say it takes you know podcasts like this and people like you Ismeta and Harold, and the Marriage Retreat people and other marriages to say you know what? That is not right and you know it's time that we speak up. Yeah, you know, because their future wife has this broad platform and they could just say what they want to say and, like you said, he attracts all these women. But it's time that the real disciples of Jesus and I ain't saying Christian, but the real disciples of Jesus speak out and say no, that is incorrect. Lady, let me tell you something you, if a man is beating on you, a man is cheating on you, leave that joker. You know it's time that we say that and be real about it, and you know that's what we got to do.
Speaker 5:It's all abuse, Physical abuse mental abuse emotional abuse. Abuse is abuse. The Bible is very vague when it says adultery. However, abuse is abuse.
Speaker 1:I mean you know, I always say this abuse is abuse. Oh yeah, I mean it is. You know, I always say this and I tell people this. And the Bible don't explicitly say you can get divorced because of abuse. Look, the Bible also says that a man supposed to treat his wife as Christ loved the church. And if Christ never abused the church, then why would a woman stay around and let a man abuse her? No, way.
Speaker 1:And no way at all. No way at all. That is a divorce situation, especially when the man does not want to get no help. He does not want to. You know, leave his butt Boy. You almost cussed. No, pastor, don't cuss now.
Speaker 2:I don't want to cuss, and you know what? And I'm going to tell you something those emotional and mental scars go deep, that cut or that black eye that's going to heal, but those things that's in your mental head, it starts making you question yourself, your self-esteem, why I'm not good enough, what am I doing wrong? You start taking ownership of his mess and making it your fault. Let me tell you, I'm not finna. Sit back and allow that. I don't care, I'm not doing it Again. Like Eric said, christ does not abuse the church. He do not, sure don't. So why should a man abuse his wife any form of way emotionally, mentally? I think we got to wrap this up and vice versa, and vice versa because there's
Speaker 5:something out there that are victims too.
Speaker 2:It's so true, you know. You got to hey, all right, y'all, but I'm going to go, y'all got me. It's so true, you know you gotta, hey, alright, y'all but I'm gonna go.
Speaker 5:Y'all got me fine.
Speaker 1:I just want you. I guess this, I'm gonna go back in my shell. Well, thank you for calling in, but this is a prelude, because if you don't know, if you haven't heard, patsy is supposed to be starting our own podcast. You know, let's talk about it. A women's edition.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:She told us we want to make sure everybody join, that We'll be sitting in and out. I'm still trying to get her to do it and Malaika, she just I'm just trying to. Y'all got to encourage her to do it, so send her text messages Come on Malaika. We need you, girlfriend, we Send her text messages Don't Come on, malika. We need you, girlfriend. We need all these thoughts in here so y'all can have an hour-long conversation of just boss lady P, she's trying to come up with my topic.
Speaker 1:No, you got to come up with a topic. Just get on out here and just let the people talk to you. Yes, sir, all right, all right, all right, ismetha, thank you so much for calling in. All right, take care All right Take care.
Speaker 2:Bye. That's so true. His own body. Yeah. That is so true.
Speaker 1:Well, pete's putting in that the scriptures tonight. All right, all right, yes, sir, yes sir. Man Wow, wow.
Speaker 2:Oh, she's putting out the scriptures. Thank you guys, so much for joining us tonight.
Speaker 1:This has been yeah, that's why I wanted to put it at the end instead of the beginning. You know I wanted to. You know, talk about it, but I know there was, like you said, you're gonna get people heated. But again, we want to thank you for joining us tonight. As I said, you could have been doing something else, but you decided to join us and we thank each and every one of you for joining with us.
Speaker 1:And again, this is what I need you all to do. I need you all to let Patsy know it's time. It's time, it's time and once you start hers, and then I'll come up with a men's edition. You know where we talk about issues, but I need we really need a voice for the women, all right. So, lady Patsy, boss, lady P, come on with it, all right. So y'all, make sure I'll encourage her. Well, we thank you again. Make sure you like and share. If you haven't, make sure you like and share this video, this podcast, and know that we are on Apple Podcasts, we are on Spotify, amazon, we're everywhere that you get your podcast and we want you to download. And make sure you leave us a five-star review. We want to say goodnight, we love you all. We love you, thank you, and we got one more session of Marriage in Real Life before. That's the end of the season.
Speaker 1:Yeah so we got one more and we're looking forward to doing that and we thank God, baby, I love you, I love you. I thank you for the conversation tonight and I
