Marriage in Real Life
Marriage in Real Life
Words NOT to Say to Your Spouse
Marriage in Real Life isn't just a podcast; it's a community space where we expose the raw truths of our journey as partners in life, love, and everything in between. We invite you to be part of our vibrant conversation, where your voice can echo through the airwaves, sharing wisdom on weathering the stormy days of marriage and family life.
Words carry weight, and in the tapestry of marriage, they can be threads that either strengthen or unravel the bond. We peel back layers on the importance of empathy and careful communication, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like body image.
This episode is an intricate dance around the delicate subjects that often stay whispered behind closed doors. We tackle phrases that sting deeper than intended, the silent signals of distress shown through changes in personal habits, and the necessity of professional guidance when the waters get too murky to navigate alone. Every chapter is a step towards understanding that the unsaid can be just as impactful as the spoken word in the realm of love. Tune in for a heartfelt exploration of the ways in which we communicate, support, and love each other through life's unpredictable journey.
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Hello and welcome to Season 2 of Marriage in Real Life with your host, eric and Patsy Richards. Marriage in Real Life is a podcast about two imperfect people with an imperfect marriage. This podcast aims to help listeners to know that God, who is perfect, can use your imperfections in your imperfect marriage to help others. So let's laugh and learn. I hope you enjoy the episode. Let's get straight into it.
Speaker 2:Well, good afternoon, good evening, thank you. I don't know if I forgot what. It is not big. Well, we are glad to be back with Marriage in Real Life, aren't you glad to be back?
Speaker 3:Yes, I'm so happy to be back and happy new year y'all Happy new year.
Speaker 2:happy new year to everybody. Happy new year. Happy new year, happy new year. It's been an exciting time. It's been fun. It's been fun. You know We've also had some. You know we had some sicknesses too. You know we were good and sick. Yeah, we were good, we were good and sick, but we made it through. Thank God, we made it through. Alright, hey, for all those who are watching with us, come on and tell us where you are watching from. Please tell us where you're watching from. Make sure you like and share, Like and share with some friends, with some marriage couples. We want you to like and share. So y'all, tell us again, tell us where you are watching from, and we want you to be part of the discussion tonight. It should be a good discussion tonight, right?
Speaker 3:I'm excited about it, alright.
Speaker 2:So the last two weeks since our last broadcast, we had a birthday.
Speaker 3:Yes, we celebrate your birthday.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday, eric. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday. Yeah, it was my. Hey, it's my month, it's my month, 57 years old. 57 years old, you look good. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, baby. Thank you so much. If I know I can't get nothing from nobody else, I know I can get it from you. I thank you for having my bag. Alright. So another thing you know, and I don't know if you want to talk about it, you know Peter's in the hospital.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oldest daughter is in the hospital. She got a severe burn at work. You know she's a nurse, so now she is a patient, so now she gets to be on the other side. So hopefully she have great nurses like herself and just keep her in your prayers and hopefully things will work out. You know better, she's in a bit of pain, so definitely keep her in your prayers and you know, just, you know, keep us lifted up so we can continue to. You know, pray and cover her.
Speaker 2:Alright, alright. So we got some people who are watching with us. Namisha Carbon. Happy new year to you, rob, hey, rob. Alright, abinoy, orlando, paige, hey, paige, hey.
Speaker 2:I want to give all y'all a shout out, for Lottadelle Duane is watching from work. Alright, izzy, from South Carolina. We want to just hey, happy new year to y'all and thank you all for watching. We'll put some hearts up in there for y'all, you know. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:You know, as I often say, even in prayer, that you could have been doing something else, but you decided to watch with us and so we want to make sure you like, make sure you like this live stream before we even get started, make sure you like it and share with somebody. If you want to donate, you know you could donate to us by hitting the dollar sign over there to the right and you could hit that and you could donate as well, and we will appreciate and we'll make sure that when you because when you donate, what happens when you donate is like a super sticker. It's a super sticker and it shows and that you know that says hey, we got to make sure we give them, whatever they say, you know, a shout out, alright. So we want to make sure Sparkle Sparkle is watching. Hey Sparkle, where she watching from? Where she says she watching from Alright, uh-oh, you hear that. You see that baby. You see that from Izzy Loving that hair, alright, I do a little something different for the new year.
Speaker 3:See how 24 do me yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I mean, I just when it's talking about, we're talking about hair and they're talking about Izzy man. I remember, you know when, when Izzy hair was short and then we just saw it and I really liked how she, when she came in to the retreat, how she had the hair up. Man, her hair is really healthy, just in long, just like, just like Nikki's, you know, really healthy and long, and I love to see people that have dreads and stuff. That way, there is healthy and you know it was real healthy, you know. So I want to give a shout out to all y'all hair people Are you dreads? Are you dreads? Uh-oh, oh, thank you Rob. Thank you Rob. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Alright, so, hey, we're ready to get in this discussion, but before we get in the discussion, there's a video that I want to play, that we want to talk about, and maybe some of you have seen it, but we want to get your input on it and you could you know you could put it down in the chat, you know, whatever like that. We call in later, but I want to put it in the chat what you think and I want to give my input and you give your input. Alright, I know you saw it. And then I saw it from a friend and I sent it to you. You say, oh, I've seen that. Alright, yeah, you be on that. So here we go, here we go. I'm going to play this video for you.
Speaker 5:There was one time my husband was coming home for dinner. Dinner time is very important to us. One particular day my husband was late and I could feel myself getting a little bit like you're late. And Holy Spirit said when he comes in this house, you make a choice of how you're going to greet this man, holy Spirit says, because you have no idea the things he's had to fight today. So, even though you don't know why he's late, when he walks in this house you greet him like the king he is. Then I hear the door turn, the key coming, and Holy Spirit said it's almost time.
Speaker 5:When he comes in this house, you decide if you are going to be the type of woman who brings life or you bring a knife. So he walked in and I greeted him, I hugged him, I let him know I was so happy to see him and he just melted in my arms. He said let me tell you what happened today, what I've had to deal with. And it broke me down because there's a scripture, proverbs 31 and 11. It says the heart of her husband safely. Trust her. When you endeavor to be a woman who follows the Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit will teach you how to love, how to be safe, how to be nurturing and how to be the type of woman where a man comes home and he knows I fought out there but I never have to fight in here. I'm home.
Speaker 2:Alright, alright, so what's your thoughts on it? Or you want me to go first?
Speaker 3:You go first, you go first. You had some serious thoughts.
Speaker 2:I had some. Yeah, this is the thing I mean. I understand what she says, but it goes back to the thing that I think you often, and we often talk about is that a lot of times you see the videos, that's talking about the woman and what she has to do. Right, what she has to do, alright. But my thing is that you say and again I applaud her, you know, I give her, you know, give her another one. That's how she felt and she is right.
Speaker 2:The Holy Spirit does, teaches us, you know, teaches us how to love. That's why we have to have the Holy Spirit to guide us in marriage. But this is the problem I had. If you knew your husband was late and y'all have a relationship like that, why didn't you just call him? You wouldn't have to be all going crazy. You know, if you know the Holy Spirit, if you know the husband was late and you talk, right, because it's just like us, when we are out and we're not home at a certain time or whatever, we call one another and say, hey, what's up? Right, that's point number one.
Speaker 3:Okay, point number one.
Speaker 2:Point number two If I have a rough day, right? I'm not waiting till I get home to tell you about my rough day. I'm going to call you while I'm writing. That's just me, because I need to talk to you, because you are the person that I have the Holy Spirit, but you are the human being that's a babe, you know. I can say, babe, I had a rough day today, this one, and we could talk about it even before I get home. That's point number two, and so that's just my feelings of it, and I guess I'm taking it from our relationship. Our relationship is different, I understand that, but that's just me. Because of what we have, you know, I don't have to wait till I get home to tell you about that. You could tell me. And so when I come home, right, you can greet me, not even knowing what kind of day I had, not, you know, right? So what's your thoughts on it?
Speaker 3:I don't know what you mean. What do you mean? I can greet you not knowing.
Speaker 2:No, you can greet me knowing the day I had, you know.
Speaker 2:Because you've already gotten to the show, I told you, and even doing the day we were talking. You know, and I know that's why we had that. You know, when we had that podcast where you sharing, you know, maybe send crazy stuff doing the day. You're talking during the day and I know sometimes with certain jobs you get so busy that you can't do it, but you do take a lunch break and you're supposed to take a lunch break and you do take a break, you know, and so you may be reading your word at lunchtime but you take a break and you think about your spouse, you know, and think about that and if it's a day that is rough, you get it. I usually get. You know I would get in the car, I would woo, saw and my first thought is to say thank you, jesus, for bringing me through and I need to call my wife. That's just me. All right, you.
Speaker 3:Why he couldn't just pick up the phone and say hey, babe, I'm running late. I had a rough day. I'll talk to you about it when I get home. You know, a little heads up, because it's not always. I mean, from the sounds of it it. Maybe there has been a moment in that relationship where you running late, why you're running late, you know. So maybe she's like, instead of me leaping on him, I, you know, I need to just kind of take a step back. I'm not really sure how their relation came about, but I feel like, you know, communication is key. We've always talked about communication. So if you having a bad day, invite. First of all, I'm having a bad day as well. You always know about my bad day because we have an open-liner communication. So I think that was the key right there. If you have to communicate that he's running late, or heard a call him and say, hey, babe, you good, you know.
Speaker 3:I was getting a little worried. You know dinner's getting a little cold or something like that. Everything don't have to be. I got to get down on my knees and pray about it.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 3:And we don't have to be that way and we also do have to have that inner ear where we do hear from the Holy Spirit and we let the Holy Spirit be our guide. I mean Kudo's off to her. Well maybe she was going to go off, Maybe in the past. There's different reasons why she?
Speaker 1:would want to go off.
Speaker 3:And I'm grateful that you know it. Don't always take that we could always, you know, listen for the word of God and he will direct us. You know the Bible says he's direct our path.
Speaker 2:Yes, right, everything. Yeah, that's good, all right. So hey look, I see, ferg, he Johnny Collins. Johnny Collins says it's called Trust. All right, ferg, what's up? Ferg from North Carolina.
Speaker 3:What's your line on your?
Speaker 2:board. Well, johnny Collins, all right, first say he should have done a courtesy call as well, you know that's. And first say that's a good point. I mean, I want some, you know, some more women to maybe chime in. And you know, let's chime in and see what they, what they're saying. And we're going to, we're going to go, we're going to now, we're going to talk about our topic tonight, which is phrases to never say to your spouse, even when you're mad. Even when you're mad. We, we've talked, we've said look, we've told people late. Look it's, it's like a two pace man. You can't put it back Once it's out there. You can't put it back. You can't.
Speaker 2:I mean words, because it's not like a little squirts where you try to put it in man, words are powerful. You know, even the Bible said let's not let no corrupt. You know, language come out of your mouth and people think that corrupt is cussing or something like that. No, we're supposed to build one another up, because that's what the scripture says. We're supposed to build each other up in the holy things. That's what we, and as a marriage we, should be building up. And what does mouth do it? Our tongue can tear its other down. Life and death is in the powerful of the what, the tongue, right, yeah, and you know so that tongue is very, very powerful. You know we used to say when we were young and you know to the younger people out there I'm probably sure you never heard that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me.
Speaker 2:Wow, that was not true that was not true at all, you know, because words do hurt.
Speaker 3:And the pain and rurs last way longer than scars.
Speaker 2:Oh man, I'm too old, I got to give you that Some scars, some scars. I still, you know, I still got some scars and I can look back and look. But you know, but words, words can affect you mentally. It can, it can really really mess you up. So when you're talking to your spouse, especially, there are some phrases to never say to your spouse, because our words are powerful. All right, are you ready to get into it? I'm ready, you ready? All right. This is the first one here. Let me go and make sure. I want to make sure that we are good with this here, because we want to make sure that we get these things together. Here's the first one All right, all right, all right, here we go, all right. The first one is I don't think I love you anymore. I don't think I love you anymore. Wow, that's, that's, that's. We shouldn't say that. Why? Why? You think we shouldn't say that, babe?
Speaker 3:Well, you know, I think I don't think I love you anymore. It should come with it and this is the reason why, versus, I just don't think I love you anymore, because love, love is a choice, you know, and and also the the prospect of I may love you, but I may not be in love with you anymore. What's the?
Speaker 2:difference in that I love you being in love. Is there a difference? What was that? I think it's a difference.
Speaker 3:I think being in being in love with someone is like that pit of pattern in your heart. You think about that person, you concern about that person, you want to make sure that person's okay. You want to pick up the phone and know where that person are if they running late. You know you genuinely concern because you're in, you're not, you're in love. You know you. You, you love them. But that's my boo, that's my baby, okay.
Speaker 3:I'm in love with him. You know versus you know. Yeah, I love you. You know you can also love chocolate chip cookies.
Speaker 2:So don't you think a society has used the word love? I mean, how can I say it? We just use it like it doesn't mean anything. I think now you know, because I put it like this you probably didn't want an effect about this, but we were, when I was a little child well, teenager, right, and I wanted to do something with a girl or whatever. You know, I would throw those words out I love you. You play games. Yeah, play games. You know, I love you. No one getting. Well, I didn't even know what love was, you know, right, that's what you were telling me.
Speaker 2:No, I wasn't, that's what you were telling me. Oh Jesus, I got to.
Speaker 3:I really didn't love you then.
Speaker 2:Oh, did I tell you I love you when I was teenagers? No, okay, all right, then See you. See you when he was in my life at teenagers. You can use play on me.
Speaker 3:No, I wouldn't be the only one. I would play on whatever.
Speaker 2:Oh man.
Speaker 3:You know, you know and yeah, hi, pastor Hurdle, hey, pastor Hurdle, there's intimacy that goes exactly exactly. There's intimacy that goes within love. You know, you have that compassion for that person, you have empathy for that person, you genuinely are in love with that person. So to say, I don't think I love you anymore without an explanation, because that made me think that you're not in love with me anymore.
Speaker 2:You know that's what I mean.
Speaker 2:And then the Lord says look, love means you have a place in my heart, but it's not the number one space place. So okay, so all right, so let's do this. I like that. So when we say that we love God, are we saying that? Or should we be saying we in love with God Absolutely, but we can't say that we love God? We can say we love God, we can't say, because the scripture says love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. It says love. We don't say be in love with God with your heart, with your soul, with your body and mind. So that's just my question to all my theologians out there.
Speaker 2:So that goes back to what I'm saying is that I think we have taken the love because, you know, again, god has that agape love that is unconditional. We have that love that's conditional because the reason why I say that, the reason why we shouldn't say I don't think you in love with them more, because you may not be in love with that person in the moment, because that person may have made you mad, right, and because love is a choice, not a feeling, you know, we choose not to love that person right, at that moment, at that moment, because that person has made you mad, because y'all got into a big old blowout and you was like you know what, you know, I just don't think I love you anymore, you know but we shouldn't say that because, again, love is a choice, not a feeling, right, and we should choose to love because oh, because now it gets back to this God chose to love us.
Speaker 2:That's why he sent his son to die. He chose to love us because, again, if he was up to feelings because of our sin and because of the things that we did, how we turn our back on God when he don't give us what we want, right? Yeah, yeah, he chooses to love us. He chooses and he loves us unconditionally, because if he went by feelings we'd be going to hell. All right, I got you. So, okay, all right, I, like Izzy, say the love for God and the love for people are not to compare. Okay, I can, I can, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Because we're talking about God Almighty. No, so I can, I can, I can get with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I like that. I like that. I like that. All right, we ready to move on. We ready to move on. All right, I know there's AC. Come on, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We got the AC coming on and off and my baby got. You know, we just got over being sick so you got she got to be. She probably be taking it on and off, you know, so don't worry about it. All right, we ready for the next one. The next one is. The next one is this this is good here. The next one is your fat. Oh, why you looking me like?
Speaker 3:that, yeah, that, just yeah. Why you looking me like that? Because when someone say you're fat, you don't. It makes you, it makes you feel unattractive, like you know they don't desire you anymore. You know they don't, they don't want you, they don't want to be in your place. It's being critical. It's being critical, so that word is definitely, that's a definitely no, no, no, no, no, no, no on both and both. I mean male and female.
Speaker 2:Because a lot of times you know, we don't want to say that to the spouse, but me, I don't want to hear that either. We don't want to hear that either. So how should you, if you don't want to say you're fat, how should and this goes out? I want somebody to type it out how should we tell somebody that you know you're gaining a little weight, you know you're gaining a little, you're getting a little pudgy around the stomach? You know, you know or something. Is there a way to say that and not hurt feelings? Is there a way you know?
Speaker 3:Yeah, we want the truth, but we don't want to bother to say you know you're kind of fat, you know it's just, it's insensitive Because you know, women we're always, you know, up and down with our weight as it is, carry our bratty children that add on weight.
Speaker 2:Oh Jesus, why they got to be our bratty children. Why can't be? The children that we create, break together, all right.
Speaker 3:Put us in a situation, you know. So we got to just 40, 40 weeks that we got to carry that weight, plus the extra weight that we carry on.
Speaker 2:So Rob, rob, Rob I got to get to the shot, out loud I love it.
Speaker 3:And I was gonna say you know that's the way to do it, you know it's anyway. So that's how we, that's how you know what you guys in the comments you're too much, that's how it's in your side, you know, and I can go for fluffy because I'm quick to say babe, I'm feeling a little fluffy. And you know, and when I was fluffy I was wonderful, I liked it, I felt good about myself because Eric never said you know those pants a bit tight.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know.
Speaker 3:I guess you could say something like that Say oh, you know what? What about that dress I bought you? Can you wear that? And then you put it on and you see that there's two types, like oh yeah, baby, that's kind of tight. You know anything other than the word fat.
Speaker 2:Oh man, oh Lord, look, it is easy to say you shouldn't tell anyone they're gaining weight. That is their own struggle. They should deal with it. Okay, all right, you know, I can agree with that. It seems like the guys are weighing in, man, the guys are weighing in. Oh no, what's up with the women? Baby, you out here by yourself, honestly, first say you shouldn't. You should say, babe, I'm concerned with how hard your heart is, you know, okay, okay, jordan says Jordan. Jordan said always feel like you shouldn't bring up a problem without giving a solution. It might be better to just suggest going to the gym together. Okay, jordan.
Speaker 2:All right, yeah, that'd be nice, oh Jesus.
Speaker 2:All right, I'm telling you, you got to watch what you say. I'm telling you, you know, as a married couple, don't you think as a married couple is certain things that you can say? But you got to because if we're one and I'm looking out for you, if I go over, like to what Izzy says, you know you shouldn't tell anyone. But if we're one and I'm worried about your heart, are you gaining weight? There has to be some, I guess, some kind of way that I could say you know, hey, babe, you know I'm worried about you. You know, or something you know. Is you know, just somebody, somebody, somebody, look, oh Lord, somebody, look like a food blister, jesus, we're moving on to the next one, babe.
Speaker 3:Thank you because you know, it's just ways that you can and you know, and you don't want to be in the heat of an argument and say, well, you're fat, because that's just going to work. No.
Speaker 2:I would. No, you don't tell people. You don't tell people they're fat. All right, we're going on to the next one. We're going to the next one. All right, let's keep moving. All right. The next one here, boy, I'm telling you y'all, y'all got us in tonight, All right. The next one is you're crazy. All right, we don't want to say you're crazy. We do not want to say you're crazy. Why do you think that?
Speaker 3:Um, why do I think we shouldn't say you know, people may take it personally, may you know it messes with someone, mental state, as if they're speaking to you and you say you must be crazy. Now, now you know it is insulted them, because now we have in this conversation, and my opinion is what I'm saying, and you calling me crazy.
Speaker 2:It's an insult.
Speaker 3:It's an insult to my mental state. So, don't call me crazy.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 3:Don't even say you acting like you crazy.
Speaker 2:Because that implies that you have mental issues.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And we don't want to imply to our spouse that they have mental issues. Now I would say we, you have to you when you, when you're with a couple, you have to know the couples, how they interact. Right, because we say you're crazy all the time. Right, but we know what we mean. When we say you're crazy, right, we don't mean that you are nuts and you should be in the mental order, that's not. We just say what we be, laughing, we be, you know we be laughing and joking. He said he's so crazy, you know, but that doesn't, you know, that doesn't mean that you are mentally unstable. So you have to know the couple, you have to have to know it is and you have to know even if, even if they're a couple, there's certain people that you can say that to and they know that you mean that you don't think I'm mentally unstable, you know, they know that it's a funny thing.
Speaker 2:You know, I grandmas and moms used to tell us that all the time you don't lost your rabbit. My, you're not doing some business. You know you're not supposed to. All right, all right. So you know you're crazy. It can mess up. You know somebody's you know, because again you're saying something that's you know that's. You can say that you know mentally and people don't like that man that criticize sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can hurt me Right?
Speaker 3:All right so only that, that you might really make something crazy. Rob say hey, the crazy side would come out even more. You don't want that, you don't want that. And, like I said, crazy usually is that tends to be the response to shifting the blame or invalidating the feeling. That's so true.
Speaker 2:All right Page says the timing of a statement like that matters.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2:All right. So yeah, we want to make sure that that is there. Oh, first of all, there's a better way of saying things. What is your goal to address the issue? Or an insult? We don't want to. Oh, look, we go back to this way. Hey, look at Ms Carl the Nisha Carver said what about you two skinny? What are we talking about? We were talking about too fat, you two skinny. Oh.
Speaker 3:Jesus, we've totally forgot about it. Yeah, lord, how do you tell them that you know you do? You don't have to really tell them that just like cooking a whole bunch of stuff.
Speaker 2:Like those pork chops and all that kind of mashed potatoes red beans and rice.
Speaker 3:You're so funny that I minister music. I'm always telling her I'm like you know, girl, I think you need some beans and rice. She's so tiny and I'm like always trying to feed her, always trying to feed her Fatten her up Yep, yep, all right, all right, let's go to the next one.
Speaker 2:Let's go to the next one, all right. This next one here is good is I wish I never married you? Oh, that's painful. You don't say that you married to somebody and you're going to say I wish I never married you. No, no, no, no, no. You don't want to say that. You don't want to say that that talk about a phrase that communicates All right. So you're saying to that person I've made a mistake in my life. You are a mistake.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:No, you do not. That's damaging to a person. That's damage to a person's self-esteem or who they are as an individual. You know you do not Again. Look at here, I'm telling you these words. You cannot put it back in, so you got to make sure you don't. If it's in the heat of the moment, you make sure you do a woosa or whatever. Walk away, because if once you say those words, I wish I never married you, man, that is hurtful. Obviously that's a no-no.
Speaker 2:Yes, that is a no-no Saying this phrase breaks all intimacy and trust for a long period of time. I don't even know how you you think about it. Somebody said to you I wish I never married you. I don't know even you can even get it back. Man, that is hard. You know, I wish I never married you. Oh man, Uh-uh, no, we don't want to say that. We don't want to say that, All right, we're going to the next one, we will go into the next one. The next one is you're so stupid.
Speaker 3:Nobody likes to be called stupid.
Speaker 2:Nobody likes to be called it.
Speaker 3:So if you, if you don't want to be called stupid, don't call someone else stupid, because they're to come back at you.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And don't say you acting like you're stupid, because it's just the same as saying you're stupid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's. You know you don't want to shame nobody, but shame in a person makes you feel terrible and insane, that you're so stupid. Now, again, that's that. Uh, that's a context, not a. I don't even think it's a contextual thing in any way, because we, we be laughing and we be saying I mean, we, we we're at our worst of cracking up jokes and we're laughing right in the car or whatever it is. We're just so stupid, but we, but we're not meaning you're, you're dumb or anything like. That's not what we're meaning. And again, that's why, when you are around a couple and they say certain things you can't, really you got to look at how they are reacting, how are they interacting, you know, because a couple can be with us and we say you're so stupid and somebody be looking. Hey, he just called us stupid when I really didn't.
Speaker 3:It was just a and it's not offensive to me, because I know where you coming from. I know how we communicate. So, I would never be offended by it, but you know it. You know it does something to your character. It makes you feel like it's something wrong with you, that you're not all there. And then it, and then that kind of triggers right back to I wish I never married you because maybe you stupid and crazy.
Speaker 2:You're stupid, you're crazy, you're fat. I wish I never married you.
Speaker 3:Oh, you got to be careful.
Speaker 3:You got to choose your words wisely. And I'm like even by Eric and I had a little dispute this on Friday. And let me tell you something I really, really, really, really have to think about what I was going to say before I said it, because I didn't want to demean him, I didn't want to belittle him, I didn't want him to feel less of who he was, but I wanted him to hear where I was coming from. So I have to really really choose my words carefully, because I don't want to put something out there that I can't, I can't pull back.
Speaker 2:So yeah you know I didn't know you was going to say you talk about that. You know, saturday I did something that I haven't done. I don't know, I don't. You probably can think about a time that I did, but when I did it I said, I said, lord, I need wisdom, I need to, and the Lord convicted me. He, the Holy Spirit, convicted me and said you need to go out and find out. And it goes back to what we tell people.
Speaker 2:When it comes down to communication, you can't let something just go, because usually and this honestly, usually I would just let it blow over. And you know, I know we had, I know I had a movie ticket for you, you know, to see Aquaman that you want to see, you know whatever, and try to do things. But I needed to know why, why, why was that, especially when it comes down to? You know what we were talking about, you know. And so when I came out and said, you know, let's talk about yesterday, you know I was nervous about saying it because I've never done that before. Think of time. You can't even think of a time that I come out and say let's talk about that. We just had our let's talk about why.
Speaker 2:And that's when you told me why, and that's when I found out and I said whoa. So you know that goes to we've been married almost 32 years and some things that you got to do. And I just want to tell all the married couples out there, you know, don't let nothing. If you had an argument the night before or whatever, don't think it's just going to blow over, because it's not going to blow over. Go ahead and find out why we had the argument, because you never know what a person is feeling. You never know what your spouse is going through unless you find out. And so you got to talk about it. All right.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Let's do that. Our first says man, y'all are putting out daggers tonight If you divorce, if you, that divorce is almost certain. When you say you're stupid and things were bad in order to get you know to this point, yep, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it just didn't happen overnight. So that's why communication is key, counseling is key. You know, even if you don't feel like you, you know like you, like your marriage is in trouble, but it always helped to get the point of wisdom from someone else, especially Faith Base, because you know we haven't all arrived 32 years and we still have our little 32 years and the first time you say come, babe, let's talk about it.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you, I'm selling you, I'm being transparent tonight. Y'all can get on me. You can get on me, you know whatever, but I'm being transparent tonight. All right, Rob G say a better option is that wasn't smart. You know, maybe the some people that. Still, you know.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, if you know, I kind of get where Rob coming from, like that wasn't a smart thing to do. You know, I think I've said that to you. You say that you've said that many times, babe I don't think that was, I don't think that was smart, let's try this way. But I don't. It's like, I don't say, I don't think it was smart, but what you think about this, let's do it this way. So if there, you know, on my boss I always say don't bring me the problem, bring me the solution.
Speaker 2:John just said that. John said that, Remember. John said that earlier, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, bring me the solution, or let's sit down and talk about this. Let's come up with a solution, let's find a mean, because in this journey of marriage there's going to be so many other things that's going to come our way. So let's just go ahead and knock this out and get this out of the way, so so we can be ready to fight for the next one, you know.
Speaker 2:All right, all right, all right, we're ready to go to the next one. Ready to go to the next one. The next one is this it's all your fault.
Speaker 3:Blame, blame, blame, blame.
Speaker 2:It's all your fault. That is not a good one, that is. You know that, that you know, you don't. You don't want to tell nobody that it's all your fault. No, no, it's impossible for everything to be your fault, to be one person's fault. You know what I mean. It's impossible. You, you may have had some part in it, but you know, yeah, it's, it's, it's a possible when it, when it comes down to that, you know now, if you're going to go out and cheat, that's your, that's on you. Right, Absolutely, that's that's only.
Speaker 2:If you go out and cheat, that's on you, that ain't on me. You know, because before you go out, before you go out and cheat, you, you, until my blaming me, you know you should be talking to me. That's where communication comes. You should not be, you not be doing that. If, if, if, if I'm not doing something to you know, to help you in the marriage, to build you up, or whatever Communication says, you come to me, we talk about it and we try to resolve it. Cheating is never, never an answer to problems. I want you to put that on, put that tweet that do whatever, whatever. Cheating is never the answer to problems, whether you emotional cheat or you physically cheat. Cheating is never the answer to problems. It's never.
Speaker 2:All right All right, all right, all right, we going to the next one. This next one is good too. This next one is is uh, yeah, it's good too. All right, here it is. You're just like your mom. We don't want to it, it, it. We don't want to say that, yeah, yeah, you're just like your mom. What if? What if? You know their mom, the person that you're speaking to mom and dad had an unhealthy relationship and you know, you're saying and because now you are arguing with them, you're just like your mom, you, you want everything. No, no, no, no, no, uh-uh, no, no, no, no. I would, I, would, man, I would, I, I don't know if, if, if, if a son-of-law told that to my daughters, I'll be mad because they, they, you know, do you? If? If she's saying I want something, I'll be mad, saying that, you know, in a negative way. They should be saying in a positive way you just like your mom.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, Sounds about the same oh wait a minute, because this is saying you just like your mom negatively. It's not there saying you know, positively, looking at the positive things of your mom, that you're just like they're saying you know, or you're just like your dad, you know, and we know we don't want to say that negatively to especially boys. You know, when you have children we don't want to say that negatively.
Speaker 3:If the dad is not in their life right. You don't want to say it negatively, but if the dad is a you know upstanding daddy, nothing wrong with him being like his daddy, like it's Paul like it's Paul.
Speaker 2:Nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong All right All right.
Speaker 3:But like this thing it does, it talks about unhealthy relationships with your parents. So, yeah, you want to refrain from saying you know you acting like you know your mom. There's this one show that I watch oh, my God, I'm BET as the team.
Speaker 6:You know, you know me, and the team and I got all that going on.
Speaker 3:But this one, one of the main characters, his name is Zach. Because of his childhood he always get you know when he would go to his mom who was on, who was on drugs. She would always tell him you act like your daddy and he hated that statement. He hated that statement and so you know, you don't even want that to come from any female, you know, especially if your dad hasn't been there and it's in a negative light, and vice versa as well, you know, with your mom, you do not want to say.
Speaker 2:You're acting like a certain person negatively.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that can really go for anybody.
Speaker 2:You want to say it positively. You know that. You know if you see something you know positive, say, man, you're acting just like your mom. You know you're smiling. You know whatever, whatever it's positive with a smile, not in a negative manner that you acting like your parents know that's not a good thing. All right, all right. So the next one here, this next one here, all right, I hate you oh hate is a very, very strong, violent word.
Speaker 3:It's very aggressive, it's demeaning Hate Hate is a strong word.
Speaker 2:Hate is a strong word.
Speaker 3:You know, I'm just not liking you right now, Just not liking you right now.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:I'm going to go in here and close the door.
Speaker 2:I'm not liking you right now. Well, you know, hate is an angry word.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm, hate is a very bad word.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, and it's highly aggressive and you don't not want to say I hate you.
Speaker 3:No, not to your spouse.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:Again, you want to choose your words careful because, like we say, once those words are out there, it's hard to get them things back. You really don't get them back. All you can do is hope that that person will forgive you and ask for forgiveness, because you came from a place of, maybe, anger at the moment and you it really in your heart didn't mean it again. And it's really on that person, on how they perceive it and if they're going to release it. You know. So, yeah, hate.
Speaker 2:But the thing is better to say I'm really upset with you right now.
Speaker 3:I'm really upset with you right now. You know what I can't I can't see your face right now. Right, yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:I can't, yeah, I just I can't. Let's just you know what I'm, I'm, I'm pissed off. I you know, I'm just, it's words, other words that you can say then hate, Right. You know they think about this. Love is a full letter of her, Hate is a full letter of her, Right, Mm-hmm. And so Kirk Franklin say the love is a word that comes and goes, you know but few people really know what it means.
Speaker 2:All right, so hate is another word. You know, and, and but not a few people, everybody know what hate mean Hate when you hate somebody, and we do not want to use the word hate. All right, all right, we get down to our last one. This is our last one here, and maybe you got some more out there. We, you know, hopefully we talk about them, but this is our last one here. I never loved you. You do not want to say that you, that's, that's a no, no, all right, we. You don't want to say that. Why, why do you think? We don't? We don't want to say that.
Speaker 3:Because then, from a female perspective, if, if you said that to me, then I'm going to be like all that stuff and all those times that we shared and all those moments, places, times, and you never loved me intimacy. You know. So you've been dragging me alone all this time and now, all of a sudden, you don't. You don't love me. Man, that's tough. I really like that.
Speaker 4:Just just me, just a thought of that, just a thought of it, it's like, so I've been wasting my time all this time.
Speaker 3:I've been loving you, but you never loved me, you never. I mean, you use me like a slap in the face.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you use me and you know what. You can apologize all you want, but this phrase will leave a deep scar in somebody's life. It's going to leave. I never love you, man. That's that's. That's. That's hard, that is hard.
Speaker 3:That's deep, because you won't have to tell me that for one time.
Speaker 2:That's why just and I'm going Bible here is, that's why I, I try so hard to be the man of God and we should try to be. You should try to be the woman of God, we should. You know, everybody should try to be who they are. Because the Bible says and this is taking, I just want, I just want to throw this out here the Bible says that many shall prophesy my name. They should do all of these things in my name. But when they get up for that great meeting, that judgment day, he's going to say I never knew you.
Speaker 2:That's just like I never love you to us the same same as a deep, and so you can. You imagine you did all of these things in God's name and they happen. Maybe you got a big church, maybe people got healed, maybe got people got saved and whatever, but because of your life you say I never knew you. That's deep Right. So for us to say I never love you, like you said, everything I've done, everything I've done in the past, is useless Now that's how I would receive it.
Speaker 3:I'll be like hold up, wait a minute, wait a minute. All these, all these times that we shared, all the times that you helped me when I cried, all the times when we were on vacation, all of the spontaneous moments that we had, the laughing, the drives on the beach what are you serious, you? You, you never loved me, but you was playing me. You were playing me, yeah, yeah. No, you don't want to say that, because you don't have to back that up.
Speaker 2:You don't have to back that up with.
Speaker 3:Okay, when did you stop? At one at one? At what point did you stop? Or was it from the beginning? That's going to bring a whole whole bunch of stuff.
Speaker 2:And yeah, no, we don't want that. So, since love is a choice, right, so you're, you're saying to I refuse to choose to love you, and everything I've done that looked like love before was so that I could get XYZ out of you.
Speaker 3:That hurts, yeah, that hurts.
Speaker 2:Hurt says okay, married folks, we're being honest. Sometimes we do hate each other temporarily, but love helps us return to the place where we can continue. I don't know if.
Speaker 1:I hate.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I want to use the word hate. You know we may disagree and I may fall out of love with you, but I don't hate you. And the thing is, I would never say I hate you or I never. These, like this, these are words that when, again, when they come out your mouth, you, you can't put them back in, so you don't want to say these words, you know. So I don't know if I would say I hate you, that I hate you, I would say you know, right now I'm just not in love with you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's what I said. So I'm not liking you right now, like I'm really not liking you, let me yeah, we need to separate.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know it's, it's, it's, it's got some good one. She says never hate, but frustrated or annoyed, and that's your word. Annoyed, yeah, that's that's when I know it is, is, is, is, yeah, that's when, that's when I know that's, that's, that's right there, when I know I'm just so annoyed I said, oh Lord, oh boy.
Speaker 3:What are we going to do about that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, what we got to do that All right. So the point is for tonight is that oftentimes we say things out of anger, which doesn't excuse the behavior, but it is the explanation we do not want. We, we, we, man, I'm telling you, anger can. When you get angry, you got to take a woosa. When you with your spouse, you angry at your spouse, you got to take a woosa. Just don't, you know, you know any and it's real good. The people that like to shoot from the hip. You know, and you like to shoot from the hip. So when you like to shoot from the hip, you really got to have the discipline within your life to say I can't say that. You see what I'm saying. Like you said on Friday, you know you shoot from the hip, but you didn't shoot all of it from the hip. You shot a little bit from the hip, but you didn't shoot all the way from the hip. All right, god.
Speaker 3:I did not, I was, you know I was, I was calm. I try to stay as calm as I want, wanted to. But praise be to God. You know there's a change.
Speaker 2:Thank God for the change you know the guys earlier, earlier, you know you, you would have said something that would have been.
Speaker 3:You had it, but I find that choosing my words carefully get get me more of an explanation of what answer that I'm looking for.
Speaker 2:Okay, because you will shut down. You know me, so, oh, so well that you know, you know I will, I will shut, I will shut down, all right. So, izzy, what is Izzy saying right there? Can you read that?
Speaker 3:She said I don't know about falling out of love either.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay.
Speaker 3:And then she said just a high level of frustration when you need to get out of my face and I need to allow you your space so both parties can process Okay and level set.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:That's true. Sometimes you just sometimes you have to. You need that space. And I say all the time, you know, eric and I, we, I with each other all the time and I used to complain doing football season and basketball scene. I'd be like you're doing that again, you know, and when I come to find out in these latter years, um, let me let him have that time, cause he have that time. I mean I can have my time. If I have a question or something I need answered, I always say you'll be when you get a commercial break, holler at me so I can come and I can talk to you. So you definitely need a time and in in, and if you are budding heads, it's always very important to step away. You can't solve anything with both of your yelling at each other anyway, Right, right, right Cause you don't hear him, he don't hear him and he don't hear you.
Speaker 3:So where did you get out of that? Nothing.
Speaker 4:Right, right.
Speaker 3:Walk away and come back, process Like, like it's like, um it's, make the set, process it and then you can come back and set the level.
Speaker 2:Right, okay, all right, I give, I give you an um, give you an easy that you know. Uh, that was that was. That was some good knowledge. All right, we, we are ready to um for people to call in. If they got some, some sayings or whatever, like that, they can call in at 755-222-2219. You laughing about something I was looking at.
Speaker 3:Well, it's, um, not easy but, like I wrote about when we were talking about the, I guess the heart cause first thing's something about the heart. So I'm like I say, well, maybe just set up some doctor's appointments for a yearly checkup and then let the doctor tell him that he's in the way.
Speaker 6:That's not bad, daughter in love, that's not bad at all.
Speaker 3:You know sometimes, sometimes it takes for somebody from the outside to say you know you could, you could drop a few, drop a few, oh Jesus my doctor, we quit telling me oh so you picked up about three pounds.
Speaker 2:I know I know, so All right. So if you want to, if you got some phrases that that you you want to talk about, that you, you know you shouldn't say I want you to call in the 754-222-2219, 754-222-2219. We got about five minutes. When you call in, call in for a minute so we can have other people call in um and and say what you think it, what you think it should be, what you think the phrase should be concerning um, you know somebody saying a few words 754-222-2219. This was a great discussion tonight. I enjoyed it. Yeah, this was a great. I enjoyed. I enjoyed, you know, the, the chat, going back and forth and reading the chats. You know that's what I um, that's what I love about it. You know, with the chats and everything like that, that we can even go back once the podcast is over and we can look at it and say, oh man, that's, that's some good, good stuff. You know that's I mean, even when we have, I believe no one person knows it all, and so we definitely don't.
Speaker 3:We definitely don't. This call may be recorded or transcribed. We gotta call her.
Speaker 2:All right, we gotta call her Malika. Can you hear us?
Speaker 4:Yes, can you hear me? Yes?
Speaker 2:I can hear you loud and clear.
Speaker 4:So you might hear a my in the back, uh. But uh, I was going to say that you know, sometimes you might not think that something like when you're, let's say, first entering a relationship, you might think that something's okay to say, but it's not with your spouse. So it's just a matter also of just like for things that are specific to your relationship, that you go and uh, listen to your relationship, that you guys go and have kind of like a talk about like your boundaries and stuff, or like you know, I remember one time Jordan and I we had something like that. I think he was.
Speaker 4:Every time you would do something like silly or something, I'd be like, oh, you're a fool, or something.
Speaker 4:And then one day he pulled me to the side and he's like you know, I actually don't like when you call me a fool, I have like a negative connotation with that and I was like, oh, okay, like you know, I put that feedback or seated. I was like I didn't need it like that, but you know I could say something else instead. And now I'll be like you're silly, and then he prefers that as opposed to you're a fool, because you know, a fool doesn't necessarily have the greatest connotation with it. So that's like one of those things where you and your significant other could like sit down and talk about once. It usually comes up instead of being attacking or, you know, taking in a negative light. You know, put yourself on the first of shoes and just say, hey, maybe this person doesn't like this language, or maybe that's not how they grew up in their environment, or your environment was different from theirs and you guys just set those boundaries as you move along.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, I like that. I like that daughter in love.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like that. All right. Well, thank you so much for calling in.
Speaker 2:All right, thank you for so much calling in. Tell her my we say hello, hello hug for me.
Speaker 4:We're going to go put it in the bed, all right, bye, bye, bye, bye.
Speaker 2:All right, we got somebody else want to call in. All right, what would Ferg say? What would Ferg say? I'm not going to call in, but shut up. I thought it's Maitreya will probably call in. Ferg will probably call in. You know they. You know they are regular call in people. Samson sometimes call in too, you know, but we love to have somebody. You know we got. We got quite a few people on, yeah, so we again. Please don't forget to like and share. Please like and share this podcast. I think this is a good one to share because, like, even like I just said, you know what you would get ready to say.
Speaker 3:I want to go back to Rob put in the in the comments and we were talking about the fat, the fat part. I don't know why I keep this, keep coming up why you keep going back to that. But he said something that I was like, ok, this is so true. He said what if someone's weight is making them on a tractor to their partner?
Speaker 2:All right, we want to put that out there.
Speaker 3:It should be told in a polite way.
Speaker 3:Oh you got to remember. We're visual and people know what they like. Now, if they like them, they like them, you know. But if what if they don't like them? Thinking maybe what if they wasn't sick when they, when they got married? You know they wasn't. I don't even say I'm going to say fluffy if they wasn't fluffy when they got married. But now also, you don't, you know it is a polite way to say it. But then, like Jordan said, hey, baby, you know, let's go for a walk, let's go for a bike ride, let's get out there and let's, you know, kind of incorporate exercise without that person even knowing why you're talking. You'll be surprised as well, you know. They may say you know, this walk really won't be out, I really need to exercise a little more, you know. You know you never know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that's a, that's, that's, yeah, I mean I don't know. I mean I really don't know, I don't know what to say. I mean I like what Rob just said too is he said I knew my parents were right about you. Never say that we got another call. We got another call in. We got another daughter calling in. It's Nathan. Hey, it's Nathan, how you doing.
Speaker 6:It's me, Hi honey. First and foremost, honey, you're working this hair.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 6:I think this is my favorite, Really Okay. It brings out your complexion. You look good honey.
Speaker 3:Jesus.
Speaker 6:You know I need to get on, rob, okay.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 6:Nice the way of saying things. What if it's medically induced? I think the whole fat thing is really sensitive and it really depends on what that individual is going through. Because if they're going through a depression, then I think getting to the root of the problem is more important than the weight loss. If they're going through some hormonal issues that y'all don't know about, I think seeking a doctor's opinion is more important than saying you're getting flussy. So it all depends. Now, if they're stuffing they face 24 hours, seven days a week, and you stuff in your face too, but you can hide your weight better, then that's a different conversation and there's ways of saying things. So I think it's all about intentions one and two. What is the root of the issue? Because the weight could be a symptom to a different problem.
Speaker 2:So let me ask you this mate, for instance, like you said, is a depression problem, or what was the other one, hormonal problem. What do you say? I mean, if you know and your spouse is not.
Speaker 6:If it's hormonal, if it's thyroid, it's beyond that person's control. So you can, People who have thyroid issues. The other individual needs to educate themselves as well, Because they can eat healthy and exercise 24 hours a day and still won't be able to lose weight because they're the hormonal imbalance. So that's kind of a sensitive topic, depending on where the weight issue is coming from. Now, if you say, hey, I'm about to do my annual physical and you need to do yours as well, and we both go to one another's annual physical and we hold each other accountable, then that's something different.
Speaker 6:But if it's depression, then maybe we should see a counselor. And as I'm getting better mentally, you're getting better mentally, then you can invite. Hey, maybe we should also start working out together. But if it's a hormonal thing, if it's thyroid, if it's Hashimoto disease, that's beyond their control. They can eat like a bird and exercise every single day and still won't be able to lose weight. So it just for me, or lupus, because it's up and down and it fluctuates. So for me I think it's a sensitive topic, depending on how the weight was brought on in my opinion.
Speaker 2:I agree, I totally agree with that. So I think so should. If you expect that your partner is having a hormonal problem or a depression problem, you should be able to go to your partner and say, hey, you know what, you should be able to go to them and say let's go to the doctor, and before you say anything about weight, let's go and get a medical advice right. Or seeing you say it to yourself hey, she gained weight or he gained weight, you know what, let's go to the doctor. Like you say that let's do that annual physical. So you're saying it in that way, right, you should say it that way?
Speaker 6:Yeah, because the weight could be a symptom. It's like I think sometimes we're looking at the surface level issue and we're not getting to the root of the problem. If somebody is laying in a room every day, in a dark room, or if all of a sudden their emotions are changing or everything is ticking them off, there's a deeper issue than to the weight gain. The weight gain is just a symptom of the depression.
Speaker 6:A symptom of you know all those, the list of diseases that I said Hashimoto's, thyroid lupus. It's a symptom and I think sometimes, yes, are men visual creatures? Yes, but what's more important, the way that I look, or what's in my mind and what's going on mentally, because I could be slim and thin as a board and fit, but mentally am I okay. So you should check the mental health before you check the physical health, and I think, across the board, they're all important, but it just depends on what your mate is going through.
Speaker 2:All right, and we got a friend of ours from Texas, dallas, texas that sometimes people are in the denial of their problems and perhaps sticking with mental health. And I think you know, especially now, since mental health is a thing I mean growing up, we need to hear about mental health. You know it doesn't mean that it wasn't there at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't mean that it wasn't there, but that's whatever. But I think to just to know what your mental health can affect. You know, like stress, how it can affect your weight. If you're stressing, you can gain weight because you're stressing. You know what I mean. And so, like you said, I think your point is should be well taken. You have to get to the root of the problem before you can say what it is. Now again, like you say, if both of y'all sitting down there stuffing your face and just stuffing, stuffing, stuffing, of course both of y'all are going to gain weight, right.
Speaker 6:But if yeah, but sometimes that stuffing of your face could be you running away from your problems too. It could be a mental issue too. I remember in life on a one back in the day. Sister Patsy will always say you would know where a couple stands, how the woman looks in the relationship.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 6:Because she's no longer getting her nails done, she's no longer getting her hair done like she used to, she's no longer caring about her outward appearance or something is shifting. She's no longer peaceful, she's always snapping, or vice versa, he's no longer caring about his appearance. We wear all of that and I think sometimes we're so caught up in what social media is saying we should look like that we're not stripping away all of those distractions and really focusing on what is going on. In my household, my husband is all of a sudden doing something completely different that he wasn't doing before. I need to find out what is going on, and if he doesn't want to talk to me, I have to either enlist some folks or say we need to seek professional help.
Speaker 2:You're doing your thing tonight, girl. I'm telling you doing your thing tonight because, yeah, it's mental health.
Speaker 4:I'm calling past the answer to the past.
Speaker 2:Oh, here we go, here we go, hey Harold, hey Harold, how you doing.
Speaker 4:I got going. You want to be?
Speaker 6:on the mic.
Speaker 4:No, I was just adding on to what you just said. I said I'm calling them hey both of y'all look good by the way.
Speaker 2:Hey, thank you so much, Harold. Thank you.
Speaker 6:You said that's Eric, your head looking more shiny than ever.
Speaker 2:All right, that's what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, you did. All right, y'all Let me let somebody else call Bye, bye.
Speaker 2:All right it's always good to hear from the Sampson's up there in South Carolina. Well, we're going to see who else is going to call a little bit. We can read a little bit here, you know, Mark. I want to thank you, Mark, for joining us. From Texas man, that's real good and he said that's a sign of depression. What she was talking about. Yeah, I think he's made the product.
Speaker 2:Some very valid points, you know. Very valid points, man, is that, you know, just like we would say, you know, we look at the hours but God looks at the heart. So that means the heart is the root. You know, God is looking, the root of us, and that's when, with our spouse, we have to deal with the root of the problem. If the person is always angry or whatever, why are you angry? If the person is gaining weight, you know, maybe it's stress, maybe it's life, maybe it's a medical problem, and we need to take care of that.
Speaker 2:We need to find out, because I want us to live a long life together. So I need to find out, you know, and we should know at least by now, if a person is, you know, being in a room, coming home, going to sleep, doing, you know, just just depressed. Hey, come on, you know you should be able to. We should know by now a little bit about depression and how it hits, you know, and everything like that. But think about it. One of the you know is after a woman have a baby, you know. But it's called postpartum depression, you know, and you have to be, you have to be up on it. Sometimes women hide it. Sometimes it, I guess it hits all at once. I don't know anything about it.
Speaker 3:I mean, not every woman experience it, but it can just drop on you like a ton of bricks out of nowhere out of nowhere. And you know, any of you and I don't want to say weak, because some Sometimes it can go really into psychosis like you can be fine, you know big stuff of do everything and then by noon it's like what it is come from, you know, and some women Is it get really really bad right, bad, all right, all right.
Speaker 2:First hit the last one here. It says I forbid you, all right, we're not taking any more college. Yeah, I forbid you, you wouldn't. You don't say that to your spouse. I forbid you, jesus or somebody. You gonna forbid somebody. I got your for bed. You run out of credit card. No, sir, no sir, oh, we want to thank each and every person for joining us tonight.
Speaker 2:Before we go, we wanted to announce that on February 1st, at 7 30 pm Every first at 7 30 pm, we're gonna have a virtual marriage talk and prayer with Bishop Gerald and Lady Banks, married for 41 years, 41 years and you. So there's wisdom in that. There's wisdom. You know they've been had ups and they has down and so they just gonna talk. You know it's not gonna be more than an hour, but you, we're gonna hopefully we've able to ask questions at the end. After they do they marriage talk and they're gonna pray over marriages.
Speaker 2:So please, you know, join us for that time as we submit their names and, in a prayer request that you have, that they will pray over those and they can pray over marriages, man, because I believe this year we got to make sure we pray over marriages. We got to pray over marriages, babe, you know, and just seek God, and seek God for wisdom, and just, you know, just just go to God, you know, and and help us on how we're gonna work things out. How are we gonna do this? How, how are we gonna communicate, how are we gonna have intimate? Just just, we'll seek God, and so I want you to join us for that, as we, you know, as as we, as we do, that you know, I want you to join us February 1st at 7 30 pm, right here on our channel, right here on real life TV one. You want you to join us for a virtual marriage talk and Prayer. Amen. So you had a good time tonight.
Speaker 3:I did, but are we forgetting? Is it February anniversary month for the podcast?
Speaker 2:February yes, I don't remember the exact date, but in February we've had a podcast for one year baby. So we're gonna have, we want. Whatever the date is, we're gonna put it out there, we're gonna have, we're gonna have balloons in this place. I mean, if they are, if, if they are local and they want to come and join us live, they can come and join us. They could come and join us live, you know.
Speaker 2:We could take some questions from the audience we want. We will send the video out, a video link that you know. If they want to do a video in it, we can bring them in. Man, let's have a good time for that one year anniversary.
Speaker 3:We've learned a lot, you know I'm sure you guys have learned a lot too, but Eric and I, we have really learned from your experiences in the things that you shared with us. It's been great and it's also helped us build stronger as well, because, again, we had a little tiff on Friday and usually it's still going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but because of this and everything able to communicate, so we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much All right mark here and we're getting ready to go. Marcus says you ever thought about having people who marriage Marriage didn't work to help with the pitfalls that ended their marriage? That is a good thing to have.
Speaker 3:We gonna do that. Yeah we're gonna do that.
Speaker 2:We will. We will do that, we will make sure we we get somebody. I know one of the goals Next year is I know we did it at the marriage retreat to you know, to deaf, do us part and we are. I'm looking at trying to have a and we heard from fur I mean for and then and for really brought tears to the eyes and helped a lot of marriages with that. I want to hear now, I want to be able to get from a Bishop's wife who took over a church of how that affected her. You know what I mean to deaf, do your husband die. She had to take over, she had to do everything, you know, and what did she do? So that's, that's one of the things I want to try to do and I would like to do Amalaka, put it in here as well.
Speaker 3:We wait over our time, but I just want to say this right, quick and sickness and in health.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and sickness and in health is a good one too. I think and is he brought that up? In what you call it too? She's talking about doing the marriage vows, you know, just going through there, and sickness and the health is a good one too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, cuz you never know when you might have to become a full-time nurse caregiver yeah, and kill caregiver. So, yeah, that's definitely one, but I definitely like that the fact of you know I'm having people who marriage didn't work and what was the breaking point? Mm-hmm, I thought that was great Um that'll be great yeah, fur gives truth.
Speaker 2:Well, hey, we thank you all again for join us. Make sure you like and share. Yeah, make sure you like and share. Please make sure you like and share and we want to make sure that after the Podcast has ended, that if you want to have a comment, go and make comments. We will reply to your comments. If you thought this was a great show, go to the comment section and say, hey, great, you just put great show and we'll reply. Just put in there with your man, this was a good show and I thank you, baby, for looking so good, your hair looking good. So I guess what is made to said is true. You know that I'm taking, I'm taking good care of my baby, all right, so we want to say good night to everybody and we want to thank you and we'll see you in two weeks. We will see you in two weeks. Don't forget February 1st, in two weeks. You got a date right, quick, baby.
Speaker 3:Give me one second.
Speaker 2:We know how you are with technology.
Speaker 3:You know how I am insist on having me.
Speaker 2:But yeah, you, yes, in the iPhones, you know, like that.
Speaker 3:Okay, so in two weeks we're looking at what's when it's a March.
Speaker 2:Oh lord.
Speaker 4:The fifth.
Speaker 2:February 5th. Okay, february 5th, all right. We look forward to seeing you February 5th. Remember February 1st at 730 as 730, and then February 5th at 730. We want to make sure you join. We want to thank you again for joining us. God bless you.
Speaker 1:You're hearing this message. You've listened to the entire episode and for that we want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We hope you enjoyed this new episode and, if you did, please rate and review our show on your favorite podcast channel. Please share this episode with others who may be interested in this topic and also feel free to let us know what topics you'd like to see covered in future episodes. Get in touch in the comments on any social media networks at marriage in real life podcast. You see you in two weeks for our next episode. You you.
